tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post3104533555453780510..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 629Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-27640376957974855072009-05-07T12:26:00.000-04:002009-05-07T12:26:00.000-04:00So I know that since the blog has moved on to the ...So I know that since the blog has moved on to the next day's work this will not get seen by many eyes which is probably for the best 'cause I'm feeling humble and grateful and (ugh!) gushy.<br /><br />People, thank you! <br /><br />This has all been more helpful than you can imagine. Sarah I am especially grateful for the details you were able to share. The links 150 and anonymous sent look great. In fact, I pulled something I could use out of almost every comment on the list. Buffy, I'm hearing ya girl. I'll work on it.<br /><br />Dearest minions, I don't think I really understood until today what a truly valuable asset you all are. I hope I can be of some service, as well.<br /><br />EE, I've noticed more success stories are being posted these days. You are doing good work (and you can't even put your name on it). Thank you for your commitment to the art and to developing the savages.wendynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-40556259751768604752009-05-07T09:27:00.000-04:002009-05-07T09:27:00.000-04:00High school meets West Wing conveys absolutely not...High school meets West Wing conveys absolutely nothing to me. This could be because, although I have watched WW, I never went to a US high school. Or it could be that it sets up a disassocation rather than an association of ideas. It sounds more like a group of high school kids going to meet POTUS than anything else.<br /><br />(The opposite of) 90210 meets 24?nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-13930312159938730722009-05-07T08:10:00.000-04:002009-05-07T08:10:00.000-04:00I got Khazar Khum's GTP just now...nice work! :D
N...I got Khazar Khum's GTP just now...nice work! :D<br />Nothing much useful to say about Wendy's query though sorry.Neellocnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-48956480439976139452009-05-07T04:26:00.000-04:002009-05-07T04:26:00.000-04:00Gutterball--the song is actually "Pepper"...Gutterball--the song is actually "Pepper". And that rhyme scheme is much tougher than it sounds while they're singing.<br /><br />My Hollywood experience is more from the craft side (costume). But I can say that people in charge are even less aware of what works and why than are the folks in publishing. Quality & mediocrity are accidental byproducts. <br /><br />You absolutely must have an agent. No two ways about it. Indy film people might look at an unagented script, but no one in TV will.Khazar-khumnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-65634552369026241032009-05-06T23:03:00.000-04:002009-05-06T23:03:00.000-04:00By posting a query, aren't we agreeing to take cri...By posting a query, aren't we agreeing to take criticism of all types? Are you the same "Wendy" who commented on another query earlier: "I spaced out somewhere in the first paragraph...Truth is; I couldn't wade through the query letter, sorry."? If you dish it out, you have to be willing to take it, too. I don't agree with anonymous #1, but he or she does have the right to express an opinion, right? <br /><br />BTW, I think the query would be more interesting if we knew the final outcome. The premise is interesting.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-78628894671363446312009-05-06T21:21:00.000-04:002009-05-06T21:21:00.000-04:00Wendy,
It might have been the influence of the GT...Wendy,<br /><br />It might have been the influence of the GTP and EE's comments, but I got the impression that the impending white supremacist attack was the primary drama of the story. Because of that, this line: "The real threat to everyone -- is the education the kids aren't getting." seemed terribly anti-climactic, moreso with the '--'.<br /><br />There are a lot of good tips here already. I'll second that what needs doing is to <I>show</I> how Josh discovers what he discovers. Concrete examples are ideal (but be careful about adding too many characters to a query).<br /><br />And if the kids' education, and the administration's mismanagement, is the real story, then the query should be focused on that; the impending attack should be played down or dropped.<br /><br />Hope that's helpful.Adam Heinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02225813532455467868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-48707392947001928742009-05-06T20:46:00.000-04:002009-05-06T20:46:00.000-04:00Phoenix, I love you! For real girl.Phoenix, I love you! For real girl.wendynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-11269384942408444242009-05-06T20:16:00.000-04:002009-05-06T20:16:00.000-04:00I went to a really good TV writing workshop a few ...I went to a really good TV writing workshop a few weeks ago from Chad Gervich, who wrote <I>Seven Steps to Selling Your Show</I>. Some of my notes:<br /><br /><I>Anything can happen, but be aware it is harder for writers to break into TV with original shows unless they have experience producing. Studios look for showrunners: writer/producers who can handle being a CEO of a 150 person, $50 million company. <br /><br />A full pitch should have the following elements:<br />1. The hook - the emotional introduction<br />2. Logline - the one sentence nutshell<br />3. Synopsis - a one paragraph overview<br />4. Summary - a page on what the show is about, where it's going, how the characters will interact which leads into...