tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post2849852866000016462..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 842Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-22249660510030944552010-11-18T20:50:41.927-05:002010-11-18T20:50:41.927-05:00Dear Evil Editor and minions
Man, this query writ...Dear Evil Editor and minions<br /><br />Man, this query writing caper is hard work! Typing over short distances, my brain and typing muscles always seem to tighten up and I gape in horror at my overloaded, awkward sentences. A good mauling was just what I needed!<br /><br />The length, style and content of this story seemed to fall exactly between MG and YA, but I had the feeling the descriptive word ‘Tween’ had passed its use-by date. Still, MG clearly gets the vote here.<br /><br />BuffySquirrel, the prince’s human smell is indeed a major plot point. PT daily douses himself in rancid seaweeed and offal to disguise his natural odour, then claims to have eaten human rissoles for breakfast when the more olfactory-enhanced monsters still become suspicious. Finally, when he is stabbed in a playground fight, the stench of human blood beneath his swamp monster suit cannot be denied and he is busted.<br /><br />Yes, the tax collector quest (and the whole urban monster setting) was an attempt to subvert the standard medieval, sword-wielding tropes usually associated with dragons, elves and goblins. The story is written straight, but hopefully there are a lot of humorous set-pieces and dialogue in the novel (which clearly I have managed to avoid altogether in my query).<br /><br />I thank you all for your alternately insightful, mirthful and thought-provoking feedback!DC Greenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04769989982575828316noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-38481425995594659832010-11-18T15:27:40.531-05:002010-11-18T15:27:40.531-05:00It's at times like this that my brain wanders ...It's at times like this that my brain wanders off in strange directions. How come none of these monsters can smell that he's not what he appears?nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-58273020280950169022010-11-17T21:58:14.280-05:002010-11-17T21:58:14.280-05:00I agree that this is MG, not YA.I agree that this is MG, not YA.St0n3hengehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08504412781917592790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-16349769088176088122010-11-17T21:47:11.334-05:002010-11-17T21:47:11.334-05:00I know an Aussie who snagged a US agent for a nove...I know an Aussie who snagged a US agent for a novel set in Australia, so I don't find it odd at all that the author here is pitching Yanks.<br /><br /><i>Cue music for "It's a Small, Small World"...</i><br /><br />I don't have much to add to the query discussion. What EE said and, yes, voice and situation as described in the query all point to MG. In fact, scaling the MC's age down a couple of years would seem to fit the age bracket better.Phoenix Sullivanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03290349031002504007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-69223052149525586432010-11-17T17:52:19.138-05:002010-11-17T17:52:19.138-05:00This *certainly* is not YA. Something must have be...This *certainly* is not YA. Something must have been lost in the "translation" between continents. It's MG.<br /><br />Impressive credentials. I have to say though that before seeing them I wasn't that impressed with the writing in the query. EE caught most of them and I thought the rewrite of the 3rd paragraph is brilliant.<br /><br />Also consider editing "After all, when Thomas turns eighteen in three years, he will become the titular ruler of Monstro City’s four million monsters."<br /><br />- First the "turns eighteen in three years" is awkward. "in three years when Thomas turns eighteen" is better but the "in three years" doesn't feel right here.<br /><br />- Next, maybe it's used more in the UK but I wouldn't consider titular a term MG (or even YA) would be familiar with. Moreover, since PT is the MC of this story, expressing it that way is demeaning. I don't think Charles aspires to be the titular leader of England any more than college athletes aspire to someday be former professional athletes... better as "becomes King--albeit a powerless one--of...<br /><br />Most other stuff is covered. I like the idea of the kid wearing a costume to get befriended by the monsters. Even better if he can forge a relationship with them as a human (which I imagine your last paragraph alludes to). Just don't think that because your MC is 15 that this is going to be a book read by 15/16/17/18/19 year olds in the US.Stephen Prosapiohttp://www.prosapio.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-63401762118180765502010-11-17T16:35:48.219-05:002010-11-17T16:35:48.219-05:00Arhooley, you look so much like my former sister-i...Arhooley, you look so much like my former sister-in-law that I had to google your monicker to see if you were her. You're not, but you're very funny. <br /><br /><i>I'm kind of more interested in why an Australlian author is querying us Yankees than the story.</i><br /><br />Vkw, my guess would be there are more of us, so that when we buy books we spend more money. The Brits like us for that too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-48107798699953643472010-11-17T14:38:36.911-05:002010-11-17T14:38:36.911-05:00Googling "surfing's literary giant" ...Googling "surfing's literary giant" brought me to...this blog. You know what they say: if you have to tell me what you are, you're probably not.<br /><br />Better tell what award you've won, or I'll assume it's not one that counts.<br /><br />You'll probably get page requests on creds alone, but it wouldn't hurt to make the query funnier.150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-22130381645873702672010-11-17T14:26:56.848-05:002010-11-17T14:26:56.848-05:00arhooley, that is priceless: (This is the first ti...arhooley, that is priceless: (This is the first time I've read a story in which the tax collector is the good guy.)<br /><br />I'm almost interested in re-writing Robin Hood from the Sheriff's POV. <br /><br />It could even be a writing excercise. <br /><br />Author: I'm not interested in MG, and this does sound more MG than YA, right down to the 42,000 word count. <br /><br />I'm kind of more interested in why an Australlian author is querying us Yankees than the story. <br /><br />What if someone wrote an entire series on the concept of making the traditional bad guys the good guys? Suddenly, the vampires are bad again, werewolves eat people they don't fall in love with people, (like I will never fall in love with a cow), tax collectors are good, wolves are good, those that want to take over the world are awesome, indians are bad, oil companies are awesome, the aliens are good. . . . I foresee a series of . . . THREE.vkwnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-74807824813518803952010-11-17T13:59:40.961-05:002010-11-17T13:59:40.961-05:00"Also, a socially challenged zombie."
