tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post3559145757560460699..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Q & A 132 Who is this Nathan Bransford clown, and Why Is He Taking Away My Similes?Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-33976980412641387812008-02-23T04:27:00.000-05:002008-02-23T04:27:00.000-05:00Very Like a Whale One thing that literature woul...Very Like a Whale <BR/><BR/>One thing that literature would be greatly the better for<BR/>Would be a more restricted employment by the authors of simile and metaphor.<BR/>Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons or Celts,<BR/>Can't seem just to say that anything is the thing it is but have to go out of their way to say that it is like something else.<BR/>What does it mean when we are told<BR/>That that Assyrian came down like a wolf on the fold?<BR/>In the first place, George Gordon Byron had enough experience<BR/>To know that it probably wasn't just one Assyrian, it was a lot of<BR/>Assyrians.<BR/>However, as too many arguments are apt to induce apoplexy and thus hinder longevity.<BR/>We'll let it pass as one Assyrian for the sake of brevity.<BR/>Now then, this particular Assyrian, the one whose cohorts were gleaming in purple and gold,<BR/>Just what does the poet mean when he says he came down like a wolf on the fold?<BR/>In heaven and earth more than is dreamed of in our philosophy <BR/>there are a great many things.<BR/>But I don't imagine that among them there is a wolf with purple<BR/>and gold cohorts or purple and gold anythings.<BR/>No, no, Lord Byron, before I'll believe that this Assyrian was<BR/>actually like a wolf I must have some kind of proof;<BR/>Did he run on all fours and did he have a hairy tail and a big red<BR/>mouth and big white teeth and did he say Woof Woof?<BR/>Frankly I think it is very unlikely, and all you were entitled to say, at the very most,<BR/>Was that the Assyrian cohorts came down like a lot of Assyrian cohorts about to destroy the Hebrew host.<BR/>But that wasn't fancy enough for Lord Byron, oh dear me no, he<BR/>had to invent a lot of figures of speech and then interpolate them,<BR/>With the result that whenever you mention Old Testament soldiers<BR/>to people they say Oh yes, they're the ones that a lot of wolves dressed up in gold and purple ate them.<BR/>That's the kind of thing that's being done all the time by poets, from Homer to Tennyson;<BR/>They're always comparing ladies to lilies and veal to venison,<BR/>And they always say things like that the snow is a white blanket<BR/>after a winter storm.<BR/>Oh it is, is it, all right then, you sleep under a six-inch blanket of snow and I'll sleep under a half-inch blanket of unpoetical<BR/>blanket material and we'll see which one keeps warm,<BR/>And after that maybe you'll begin to comprehend dimly<BR/>What I mean by too much metaphor and simile. <BR/> <BR/>Ogden Nashtalpiannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13978075304795724185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-27482622677072736762008-02-23T03:34:00.000-05:002008-02-23T03:34:00.000-05:00Don't forget the adjectives, can't use them either...Don't forget the adjectives, can't use them either.<BR/><BR/>Must read rules for writing:<BR/><BR/>http://mumpsimus.blogspot.com/2006/11/rules-for-writing.html<BR/><BR/>This has been around for a couple of years, but I still like it.Xenithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15550985137843901009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-70407815393303432872008-02-22T21:43:00.000-05:002008-02-22T21:43:00.000-05:00Robin, I would never have suggested that, but than...Robin, I would never have suggested that, but thanks for saving me the trouble.<BR/><BR/>Off on a tangent, I'm of the Elmore Leonard school when it comes to using adverbs in dialogue tags, and I rarely use a verb other than said, though "asked" and "lied" are a couple that don't flame up in the face of the reader. I think you can usually show the way something was said with some action on the part of the speaker, rather than tell the way it was said with an adverb. I won't say I never do it, but I think twice in a book would cover it, since that seems to be the popular maximum for questionable tactics. Robert Ludlum gets away with a lot of adverbs, but I guess if you've sold 400 humpzillion books you can do pretty much anything you want.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-77059094653016555562008-02-22T20:24:00.000-05:002008-02-22T20:24:00.000-05:00Personally, I blame the internet. Especially now w...Personally, I blame the internet. Especially now we're in the time of forums and blogs and, of course, texting -- you see those damn things everywhere. It's like these days people can't put a simple sentence together without inserting a simile in there somewhere. At first it was just the simple similey face and frowney face; now there's winking and angry and it seems there's a whole industry around thinking up new ones of these similes. I hate 'em.