tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post5425126243262910481..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 700!Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-11457766156463581192009-11-24T23:05:05.036-05:002009-11-24T23:05:05.036-05:00Congrats EE, on 700 face-lifts without botox, alth...Congrats EE, on 700 face-lifts without botox, although you have kept me in stitches! Hey, GTP #1 sounds an awful like <i>Terms of Endearment,</i> er, no, I mean, <i>The Last Picture Show</i>?? Will wait to comment on the rev. to this query.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-51798020917017186222009-11-24T17:37:12.194-05:002009-11-24T17:37:12.194-05:00Yea for face lift 700!!!
I was so hoping it was ...Yea for face lift 700!!! <br /><br />I was so hoping it was this GTP because I REALLY like GOOD OMENS. And that's what you sound a lot like, which could be good. But it also makes me wonder how you are different since your horsemen take the flip side of Terry Pratchett's and Neil Gaimon's by denying the role they are suppose to play. <br /><br />I also agree with Dave that the Query needs to start where yours currently ends. <br /><br />Who is your MC? Gabriel or the Horsemen? <br /><br />If it's Gabriel, then you could stay something like - <br /><br />The road to the apocalypse is filled with peril. Love made Archangel Gabriel stay his hand. But now grieving the loss of his wife, he finally understands pain and wants it to end - for him and all of humanity. He marshalls the horsemen only to find that they prefer thier "human" existance. <br /><br />**<br /><br />Make sure the tone of the query matches the tone of the book. I want to see your sense of humor and get a sense of what the book's will be like. <br /><br />Good luck with this one.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12237518808756712176noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-60216430288704217472009-11-24T00:40:34.230-05:002009-11-24T00:40:34.230-05:00I like the introduction of Gabriel, but I wonder w...I like the introduction of Gabriel, but I wonder why he is only doing the apocalypse now. What stopped him before?<br /><br />I got distracted with the personifications of the Four Horsemen because I was thinking of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Horsemen_of_the_Apocalypse_in_popular_culture" rel="nofollow" rel="nofollow">where I'd seen that before</a>, particularly in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Omens" rel="nofollow" rel="nofollow">humorous</a> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thief_of_Time" rel="nofollow" rel="nofollow">fantasy</a>.<br /><br />The bottom line is now I want to know what makes this different from Gaiman and Pratchett's <i>Good Omens</i>. One strong way to start is by giving me a character I care about. Right now the query makes me laugh, but not necessarily care.Adam Heinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02225813532455467868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-42977303197447854892009-11-23T20:55:21.000-05:002009-11-23T20:55:21.000-05:00What they said. I agree that this set-up has amus...What they said. I agree that this set-up has amusing qualities but the query somehow gives me doubt about whether the narrative plays out in a way that fully realizes the potential. I think consistent tone & subtle irony would be best. <br /><br />I've written at least 1200 GTPs, many of which also had amusing qualities, so I'm a lot less impressed with clever plots than I used to be, and a lot more impressed with good execution.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-65516377048841523112009-11-23T18:41:05.799-05:002009-11-23T18:41:05.799-05:00I came back to the query.