<br />5. Characters - thumbnail sketches of your leads<br />6. The pilot outline<br />7. Premises for 5 or 6 sample episodes </I>The speaker didn't say anything about query letters, so I guess it would be elements 1, 2, 5 and maybe 6. At any rate, I would focus more on the show overview rather than on the pilot.<br /><br />Good luck!Sarah from Hawthornenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-40758849542976889132009-05-06T19:32:00.000-04:002009-05-06T19:32:00.000-04:00Hi Wendy:
I can provide a tiny bit of insight wit...Hi Wendy:<br /><br />I can provide a tiny bit of insight with the caveat that my industry experience as an assistant at a Hollywood agency where I did first reads of scripts was 20+ years ago. Things have probably changed. A lot. So take the shoulds and needs with the proverbial grain.<br /><br />First, you need a log line that includes the X meets Y reference. That should always be how you lead, whether in a written query or oral pitch. Your log line should be one, maybe two sentences that summarize your premise in an exciting manner.<br /><br />Then let us know the story arc. This can be just for the first season, but it needs to be more than just the pilot. You need to demonstrate the overall premise can be sustained. TV writing is also choppier than a leisurely novel. If your query wanders, the reader will think your story and scripts will wander. In addition, attitude counts. Declaritive sentences carry more authority and, by inference, more credibility.<br /><br />Ditch your entire bio paragraph -- if you haven't written produced scripts, then no one cares. Use the space to name your audience and include a few additional recurring characters.<br /><br />Attach your treatment.<br /><br />Hollywood is tough. You have to work in the biz or know people to have a real shot at getting a series produced. Everything is sold on ideas and ideas are plentiful. No one's going to invest in you or anyone else if you haven't already proven yourself in some capacity. It's like needing platform for nonfiction. But hey, there's no harm trying, right?! Go for it!<br /><br />I think a few more specifics that make for at least one tense moment would go a long way, but maybe the following will help?<br /><br /><I>High school meets "West Wing" when vice-principal Josh Gregory decides to buck the administration and fight for the one thing his kids aren't getting: an education.<br /><br />Test scores are falling, the District office is playing the PR game, and the kids are riding a wave of apathy that will dog them the rest of their lives. A disillusioned Josh is ready to walk out when a rumored attack by white supremacists pits him, his staff and a handful of displaced students against a school board shackled by ineffectual policy. <br /><br />The crisis reminds Josh of the idealism that once fired his soul and pushed him into this profession. It forces him to see that the real threat to students isn't drugs or terrorism -- it's the lack of meaningful education. In Academics, a 1-hour series drama, Josh will go the distance to ensure his students learn what it takes to survive in a world that cares more about protocol than people. And he'll change lives, one student at a time.<br /><br />Targeted to young adults, Academics' first season will focus on a core group of seven students inspired by Josh to overcome addictions, face up to abusers, and find the compassion within themselves to help others. <br /><br />The treatment is attached. I look forward to sending you the script for the pilot episode.</I>Phoenix Sullivanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03290349031002504007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-59690683274969383852009-05-06T19:29:00.000-04:002009-05-06T19:29:00.000-04:00try the Raindance writer's lab by Elliot Grove.try the Raindance writer's lab by Elliot Grove.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-72833779541966367142009-05-06T19:01:00.000-04:002009-05-06T19:01:00.000-04:00Thank you all for your assistance. I will comb thr...Thank you all for your assistance. I will comb through it carefully.<br /><br />If you are interested in the full story there is a treatment for the show on my website: www.wendymeyers.com<br /><br />Last week I was asked by a producer friend to write a short "query like" piece that could be used to sell the show. After 8 hours of writing (The query EE posted.) this is all I could come up with. This has really been the most difficult part of the entire process. <br /><br />However, because I knew exactly where to go to get help I'm sure it will soon be much improved. Thanks for coming through again minions!wendynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-14110780625774268312009-05-06T18:10:00.000-04:002009-05-06T18:10:00.000-04:00Film and TV scripts are submitted through agents w...Film and TV scripts are submitted through agents who handle film and TV scripts. Not many literary agents do both, but there are big agencies that handle everything in the entertainment field.