tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post5376266760783868955..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 560Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-10633380788306530852008-09-07T17:19:00.000-04:002008-09-07T17:19:00.000-04:00I liked the plot suggestions 3 and 5 betterI liked the plot suggestions 3 and 5 betterAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-47724780407677209982008-09-03T09:49:00.000-04:002008-09-03T09:49:00.000-04:00Scott, if you wish to disprove religious ideas it ...Scott, if you wish to disprove religious ideas it is well to research them carefully.<BR/><BR/>Many people are under the mistaken impression that Christianity teaches the immortality of the soul; and in its present fractured state, many forms of Christianity do imply that the soul is immortal and automatically survives death. However, there are well-established orthodox Christian teachings, dating from the long periods of Christian unity, that teach something rather different.<BR/><BR/>In this teaching the soul is the life - we do not and cannot experience it without our bodies because we were not so constituted. In fact, the soul with the body emerged from nothingness at the call of God, and separated from God it must return toward nothingness according to its own nature.<BR/><BR/>St. Athanasius, who formulated many of our essential doctrines, details this in his books; they are short and easy to read.<BR/><BR/>The question of anything surviving after death is not the primary concern of Christian teaching. We are more concerned with death itself being conquered and its destruction undone. What survives in the meantime, we believe, is not the soul but the person, and it only does so through God's creative act - something that Orthodox Christians describe as God "remembering" the person. Technically the human being as we know him sleeps in death, waiting for his real destiny.<BR/><BR/>The hope of final salvation for Christians is not of going to heaven as a disembodied spirit, but of being resurrected in the body. We hope, after the end of all things, to attain a life of perfect union with God, with humanity, and within oneself as body, soul, and personality are reconstituted according to the pattern of Christ.<BR/><BR/>This is why at the end of The Creed we say "I look for the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come."<BR/><BR/>Moreover, it is a very fundamental mistake in reason for people to believe that science has proved the non-existence of things to which science can have nothing whatever to say.ARhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13666571475198046454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-30154262465032991912008-09-02T17:11:00.000-04:002008-09-02T17:11:00.000-04:00See, now, I would spell that name as Baldini.See, now, I would spell that name as Baldini.batgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15143310557906978680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-70856572323449481642008-08-31T09:27:00.000-04:002008-08-31T09:27:00.000-04:00Hey Scott,I agree with what paca said: But if your...Hey Scott,<BR/><BR/>I agree with what paca said: <I>But if your target audience is the regular fiction crowd, my thought is to take the neurological explanations of consciousness out of the query and let that theme emerge through the story.</I><BR/><BR/>I think the concept of what you're doing sounds really good, and I'd only say - take your time and weave that in naturally in the story itself, and leave it out of the query, as paca mentioned.<BR/><BR/>Good luck with this. I think it could be wonderful - you've gotta step over some land mines in the process of writing. And the query- I guess the some of the story itself will need to show - what happened to put him there - and a few plot points on his journey back. Just my opinion.Robin S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03258459688300851984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-35157408651456186452008-08-30T17:14:00.000-04:002008-08-30T17:14:00.000-04:00That's why I decided to weave the argument in a st...That's why I decided to weave the argument in a story. I figured it was better than telling people they don't go anywhere when they die.<BR/><BR/>That tends to upset some people.<BR/><BR/>Yep, I pretty much figure it isn't any of your business to "educate' me about my beliefs. Trying to sell a thinly veiled theory in the guise of a novel? Good luck with that.Julie Weathershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13725236516593676381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-83850652590303330892008-08-30T13:38:00.000-04:002008-08-30T13:38:00.000-04:00Is the story a thinly veiled attempt to convince t...Is the story a thinly veiled attempt to convince the 90 percent that they are wrong, or is the argument incidental to the story? You seem to indicate the former with your comment:<BR/><BR/>"That's why I decided to weave the argument in a story. I figured it was better than telling people they don't go anywhere when they die."<BR/><BR/>If the story exists only to prove that point it will be obvious (and possibly condescending and even more possibly tedious) to the reader. If the story is interesting and the "new" theory happens to show up somewhere in the story, that might be interesting/illuminating/engaging.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-38711498628373470752008-08-30T11:49:00.000-04:002008-08-30T11:49:00.000-04:00Scott, the concept as you describe it sounds rathe...Scott, the concept as you describe it sounds rather overly theme-ish and might be a problem for the sell. Perhaps just show the story you are trying to tell, as in where the character comes from and where he goes to and the challenges the brain damage and coma have supplied him with. Sounds very much a character oriented story, but I don't think I'm along in saying I tend to steer clear of any theme that appears to be looming to batter me across the head and shoulders. So maybe minimize that aspect as much as possible.writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-448079262531435962008-08-30T10:54:00.000-04:002008-08-30T10:54:00.000-04:00@Buffy, re: setting of bones during a coma. Not n...