tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post3351764334973142818..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 1338Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-70630674212582801372017-01-07T00:21:20.693-05:002017-01-07T00:21:20.693-05:00This would be way more exciting if you made it abo...This would be way more exciting if you made it about Aiden's pursuit of Jessica: the human he can't have. Of course an elf is superior to a human, but there's something that draws Aiden to her. What would he give to be with her? etc<br /><br />If a guy tried to convince me he was bad for me, I'd probably agree, but if I knew he was bad for me and rejected him, he'd probably want me more. I'm dealing with this personally right now and it's terribly annoying. Make Aiden an annoyance.CavalierdeNuithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09862976676163347369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-89505730401449528482016-12-26T09:00:54.877-05:002016-12-26T09:00:54.877-05:00I wouldn't even say that much. Maintain absol...I wouldn't even say that much. Maintain absolute silence on the former - agent front until or unless they ask. THEN use the amicably parted line. Don't tell your new agent the real story till at least 12 months after your first six-figure deal.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-21352068359800999962016-12-24T16:23:57.711-05:002016-12-24T16:23:57.711-05:00Hey author! You don't need to use query space ...Hey author! You don't need to use query space to explain the split with your agent. You can just say you've "amicably parted ways" and leave the details for the phone convo (if the agent asks--they often don't).<br /><br />:)Chelsea P.https://www.blogger.com/profile/05640616327350485458noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-62011792998740448022016-12-23T11:52:20.275-05:002016-12-23T11:52:20.275-05:00Thank you Evil Editor and all who commented. This ...Thank you Evil Editor and all who commented. This is exactly what I needed. I was trying to keep it short to leave room to discuss bio and writing credential stuff (and to explain why I'm leaving my current agent that handles my other genres) and I could tell something was missing from the actual query part but couldn't figure out what. Currently revising to add some of the PLOT to the query :) Thanks!<br />- AuthorAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-10854385993648171552016-12-20T18:43:15.704-05:002016-12-20T18:43:15.704-05:00I'm interested to know why Aiden falls for Jes...I'm interested to know why Aiden falls for Jessica. She is, by all accounts, very ordinary, and happy to stay that way until she meets him. I know why she's drawn to him--passion, power, mystery, his elfish charm. But what about her would prompt him to give up a kingdom? And are we certain there isn't a way around that? (For example, once he's king of the elves, can't he change the rules about who he can marry?)<br /><br />Also, does the story alternate between POVs (and between the human and elf worlds)?<br /><br />These are the questions the query inspired for me. I agree that it's well-written, but I do think we need to know what sets it apart from other stories of this type (ordinary girl gets swept into extraordinary world by hot, mysterious guy). I think some more details would help us understand that. <br /><br />:)Chelsea P.https://www.blogger.com/profile/05640616327350485458noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-25839377189347162852016-12-20T10:07:48.189-05:002016-12-20T10:07:48.189-05:00In over 250 words, there is nothing about what hap...In over 250 words, there is nothing about what happens in the book. This reads like three proposed back-cover blurbs and they all say the same thing: <i>Jessica and Aiden, two college students, fall in love only Aiden is king of the elves.</i><br /><br />Looks like Jessica is the MC. Then what does she want or need in this story. (We don’t care what she wanted before meeting Aiden.) Then who or what is blocking her from whatever it is she wants—which we don’t know? What choice must she make? What are the risks either way? Mister Furkleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07156977719916770984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-10888862898312167592016-12-19T15:06:46.632-05:002016-12-19T15:06:46.632-05:00Since all the author has said is that she has the ...Since all the author has said is that she has the hots for him bad enough to be ignoring all common sense, I didn't think it would be an issue with her, but I suppose it's possible.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-65505160548109100502016-12-19T14:21:40.149-05:002016-12-19T14:21:40.149-05:00Maybe Jessica wouldn't want to be his human lo...Maybe Jessica wouldn't <i>want</i> to be his human lover on the side. Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-6945314293287208342016-12-19T14:18:50.325-05:002016-12-19T14:18:50.325-05:00Might help to add a bit about whether or not elves...Might help to add a bit about whether or not elves are commonly known as such in this world. If not, what is one who is theoretically being trained to be a king doing in an average college? And since when are kings particular about marrying? Is there some reason he can't just have a human lover on the side?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-83695057442051384992016-12-19T13:33:51.101-05:002016-12-19T13:33:51.101-05:00Reading this made me think, "Sounds like Twil...Reading this made me think, "Sounds like Twilight with an elf." Hopefully this isn't the case, so that's another good reason to go into more specifics with the plot.InevitablePlotTwistnoreply@blogger.com