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-4676961644370004602009-05-06T18:06:00.000-04:002009-05-06T18:06:00.000-04:00The one think I know about the "TV biz" is that yo...The one think I know about the "TV biz" is that you ABSOLUTELY CANNOT get someone to read your script proposal unless it comes through an agent. The reason for this is the number of (usually) frivolous lawsuits filed against studios claiming that successful movies were based on ideas "stolen" from their unaccepted scripts. (As far as I know, the only person to win such a suit was Art Buchwald, and that was because they DID swipe his idea; but even invalid suits take time and money.)<br /><br />As for the script itself, the plight of falling test scores is not in itself DRAMATIC. You need to have a core cast of characters and more exciting situations: the basketball star who cheats on his exam; the drama teacher who is having an affair with one of her students; the math teacher who accepts bribes for good grades; the teen who is suicidal because of the pressure his parents are putting on him to get into Harvard or Yale, and the like.talpiannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13978075304795724185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-91103042928267392042009-05-06T18:04:00.000-04:002009-05-06T18:04:00.000-04:00I knew a lot of people in situation #1 in the 'gue...I knew a lot of people in situation #1 in the 'guess the plots'. They were the fun guys who are now managing departments in auto stores and countercultural weird shops, but hey. It was good while it lasted, I supposed.Robin B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/11471528485010071521noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-88098848041707320432009-05-06T17:18:00.000-04:002009-05-06T17:18:00.000-04:00It's funny hearing people say "I don't think this ...It's funny hearing people say "I don't think this is how the TV biz works . . . not that I have any idea how it works". I'm assuming the author did some research into the business before writing this, and if she didn't, she will. As book writers, I'm sure people have gotten sick of hearing "Unless you're Stephen King or the next J.K. Rowling, maybe you should just give up and go back to cleaning toilets." I mean, is that why people come to this site? To be told to quit?<br /><br />Anyway. The query gave me a sense of the premise for the show, but, like Buffy, I would love to hear about more characters. I'd also love a bit more on what actually happens, rather than just reading what Josh realizes. I think you have a good basis though, and if you can take out some of the vague parts and put in some specifics it will help a lot :)<br /><br />One side note: the conflict centers around the white supremacist threat, so the mention of Muslim terrorists sort of comes out of nowhere. I know Muslim terrorism has been a media favorite in the past few years, but I don't feel it necessarily adds to the query if there's not anything about Muslim terrorist threats IN the show.Chelsea Pitcherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16301150715189103602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-39235657775497205432009-05-06T17:13:00.000-04:002009-05-06T17:13:00.000-04:00I didn't say you didn't have a clue, i said you so...I didn't say you didn't have a clue, i said you sounded a bit clueless -- basically an invitation to maybe adjust your phrasing to something that sounds a bit more savvy. or don't, as you see fit.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-13517468488245297482009-05-06T17:02:00.000-04:002009-05-06T17:02:00.000-04:00This might help: http://www.tvwritersvault.com/cre...This might help: http://www.tvwritersvault.com/creating/creatingLoglines.asp<br /><br />Right now I can't envision a logline for this. I don't quite see where West Wing and high school intersect. It might help to clarify whether the white supremacists are elements of the pilot episode or the season arc.<br /><br />I genuinely am curious whether the process for pitching a TV series is to query agents about it. Do you have a link or something to pass along? I'd love to read more about it.150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-4167731105377352892009-05-06T15:44:00.000-04:002009-05-06T15:44:00.000-04:00#5 is awesome. It's got a kind of "Avalanche" feel...#5 is awesome. It's got a kind of "Avalanche" feel to it. I can almost hear the ol' Surfers giving it a go. Heh, instant hit, man.<br /><br />As for the query itself, does the process even work the same way for TV shows as for books? Huh.