@Buffy, re: setting of bones during a coma. Not necessarily true. Head trauma patients get pinned, plated or splinted all the time, particularly if the fractures are severe. They may get ex-fixes (external fixators), screws drilled into the bone with the heads connected to a rig above the skin that holds the underlying bone in alignment. Think erector set. The limiting factor to operative repair of fractures in the early traumatic brain injured patient is the fluctuations of intracranial pressure associated with anesthesia & surgery. But if somebody's achieved a "stable" coma, such repairs are common. <BR/><BR/>@December, re: bedridden war. In such a conflict the side that develops the bedpan catapult would undoubtedly win the skirmish (or squirmish).EBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14361825595951678685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-60119665293658523812008-08-30T05:11:00.000-04:002008-08-30T05:11:00.000-04:00Except that all the while the guy's in a coma, the...Except that all the while the guy's in a coma, they can't set his bones, so they will probably have to be rebroken and set when he wakes up.nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-31605093316113456932008-08-30T04:47:00.000-04:002008-08-30T04:47:00.000-04:00Hi Scott, I was getting the impression that there ...Hi Scott, I was getting the impression that there were tinges of the mind/body problem in this book (I'm sorta in cogsci myself). I think it muddies the query unless you want to sell the book to people specifically looking for new ways to look at questions of the self, the mind, etc. Doughlas Hofstadtler's books have funn conversations between Achilles and a tortoise, and other fanciful asides, but are marketed at people interested in a "non-fiction" topic. But if your target audience is the regular fiction crowd, my thought is to take the neurological explanations of consciousness out of the query and let that theme emerge through the story.pacatruehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04125048243775811714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-49934613466871463082008-08-30T01:44:00.000-04:002008-08-30T01:44:00.000-04:00It is obvious that this is not the standard novel,...It is obvious that this is not the standard novel, and one difficult to query.<BR/>I am a possible audience for this, if written well.<BR/>About the query: The list of questions needs to be shortened or turned to some sort of narrative: perhaps the protag's inner thoughts.<BR/>Dave's suggestion to focus on one one area is good.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-88647254608318638712008-08-30T00:11:00.000-04:002008-08-30T00:11:00.000-04:00"I'm curious as to when science proved this, but n..."I'm curious as to when science proved this, but not curious enough to start a debate."<BR/><BR/>That's why I decided to weave the argument in a story. I figured it was better than telling people they don't go anywhere when they die.<BR/><BR/>That tends to upset some people.Scott from Oregonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01331284708780612453noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-39721555183090370522008-08-29T23:30:00.000-04:002008-08-29T23:30:00.000-04:00But it also explains some things about the science...But it also explains some things about the science of brain function and refutes what 90% of American believe about the transmigration of the soul...<BR/><BR/>I'm curious as to when science proved this, but not curious enough to start a debate.Julie Weathershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13725236516593676381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-18367566271324138072008-08-29T22:31:00.000-04:002008-08-29T22:31:00.000-04:00The philosophical ravings of a hero waking from a ...The philosophical ravings of a hero waking from a coma. With nothing but time, Walter examines his life to date, trying to decide if the bizarre bent to his thoughts is from losing a piece of his brain or from finally getting uninterrupted time to listen to himself think.<BR/><BR/>Just some of my own ravings here.Sarah Laurensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09252565450452195395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-62993246154543210692008-08-29T22:26:00.000-04:002008-08-29T22:26:00.000-04:00Deep soul searching done well can be a great read ...Deep soul searching done well can be a great read though I've known people who tire of it in a short period of pages.<BR/><BR/>I think Dave has a great point about picking what this book is about and not trying to be all things to all people. What is the main thrust of the story?Sarah Laurensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09252565450452195395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-24464810678210410332008-08-29T22:11:00.000-04:002008-08-29T22:11:00.000-04:00Thanks robin!I tried the tell what happens approac...Thanks robin!<BR/><BR/>I tried the tell what happens approach and everything sounded so trite in synapses that I thought I'd take a shake at a different approach.<BR/><BR/>Dave-- Yes, all three. A story about a life of great heroism, where there is no heroics, leading up to one heroic action that results in him getting beat into a coma (not the result he had in mind).<BR/><BR/>So, the story of the boy nobody paid any attention to, and the story of one great heroic moment that was great in its heroism but a failure in result, and the story of a coma survivor and how brain function IS what we are, and the story of those whose lives he touches or who touch his life... <BR/><BR/>(See, it starts to sound trite...)<BR/><BR/>But it also explains some things about the science of brain function and refutes what 90% of American believe about the transmigration of the soul...