tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post5719852467382260293..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 525Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-52943901887195657782008-05-14T05:34:00.000-04:002008-05-14T05:34:00.000-04:00Hi, sorry so late to respond! I'm on the road.She ...Hi, sorry so late to respond! I'm on the road.<BR/><BR/>She has the number memorised in case (which is why I thought the fame obsession was so important). The hotdog was not poisoned but that's not clear to start and the trash press jumps on her - so the fans blame her. Her initial seeking out of attention just makes this worse.<BR/><BR/>I'll work on getting this tightened up and reducing the character description to start. Also sounds like I need to avoid using her phrasing. <BR/><BR/>It's very much a spin on "be careful what you wish for," of course.<BR/><BR/>The length was an estimate, based on sub-plots and ideas.This is a potential WIP - I'll be sure to keep it right down to 40-50k.<BR/><BR/>It's nice to hear that there might be some interest in the concept!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-23512499202084006032008-05-13T08:09:00.000-04:002008-05-13T08:09:00.000-04:00I think both of these have already been mentioned,...I think both of these have already been mentioned, but: <BR/><BR/>Isn't it too long for YA? And isn't an MC who's out of school and into the world of work a trifle too old? Or are the boundaries extending? <BR/><BR/>Does anything actually happen in the book? A dead guy and death threats don't make a plot.Bonniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07895569211498067204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-53649959735617151452008-05-13T02:25:00.000-04:002008-05-13T02:25:00.000-04:00I'm with everyone else on this — it reads like a l...I'm with everyone else on this — it reads like a long back cover blurb.<BR/><BR/>I like the style, but it needs more plot to work as a query.Whirlochrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09846196906206886945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-71512704459078327432008-05-12T23:58:00.000-04:002008-05-12T23:58:00.000-04:00I agree with EE that there is too much early build...I agree with EE that there is too much early build up. And then, you only give us a quick set up of the actual plot. I feel like I don't really know where the story will go. Is this going to turn into a high stakes thriller? A comedy? I'm not really sure, you don't tell us. <BR/>I'm assuming there is more. 90,000 words seems a bit long for a story of how Rebecca deals with death threats. So, give us a few more tidbits.Renee Collinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08170818341212519937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-17865281478911487082008-05-12T23:14:00.000-04:002008-05-12T23:14:00.000-04:00This was a really good crop of GTPs! Guess all tho...This was a really good crop of GTPs! Guess all those faux ads below make for great fertilizer.<BR/><BR/>As for the query ... run with EE's suggestion as to where to start. I think with the "waved him on over" line, you were going for voice, but this falls a little flat for me. The "didn't have a good reason" and "found herself a lot less happy" were actually turn-offs IMO. Sort of 'anti-voice.'Phoenix Sullivanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03290349031002504007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-977122411950413562008-05-12T22:37:00.000-04:002008-05-12T22:37:00.000-04:00This is a really good bunch of comments, as usual....This is a really good bunch of comments, as usual.<BR/><BR/>One thing that stood out is him collapsing before he eats anything. That should clear her immediately since the hotdog won't be in his stomach.<BR/><BR/>Also, as I have learned, a brief set up is best.<BR/><BR/>This has an interesting idea, I think you just need to tighten it and give us what the story is about. If the whole thing hinges on her being at the scene of his collapse, I'm not sure what the story will be.Julie Weathershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13725236516593676381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-17623668834313836422008-05-12T22:36:00.000-04:002008-05-12T22:36:00.000-04:00What a great crop of GTPs. And EE, you scored big...What a great crop of GTPs. And EE, you scored big with <I>At first I thought you meant a stall where they sell dog food. Sort of an upscale Taco Bell.</I> Since I'm at a Holiday Inn in rainy Baltimore right now, I can relate. I think I'll be laughing about that one all night.<BR/><BR/>To the author: Beyond a superstar dying unconvincingly in front of the vapid worker at a mall hot dog stand, I can't really figure out what happens here or why. EE's notes light the way, but you might even start with the death.<BR/><BR/>"When superstar Anthony Harris collapses before her eyes, mall hot dog chick Rebecca thinks she's finally gotten her big break."<BR/><BR/>And rather than just selling hot dogs, I think Rebecca should make her first appearance dressed up as a giant hot dog.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-36069160336753661162008-05-12T22:33:00.000-04:002008-05-12T22:33:00.000-04:00[Hey, big boy, how about a foot-long, all the way?...[Hey, big boy, how about a foot-long, all the way?]