<BR/><BR/>/rant over. ;-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-23768948343027402212008-02-22T19:19:00.000-05:002008-02-22T19:19:00.000-05:00If it was my balloon, I'd lose the Bee Gees long b...If it was my balloon, I'd lose the Bee Gees long before John Denver. All three thirds of the latter ascended to a higher plane ten years ago - plus, he kept nightmares of a falsetto eunuch rampage at bay with his quietly contemplative lyrics.Whirlochrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09846196906206886945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-9532389922194488612008-02-22T18:26:00.000-05:002008-02-22T18:26:00.000-05:00Evil Editor, I'm a Good Girl, didn't you hear?May ...Evil Editor, I'm a Good Girl, didn't you hear?<BR/><BR/>May Vanderbilt here, the MFA grad in question. I went to Johns Hopkins, as Nathan reports. And now I write chick lit and use my diploma to prop open a window, so what do I know? hahaha<BR/><BR/>Anyways, I can't remember which prof said it exactly (you are correct there, sir) but I do believe it was intended to be a hyperbolic goal. <BR/><BR/>Either way, we've all heard ones we loved and ones we hated. I'll probably go to my grave saying, Use them sparingly and cautiously.<BR/><BR/>(Oooh! Look at all those adverbs!)May Vanderbilthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14289249781773911906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-14353578381102870232008-02-22T17:42:00.000-05:002008-02-22T17:42:00.000-05:00Hopefully not one of those creepy clowns who don't...Hopefully not one of those creepy clowns who don't shave properly and where you can see their stubble beneath their sloppily applied face paint. Those clowns scare the living crap out of me.<BR/><BR/>And just to set the record straight, May received the advice from either Stephen Dixon or Anne McDermott. <BR/><BR/>Thanks for posting all of the wonderful similes, Evil Editor. And of course, where would we be without Annie's Song by John Denver? Our senses just wouldn't be filled by nights in forests, mountains in springtime, and walks in the rain, that's what.Nathan Bransfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17938449789819847825noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-6152531797233782742008-02-22T17:41:00.000-05:002008-02-22T17:41:00.000-05:00Will you marry me?Will you marry me?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-76449395605284219812008-02-22T15:21:00.000-05:002008-02-22T15:21:00.000-05:00"like an orange in a fried fish shop""like a viper..."like an orange in a fried fish shop"<BR/><BR/>"like a viper swimming in skim milk"<BR/><BR/>What would Joyce Carey's "The Horse's Mouth" be without similes?Scott from Oregonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01331284708780612453noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-78342252709069866982008-02-22T14:07:00.000-05:002008-02-22T14:07:00.000-05:00http://goodgirllit.blogspot.com/I'm reading South ...http://goodgirllit.blogspot.com/<BR/><BR/>I'm reading South on this one - but East to West when I got to the pictures of Jesus.<BR/><BR/>N.B. has added a comment to his simile thread. It's all true, of course - but turn down the brightness on your monitor or you'll be blinded for life.Whirlochrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09846196906206886945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-263328206669929922008-02-22T13:57:00.000-05:002008-02-22T13:57:00.000-05:00Yeah, it was the moral compass that got me all con...Yeah, it was the moral compass that got me all confused. Perhaps because mine may be thought of as slightly ajar, in the traditional sense.<BR/><BR/>Unless BT is just doing one of his plays on words, and he meant the blonde's <I>smile</I> was more important than any <I>s</I><B>i</B><I>miles</I> going on.Robin S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03258459688300851984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-21243650269618192322008-02-22T13:43:00.000-05:002008-02-22T13:43:00.000-05:00Are you going here? http://goodgirllit.blogspot.co...Are you going here? http://goodgirllit.blogspot.com/<BR/><BR/>Are you looking at the photo of the women Nathan was drinking with? Are you thinking he was with these women because of their writing talent? <BR/><BR/>Of course he wasn't. It was their moral compasses.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-84984612135492760402008-02-22T13:30:00.000-05:002008-02-22T13:30:00.000-05:00OK- I don't get it either.OK- I don't get it either.Robin S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03258459688300851984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-21007575994429389772008-02-22T13:26:00.000-05:002008-02-22T13:26:00.000-05:00Um... OK blogless. I don't, um... get it.Um... OK blogless. I don't, um... get it.