<br /><br />TV is a scary place to be these days. If you're not a sitcom or a reality TV show, it's nearly impossible to get any play. Just ask Joss Whedon about his like 5 different shows that have been awesome...and summarily cancelled.<br /><br />Unless you've got something highly marketable, I can't imagine any station ponying up the dough for a one-hour drama. Maybe for a mini-series or a TV movie, but if it's not a season long, it's pretty much gotta be guaranteed gold -- ie., have someone incredibly famous in it or some such. The plot alone won't win this one for you, which is why I'm not sure querying is the way to go.<br /><br />Unfortunately, I don't have any other suggestions because I don't know how it works, either. Sorry!GutterBallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17943760313844692975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-63669262171511339832009-05-06T15:43:00.000-04:002009-05-06T15:43:00.000-04:00How did "West Wing" end up in there? Except for t...How did "West Wing" end up in there? Except for the part about white supremacists. But even that was only a few episodes. Seriously, the reference damaged the query, because I got bogged down looking to understand the "West Wing" comment, and it made everything -- like your plot and main character -- else seem like a waste of query space. That's not good.Kelsey (Dominique) Ridgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10646757546422013401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-30022258886912852962009-05-06T15:33:00.000-04:002009-05-06T15:33:00.000-04:00Thanks for your ideas. Please keep them coming.
F...Thanks for your ideas. Please keep them coming.<br /><br />FYI - <br />This is a series and I am describing the pilot episode. One of the more challenging aspects of this type of query is that one must sell a description of an entire series along with a description of the pilot in as few words as possible. I took for granted the person receiving the letter would understand the premise. That may be a mistake. <br /><br />EE, very helpful and insightful comments (as usual). I will incorporate.<br /><br />And hey, Anonymous...if you are going to be belligerent enough to tell me I don't have "a clue" about the biz, you should at least have the integrity (balls) to put your name on the comment. My name is Wendy Meyers and I stand firmly behind every stupid thing I've ever said. So, unless you're in the "biz" and require anonymity to participate - shut up or put up friend.<br /><br />I hope some of you that that are lurking will consider offering your opinions. I could really use the help. Thanks!wendynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-24552996459148259392009-05-06T15:24:00.000-04:002009-05-06T15:24:00.000-04:00This doesn't seem focused enough for a one or a tw...This doesn't seem focused enough for a one or a two hour drama. <br /><br />Are we focusing on one day? Or are we focusing on several weeks/months worth of events? Is this a weekly series or is it a stand-alone movie? <br /><br />All of that would make a difference to the producer or star or director who reads the query.<br /><br />I don't have a problem with some of the plot points but they are jumbled together.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-51749311104891589372009-05-06T15:10:00.000-04:002009-05-06T15:10:00.000-04:00Ok, I like the overwhelming attack of common sense...Ok, I like the overwhelming attack of common sense, but the rest of that sentence feels like the verbal equivalent of paper mulch.<br /><br />So… what do they do? I really did like the arming idea… the kids taking it into their own hands always makes things fun, especially if children are your target audience…which they probably aren’t.L Please give me something spicy about this drama.<br /><br />Shouldn’t you just list what you’ve published, not written? I’ve written a lot, and the only things I feel justified bragging about are my wins and meeting 50K for NaNoWriMo.<br /><br />I’m not so sure about the use of that word; I’d call it a curse word. For me, a no-no—for others, more likely a no-no if your audience is children. What would your students say if they heard that word?_*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-80594559728662686352009-05-06T15:01:00.000-04:002009-05-06T15:01:00.000-04:00Is this really how the TV industry works?Is this really how the TV industry works?150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-80405735798768914762009-05-06T13:08:00.000-04:002009-05-06T13:08:00.000-04:00This probably needs more than one character.This probably needs more than one character.nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-3051451745097040232009-05-06T12:59:00.000-04:002009-05-06T12:59:00.000-04:00What EE said. you sound a bit clueless about the ...What EE said. you sound a bit clueless about the TV biz. Also nobody should ever know the true count of your trunk novels and unsold screenplays. Just use the query to pitch the one you're pitching and leave off mentioning the others. If anybody wants to know about your priors, they'll ask.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com