<BR/><BR/>Oh, my.Julie Weathershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13725236516593676381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-26972508405591357422008-05-12T20:58:00.000-04:002008-05-12T20:58:00.000-04:00I think this would only work as black humor. I ju...I think this would only work as black humor. I just finished a mystery novel, OSCAR SEASON by Mary McNamara, about murder and mayhem during the run-up to the Oscars, set mainly in a luxury hotel from the PoV of its publicity director. A lot of the things that happen are over the top, and no one is quite what s/he seems. Apparent murders turn out to be publicity stunts, and apparent publicity stunts wind up as murders. This sort of approach seems to be what is needed here--not sympathetic real people caught up in events beyond their control.talpiannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13978075304795724185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-90277506696229811762008-05-12T20:56:00.000-04:002008-05-12T20:56:00.000-04:00Cute idea from the 'be careful what you wish for' ...Cute idea from the 'be careful what you wish for' trope... But...<BR/><BR/>Only three years ago, I was involved with the judging panel of a national YA novel award (Canadian). Not one of the nominees was longer than 50,000 words. <BR/><BR/>Have things changed in YA so much so fast, or is 90,000 words as far out of the field as previous experience leads me to suppose?<BR/><BR/>I'd need to be convinced this manuscript had a plot strong enough to carry all those extra words before I'd request pages.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-53457146692509249902008-05-12T20:40:00.000-04:002008-05-12T20:40:00.000-04:00I'm going to steal GTP #1 and write it. Just letti...I'm going to steal GTP #1 and write it. Just lettin' you know.<BR/><BR/>Lots of interesting possibilities here, but like the others, I have questions. The hot dog chick waving the star over might be totally plausible in the book, but that sentence by itself in the query is hard to believe, as EE points out. Easily fixed.<BR/><BR/>Good luck, sounds like a story with some cool possibilities.<BR/><BR/>Off to write the Johnny Gunz story.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-75300092660295089342008-05-12T17:58:00.000-04:002008-05-12T17:58:00.000-04:00I feel like there's a lot of set-up here. What hap...I feel like there's a lot of set-up here. What happens to Rebecca throughout her brush with fame? If she immediately becomes known as the girl who poisoned Anthony Harris, I can't imagine that she would enjoy even one moment of it. Does she first become famous as the girl who saved him, then the tide turns when people find out she called a gossip mag, <I>then</I> an ambulance? I'd like to see more in the query letter about what Rebecca learns. Does she just learn that fame is not all its cracked up to be? Does she indeed use her energy to find a new job? <BR/><BR/>It sounds like a pretty cool idea. Not something I'd read, but I'd sure as hell like one of my nieces to read it. I'd also be curious to know whether there's some dark humor in this, like <I>Heathers</I>.Stacyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03365582623380288038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-9585622873866051612008-05-12T16:38:00.000-04:002008-05-12T16:38:00.000-04:00I presumed she memorised the number in case she ev...I presumed she memorised the number in case she ever needed it. Frankly, when I consider the dubious routes to fame some people take--being convicted of perjury can make you a tv celebrity, for example (and your awful wife)--I don't think it's so unreasonable (or even undesirable) to become famous as the doler-out of poisonous fast food to superstars. Unfortunately.nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-35771060215525303842008-05-12T15:14:00.000-04:002008-05-12T15:14:00.000-04:00I don't know batgirl, I'm not sure I follow. Bein...I don't know batgirl, I'm not sure I follow. Being the hotdog girl where a big star died is the fame she craved? I feel like there must be some dark humor going on. oR else it's me thats in the dark.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-5319792873700840442008-05-12T14:52:00.000-04:002008-05-12T14:52:00.000-04:00I'm guessing the death threats are because she cal...I'm guessing the death threats are because she called the gossip mag before she called 911, and that this has gotten out. But maybe that could be made clearer? It's an interesting setup - girl gets fame, finds out it has drawbacks - but there's not much here beyond the setup. Wouldn't an agent want a hint of the body of the story? <BR/>I'm not sure you need the information about her waving him over, unless he's incognito and she's the only one who recognises him? <BR/>-Barbarabatgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15143310557906978680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-54082381337505793042008-05-12T13:58:00.000-04:002008-05-12T13:58:00.000-04:00I don't get why she has the magazine phone number ...I don't get why she has the magazine phone number memorized, if she's so unfamous and boring. Why was she calling the magazine so often?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-25914829488325103972008-05-12T13:52:00.000-04:002008-05-12T13:52:00.000-04:00I want to read that!I want to read that!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14182450071417789050noreply@blogger.com