Your query should star...I came back to the query. <br /><br />Your query should start where your current query ends. Try starting out with something like "The road to the Apocalypse is filled with peril. Not so much for the mortals waiting to be judged but the four horsemen have been dogging it and boy, are their asses dragging." <br /><br />What makes their journey so memorable and how does it prevent the apocalypse? This sounds like a light and fluffy satirical romp. It needs a light and fluffy query. You started out in the right direction, keep going.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-36777359609785728512009-11-23T16:33:48.001-05:002009-11-23T16:33:48.001-05:00This is a compelling story. Setting it within a bi...This is a compelling story. Setting it within a biblical context instantly increases the level of tension. There may be some kick back, though, from those who are not amused with a parody of the end of the world.<br /><br />I'm not an agent or an editor so take my next statement with a grain of salt. The overall tone of your query seems flippant and that makes me doubt your skills. Actually, it makes me doubt that you're done with the story too. I don't know why that is, sorry.<br /><br />EE made a very valuable observation in pointing out that your query lacks detail. I think it lacks important details regarding character motivations. To me it looks like you've got one "almost character" in Gabriel and three more cardboard cut outs. We need more (but not more words). Some of the "how" would be nice too.<br /><br />Good luck on your story. This is a book I might pick up. I'd probably even buy it if it looked like it was fully realized. <br />-Wendy<br /><br />Congrats to EE on number 7-0h-0h! <br /><br />I spend most of my time writing now, so I don't get to take part as often as I'd like. However I do still lurk and learn.<br /><br />Over the past three years I have written two novels and three screenplays. The crowd on this site has made them better, and whenever I become tired or a bit discoraged I check in with you and the minions. Your energy and guidance always revives me. <br /><br />In fact, per one of EE's more insightful suggestion regarding a screenplay query I submitted I have gone back to novel writing and am working on my third. I am slowly improving and one day hope to be good enough to be published. If that ever happens your encouragement and the minions help will have played a large roll in any success I achieve. <br /><br />I do hope you never come to doubt the difference you make. Sometimes writing has nothing at all to do with getting published. Those are the good days. <br /><br />Thanks again EE. I hope you and your family are well, and I send my very best to all the minions!<br /><br />wendy<br /><br />wendywendynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-32370553898190645672009-11-23T16:11:02.111-05:002009-11-23T16:11:02.111-05:00Seven hundred face-lifts? That's more than Jo...Seven hundred face-lifts? That's more than Joan Collins. It deserves recognition.<br /><br />As to the actual query - so far, it looks like a comedy version of <i>The Prophecy</i> - which is not necessarily a bad thing, if you can pull it off. But it would probably help to have more information about the plot, as well as the set-up. It's not very long right now; there's probably room to fit in a short paragraph about the storyline.Steve Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09836762265698458170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-49202745874585932502009-11-23T15:40:51.376-05:002009-11-23T15:40:51.376-05:00LOL at this:
Famine: I've prevented thousand...LOL at this: <br />Famine: I've prevented thousands from starving. <br />Pestilence: I've cured cancer. <br />War: I'm working for peace on Earth. <br />Death: Man, you guys are killing my profit margin.<br /><br />But the author's not too shabby either. Love this idea! Sounds fun!Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16732006129353079344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-60936863456253593412009-11-23T15:38:14.512-05:002009-11-23T15:38:14.512-05:00It sounds like an interesting read.
I do have one...It sounds like an interesting read.<br /><br />I do have one question. Who is Gabriel's wife? If she's mortal, that implies that she's human. Last time the sons of God (angels) went unto (took for their wives) the daughters of man (human women) they fell from grace with God. So, how does that all work, exactly?<br />You don't really need to explain that for the query to function, but it did create a 'say, what?' moment for me.Kelsey (Dominique) Ridgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10646757546422013401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-11223139163460589612009-11-23T15:32:34.149-05:002009-11-23T15:32:34.149-05:00700? What is this madness? This... is... the wrong...<b>700?</b> What is this madness? <i>This... is... the wrong movie!</i> But heartiest congratulations to EE; all together now: "For he's a jolly good [if really rather quite evil] fellow..."<br /><br />The query itself looks pretty good. Angels being married is probably inaccurate, biblically speaking (Mark 12:25 if you like), but presumably in a story that features the Spirit of War as a peace activist, you needn't concern yourself too much with such niceties.<br /><br />A few more plot details would be welcome; "the bumpiest ride" on its own leaves a bit to be desired.<br /><br />Apocalyptic humor is a very clever idea, and the concept looks like it should be fun here. May we hope for some playful digs at <i>Left Behind</i> and similar biblical potboilers?Eric P.http://www.ericpazdziora.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-58681284232351079702009-11-23T14:42:42.366-05:002009-11-23T14:42:42.366-05:00And when the boat stalls on "It's a Small...<i>And when the boat stalls on "It's a Small World," Jeff finally snaps.</i><br /><br />I did that once. I had one kid who refused to ride anything, an adult who gave in to that kid and never said no, another kid soaking wet, a third in tears over the haunted house ride, another adult screaming at the rest of the group, so I said that we all go on it (because I had been on that ride at the New York City World's Fair) and forced them to load me onto the ride and lift me back out. It worked, they all shut up after that and behaved, even the adults. <br /><br />... query? what query... OH! let me read it.<br /><br /><b>BUT FIRST -- read the number 700. EE hit 700. 700 queries critiqued. seven hundred. That's thirty-five score and none left over. It's been a long and arduous slog helping others get published but you did it. You did all of them. Hooray! You might even qualify for sainthood. The faithful might start calling you blessed Evil Editor!<br /><br />CONGRATULATIONS!</b>Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.com