<BR/><BR/>So yeah, I can't quite figure out how to plate the meat effectively...Scott from Oregonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01331284708780612453noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-8294779261778730942008-08-29T20:07:00.000-04:002008-08-29T20:07:00.000-04:00I don't believe this will sell. The author has ob...I don't believe this will sell. The author has obviously been through the situation he describes (or has interviewed someone who has.) But those of us who have want to forget it, not read about it, and I cannot imagine that those who have not would be any more enthusiastic about it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-43218792203437697042008-08-29T18:37:00.000-04:002008-08-29T18:37:00.000-04:00As has been mentioned, there is no story here in ...As has been mentioned, there is no story here in the letter. This felt like it could be interesting, but what's on the page is a yawnfest at this point. <BR/><BR/>writtenwyrddAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-44533558998600734672008-08-29T18:12:00.000-04:002008-08-29T18:12:00.000-04:00BTW - I like GTP #5 and the idea of nearly incorpo...BTW - I like GTP #5 and the idea of nearly incorporeal bioluminescent creatures out to take over the world. It's subtle, it's different and the setting is so unusual.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-89658195123461992892008-08-29T18:09:00.000-04:002008-08-29T18:09:00.000-04:00I'm trying to figure out what the novel is about. ...I'm trying to figure out what the novel is about. It this is about one man's recovery from a severe accident and his antics in the hospital that's one story. If it is about one man's heroic deeds that got him into a coma and hospitalized, that's a second story told in flashbacks. If this is about the discovery of ones self after a severe accident, then that is a third story. <BR/><BR/><BR/>The query tried to be all three and the query suffers for it. Pick the main story and write about Walter and his struggle, or Walter and his actions, or Walter and his discovery of a new life after coma. <BR/><BR/>I remember the New Beginning of this query and as I recall, the hospital staff thinks he's a hero and he doesn't think that. SO I suspect that's the story and that's what the query should be focused on.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-61370938930671156872008-08-29T17:42:00.000-04:002008-08-29T17:42:00.000-04:00At least at the obgyn office, the ceiling is decor...At least at the obgyn office, the ceiling is decorated.Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11794946908789120139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-18069414824294887282008-08-29T17:24:00.000-04:002008-08-29T17:24:00.000-04:00I'm intrigued. And not too bothered a...I'm intrigued. And not too bothered about the paragraph thing because that's braindamageforya.<BR/><BR/>But — more questions than answers here, particularly in the paragraph with all the questions.<BR/><BR/><I>practicing his dance moves beneath the sheet</I>, I like, along with <I><BR/>(Especially if you’ve been kicked in the head while down and beat into a coma)</I><BR/><BR/>I sense something better than this query hints at, lurking beneath this query.Whirlochrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09846196906206886945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-11677062178338334812008-08-29T16:58:00.000-04:002008-08-29T16:58:00.000-04:00Hi,I know we've seen the opening to this, and I li...Hi,<BR/><BR/>I know we've seen the opening to this, and I liked it a lot. I think this is a case where the query doesn't tell the story. Been there.<BR/><BR/>I think it would be hard to write a query for this novel, if I understand where you're going like I think I do.<BR/><BR/>If the opening and the other parts I read are anything like the rest of this, I AM in the audience camp for your novel. <BR/><BR/>The Dinner with Andre that paca mentioned would ALSO be hard to write a query for, and this is one of the (many) reasons why I wish people would ask for the first 10 pages and a brief (not-necessarily-an-art-form-in-itself kind of) query, and pay more attention to how they felt when they read the first pages, and whether or not they really wished there was another page to turn to when they reached the end of the pages they'd been given.<BR/><BR/>I mean, writing a query for one of my all-time favorite sitcoms, Seinfeld, would've been one big bitch to do. And I think that's precisely because it was so different and such a breath of fresh air when it came out.<BR/><BR/>Mini-rant over and out. For now.Robin S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03258459688300851984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-86706051665807896002008-08-29T16:35:00.000-04:002008-08-29T16:35:00.000-04:00I am _so_ not the audience for this book. (I was r...I am _so_ not the audience for this book. (I was reminded a little of <I>Johnny Got His Gun</I>, too, but I loathed that book, so that wasn't a good thing. It also reminded me of my husband's attempts to get me interested in the philosophical discussions and questions in <I>Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance</I>, and how dull, insipid, and annoying I found every one of them. So, like I said, I am not the audience for this one, sorry.)<BR/><BR/>So the only comment I can make is to say broken bones heal in 6-8 weeks, generally. Even large-bone fractures (thigh bones, for example) heal within three months or so, so for the protag to wake up three and a half months later and still have broken bones isn't believable.<BR/><BR/>Oh, and the bedridden war thing? That would be awesome.Staciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07969399927758009095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-45187232640503786062008-08-29T16:28:00.000-04:002008-08-29T16:28:00.000-04:00You lost my attention. Your bedridden description...You lost my attention. Your bedridden description brought back vivid memories of JOHNNY GOT HIS GUN... Which was a brilliant novel about the whole world, not just a guy in a bed. This just seemed too pale in comparison.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com