ha...<i>"Also, a socially challenged zombie."</i><br />had me giggling over my sandwich.<br /><br />BUT -- <i>(This is the first time I've read a story in which the tax collector is the good guy.) </i> <br />-- leaves me incredulous. Surely you jest!<br /><br />As for the query, I like this. It's high school trauma and teen angst with monsters. <br /><br />If this is a fun comedy like Scott Pilgrim or JUNO or "I love you Beth Cooper." If it is, brighten up the query and make Prince Thomas fun. <br /><br />If this is a more serious story like "Hunger Games" then make Prince Thomas into a teen hero like Katniss. <br /><br />In either case, it is Prince Thomas the reader is going to fall in love with and keep reading.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-60138537266001890652010-11-17T13:07:26.212-05:002010-11-17T13:07:26.212-05:00Author, as a writer of your experience knows, &quo...Author, as a writer of your experience knows, "after all" is a logical connector that explains the conclusion or decision or admonition or resolution just stated. E.g. "Don't count on him for any mercy. After all, he's an editor." But your "after all" doesn't explain anything. I can see why Thomas would be frustrated with his education, but his future as a titular ruler actually makes his education seem kind of reasonable rather than otherwise.<br /><br />And yuck, what a lousy kingdom. The Central School has speciesist murderous gangs, the government is a moribund hereditary monarchy, the ruling family is bankrupt and means to stay afloat by levying a hard-working dragon instead of doing something productive. (This is the first time I've read a story in which the tax collector is the good guy.) I'm not really behind anyone here. I think the whole kingdom needs a good cleaning.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-18271628277518839862010-11-17T11:57:22.636-05:002010-11-17T11:57:22.636-05:00I'm agreeing with EE that there's nothing ...I'm agreeing with EE that there's nothing in here saying YA, and a lot saying MG...why do you think it's YA?Marissa Doylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11248406475808085694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-63303449105289406522010-11-17T11:10:03.850-05:002010-11-17T11:10:03.850-05:00Maybe its because the wind is blowing like crazy o...Maybe its because the wind is blowing like crazy outside and distracting me, but my eyes were glazing over by the end of paragraph 1, so I skipped to near the end to see where we were going with this and decide whether to bother with the middle part, but that paragraph was inexplicably about surfing and airfares you couldn't afford and I thought WTF??? How does that follow?? Which would've meant the slush pile for you, if I was an agent's minion. The very last paragraph, in which you are publishing children's stories down under almost convinced me it would be worthwhile to go back and read the middle of the query, but then I noticed this is only the first of whatever length series and gave up.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-56666486602267784682010-11-17T10:21:25.017-05:002010-11-17T10:21:25.017-05:00Those are impressive credentials. I'd list all...Those are impressive credentials. I'd list all titles, publishers and dates (unless the dates are, like, 1960). In my experience, what publishers really want to know when considering a previously published author is <i>sales figures</i>. And they'll look those up.<br /><br />I think the idea is really interesting, and I agree with all of EE's comments, but for me there's another problem, common in all struggle-to-get-or-hold-the-throne stories.<br /><br />Is there a reason that Prince Thomas should win, other than that he thinks he should? <br /><br />I can see a clear case for the City of Monsters being ruled by monsters.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com