tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post4074579329307358189..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Feedback RequestEvil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-33953150816566269232017-04-26T12:42:43.921-04:002017-04-26T12:42:43.921-04:00Thank you for all the helpful comments. I'll ...Thank you for all the helpful comments. I'll work on another revision.Query writernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-77247551917491748742017-04-24T16:59:56.983-04:002017-04-24T16:59:56.983-04:00St0n3h3ng3--we have similar beetles here in Califo...St0n3h3ng3--we have similar beetles here in California. And don't forget the flesh-eating ones they use to clean bones.<br /><br />If someone says they have 'dragon magic', I'm picturing things like fire breath, mind control, and flying. Also hoarding, though in a person that may manifest itself in ways other than gold and jewels. Maybe you hoard things like Tupperware lids, or things that need to be fixed one day when you can get around to it.khazar-khumnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-11539680742157014102017-04-24T16:45:29.409-04:002017-04-24T16:45:29.409-04:00I want to read this! I don't usually read this...I want to read this! I don't usually read this genre, but you have a very good story going on here. Also a vivid imagination.<br />Most of the queries I read on here have no life it seems, but this one does. Please polish this up and get it published! I'll buy it at the bookstore:)<br />CavalierdeNuithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09862976676163347369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-36228077005043128802017-04-24T15:17:02.245-04:002017-04-24T15:17:02.245-04:00It's hard to follow a whisper, but pretty easy...It's hard to follow a whisper, but pretty easy to ignore it. I don't think your metaphor works.<br /><br />“Enhance dragon magic” still isn't clear.<br /><br />We have destructive beetles in Colorado. They really do a number on our trees.<br /><br />It seems to me that if you can “enhance dragon magic” that would be your life goal, and you wouldn't be truly fulfilled unless you were paired with a dragon. Can you explain why this is not true?<br /><br />St0n3hengehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08504412781917592790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-79340952727064028802017-04-24T14:11:01.247-04:002017-04-24T14:11:01.247-04:00Version 1 was full of vivid, weird details, but co...Version 1 was full of vivid, weird details, but completely confusing. Version 2 is very logical but bland. I think in between is a decent query, one that keeps both the uniqueness and the internal logic. I feel like you are maybe trying to tell us too much of the story? Maybe if you start from the bare bones of hero's mission, conflict/ obstacles and what's at stake, that will leave room for the cool stuff too. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-72006224880308308702017-04-24T11:17:58.810-04:002017-04-24T11:17:58.810-04:00It's almost as if the first query focused on a...It's almost as if the first query focused on a later part of the story while this one covers the first half. Anyway, this one does well on logical progression, but I'm afraid, as EE noted, there are generalities (a whisper, dragon magic, stronger attacks) that weaken it. Can you make everything as specific as the arrows and the beetles?<br /><br />My guess re the properties of dragon magic: power over six-limbed critters and anything that can fly.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com