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-5069898110533995632008-02-22T13:17:00.000-05:002008-02-22T13:17:00.000-05:00Oh, crap. Now I have to go look.Oh, crap. Now I have to go look.Robin S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03258459688300851984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-54544851775792862942008-02-22T12:53:00.000-05:002008-02-22T12:53:00.000-05:00I don't want to be too crude here, but I followed ...I don't want to be <I>too</I> crude here, but I followed the link on Bransford's site to his MFA drinking buddy's site, which has a picture of her and her friend, and, I dunno, it's possible his post isn't really about similes.Blogless Trollhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03983848259551488867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-86462736046269078992008-02-22T12:40:00.000-05:002008-02-22T12:40:00.000-05:00Thanks, EE. If I couldn't 'similize', my writing w...Thanks, EE. <BR/><BR/>If I couldn't 'similize', my writing would be dead in the water.<BR/>I'm a very analogical person (and no, BT, stick and move, or Wes, this has nothing to do with anuses).Robin S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03258459688300851984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-38152608875951220282008-02-22T12:36:00.000-05:002008-02-22T12:36:00.000-05:00Thanks for the clarification, EE. I already had e...Thanks for the clarification, EE. I already had enough confidence (she said confidently) to use metaphores and similies as I see fit, but it's nice to know that I can use more than 2 per book!<BR/><BR/>The big worry is, of course,being labeled an idiot for the occasional misfire.writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-43886332024673692632008-02-22T12:13:00.000-05:002008-02-22T12:13:00.000-05:00Wasn't trying to criticize you, Buffy. Genuinely ...Wasn't trying to criticize you, Buffy. Genuinely curious as to the "right" rule wrt single words. Thanks for the answer, EE.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-57795888507894944882008-02-22T12:05:00.000-05:002008-02-22T12:05:00.000-05:00There's not much difference between: "I'm having a...There's not much difference between: <BR/><I>"I'm having an affair," she said softly.</I><BR/>and<BR/><I>"I'm having an affair," she said ins a soft voice hoping to lessen the severity of her sin.</I><BR/><BR/>It's style. <BR/>However, I will say that I think it's the difference between writing for the page and writing for a visual medium. The visual media allows close examination of the subject (pictures). The written media requires description (words) to illustrate its point.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-49413188151366678822008-02-22T11:52:00.000-05:002008-02-22T11:52:00.000-05:00In Britain, we put the punctuation outside the quo...In Britain, we put the punctuation outside the quote marks unless it's an intrinsic part of what's being quoted.<BR/><BR/>In the US, punctuation seems to be placed inside the quote marks regardless of whether it's intrinsic.<BR/><BR/>So, what I wrote was correct for English, but not necessarily for American English :).nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-36231602954727647092008-02-22T11:21:00.000-05:002008-02-22T11:21:00.000-05:00Marvelous. EE, we amateurs (maybe I should just s...Marvelous. EE, we amateurs (maybe I should just speak for myself when I write about amateurs) need perspective as we grope along trying to learn our craft. I can't wait to present this to my critique group who love to pounce on every adverb and simile they can identify.Weshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03077791761104576436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-48179956109418438582008-02-22T11:05:00.000-05:002008-02-22T11:05:00.000-05:00There may be some highly technical rules, and as I...There may be some highly technical rules, and as I recall, the rules vary by country, but my policy is to put quotation marks outside periods and commas, and inside question marks and pretty much anything else.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-25940400459608065482008-02-22T10:59:00.000-05:002008-02-22T10:59:00.000-05:00Can we use "was" and "had", too?This begs a questi...<I>Can we use "was" and "had", too?</I><BR/><BR/>This begs a question that has bugged me for some time.<BR/><BR/>When you have a single word in quotation marks followed by a comma, does the comma go inside the quotes or outside?<BR/><BR/>I'm asking you because, well, you're you and I'm too lazy to break out a style guide.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-90819243757039513342008-02-22T10:45:00.000-05:002008-02-22T10:45:00.000-05:00Like the very best sequinned dogwear, similes shou...Like the very best sequinned dogwear, similes should enhance, not smother, the beauty of their subject - especially if the dog in question is a pack of hyenas.<BR/><BR/>Sound advice, EE.<BR/><BR/>I'd rather be apt in the final analysis than capped at the outset by paralysis.Whirlochrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09846196906206886945noreply@blogger.com