tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post4518670551539270271..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 371Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-9033383691002594792007-07-09T14:24:00.000-04:002007-07-09T14:24:00.000-04:00The line about how they should be standing between...The line about how they should be standing between the throne and the being, instead of infighting - it reads like an editorial comment on how annoying and misguided your characters are. You might want to cut it, or at least move it to _after_ you reveal that Raleigh isn't really trying to destroy Elizabeth.batgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15143310557906978680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-22748442797601111272007-07-06T20:31:00.000-04:002007-07-06T20:31:00.000-04:00Sorry, I couldn't understand it. What does this me...Sorry, I couldn't understand it. <BR/><BR/>What does this mean?<BR/>"The being begins murdering off both factions, who should stand between it and the throne instead of constantly infighting." <BR/><BR/>and this? "the rumors of Raleigh's intentions" <BR/><BR/>Raleigh and Earl Hertford are dupes, but why is the being from beyond our world a dupe?<BR/><BR/>Also, that loooong first sentence-paragraph ought to be divided.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-85362711714987214612007-07-06T16:02:00.000-04:002007-07-06T16:02:00.000-04:00The first paragraph is really fun to read in a Val...The first paragraph is really fun to read in a Valley girl sort of voice, actually.<BR/><BR/>After that, I have zero idea what I just read. The book might be perfectly clear (and, I suspect, long) but the query letter is compacted and garbled. Like you're trying to get too much in, maybe.<BR/><BR/>I hope your book isn't supposed to be in the same vein as Dan Brown, because I'm this far > < away from opening that vein for good. (Please, Dan Brown, please stop)Peter Damienhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17450924500401351569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-43771568676083877132007-07-06T09:13:00.000-04:002007-07-06T09:13:00.000-04:00"The being begins murdering off both factions, who..."The being begins murdering off both factions, who should stand between it and the throne instead of constantly infighting"<BR/>Sorry but if the story's prose is as fuzzy as the query's...Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-28907926944224690682007-07-06T00:13:00.000-04:002007-07-06T00:13:00.000-04:00"Fortune's Fool" gets 42,000 hits on google, inclu..."Fortune's Fool" gets 42,000 hits on google, including numerous books & at least 1 movie. Hard to find yours in all that, eh? I'd try to think of a more unique phrase for my title.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-5088840177322901032007-07-05T22:30:00.000-04:002007-07-05T22:30:00.000-04:00This sounds like it should be a comedy a la The Hi...This sounds like it should be a comedy a la The History of the Word Part I, but I don't think it is. <BR/><BR/>bizarro doesn't cover this plot, but I'd probably read it. <BR/><BR/>Not sure why it has to be the shroud of Turin, which doesn't have as many miracles as those bodies of saints who have several bodies apiece. Loaves and fishes? Pshaw! Saints knuckle bones! Now there's a miracle...writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-19016173506379278122007-07-05T20:37:00.000-04:002007-07-05T20:37:00.000-04:00Hmm, I'm imagining a movie of this... With Phil Si...Hmm, I'm imagining a movie of this... With Phil Silvers and Jerry Lewis...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-85344467328339155862007-07-05T19:40:00.000-04:002007-07-05T19:40:00.000-04:00Note to self: Always include an asterisk in query....Note to self: Always include an asterisk in query. Asterisked footnote optional.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-53843945918728879442007-07-05T19:37:00.000-04:002007-07-05T19:37:00.000-04:00Hey Dave, I am quite sure you are wrong on these t...Hey Dave, I am quite sure you are wrong on these three points about fortune:<BR/><BR/>1) quote from Romeo and Juliet. <BR/><BR/>2)"La Forza del Destino" where the inevitability of fate descends tragically on the principals.<BR/><BR/>3)"Fortune" as in the opening of the Carmina Burana - "O fortuna" ... <BR/><BR/>Have you never eaten Chinese food? You know that yummy treat at the end. It's called A FORTUNE COOKIE!<BR/><BR/>HELLO. I hope you get it now.<BR/><BR/>(grin)<BR/>Just kidding!! I love reading your posts. I always learn something new. (Usually can't retain it, but I try!)<BR/><BR/>Cheers,<BR/><BR/>TakodaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-88786583742780757922007-07-05T18:46:00.000-04:002007-07-05T18:46:00.000-04:00I think the being should be a zombie shark. I'd bu...I think the being should be a zombie shark. I'd buy that in a New York minute.<BR/><BR/>This actually has just enough of a bizarro premise that I had to read the whole query, just to be sure I hadn't read it wrong. Unfortunately, the query didn't clear that up for me. I can't tell how many fake shrouds are running around or what, exactly, the shroud is supposed to be able to do.<BR/><BR/>But that's okay. My query was pretty confusing and unhelpful plot-wise, too. We'll get better. People around here are really helpful that way.GutterBallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17943760313844692975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-2590262527116326482007-07-05T17:39:00.000-04:002007-07-05T17:39:00.000-04:00I think my head hurts. No. No. Please no. But i...I think my head hurts. No. No. Please no. <BR/><BR/>But it will probably be a bestseller...Bonniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07895569211498067204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-6096017214892223332007-07-05T15:55:00.000-04:002007-07-05T15:55:00.000-04:00Well, being neither pudgy nor balding, I didn't vi...Well, being neither pudgy nor balding, I didn't visit NYC to get my palm read, today. :)<BR/><BR/>I think that in the query letter you have to own up to what the "being" is. <BR/><BR/><I>"Defender of the faith Hertford, must not only prevent Raleigh from stealing the Shroud for demonic purposes, he also has to defend the world from invasion by wannabee pagan god X or fallen angel Y." </I><BR/><BR/>It's a wild plot, ought to be a fun read. <BR/><BR/>Now you didn't explain the title. I'm not sure you have to explain it but "Fortune's Fool" is a quote from Romeo and Juliet. Romeo has just killed Tybalt for slaying Mercution and realizes that he is banished. This occurs just after his marraige to Juliet. Big drama. I can't see the parallels. <BR/><BR/>Now if you mean fortune as in "La Forza del Destino" where the inevitability of fate descends tragically on the principals. I still don't see a love interest. It's a five hour opera and FATE wins in the end BTW. <BR/><BR/>If you mean "Fortune" as in the opening of the Carmina Burana - "O fortuna" ... I might understand. "Oh fortune, variable as the moon, inconstant companion." That makes more sense. Sorta like Lady Luck.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.com