tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post279623647708152751..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Feedback RequestEvil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-6805363798102274872019-03-06T17:59:03.982-05:002019-03-06T17:59:03.982-05:00Hey author. I like most everything after she's...Hey author. I like most everything after she's kidnapped. The beginning still feels a bit bogged down in setup - but that could be my personal preference. I really like queries that start with the main character doing something rather than just being something.<br /><br />Little quibbles that I think weaken the query:<br />* The contradiction between wanting to spend life in space and being determined to get back home is confusing. <br />* Two sentences ending with "America" feel like dull word use rather than a trick for emphasis.<br />* The intergalactic stuff doesn't seem connected to the plot.<br /><br /><br />In the 22nd century, billionaire's daughter Mea Gwen is just starting Intragalactic Pioneer training when she's kidnapped by the Reformers, a terrorist group led by the creators of an annoyingly popular virtual reality game. To prove that the elite aren’t untouchable, the Reformers force the richest of the rich to compete in their newest game, and the only way to survive is to win. <br /><br />Of course Mea's determined to survive. But when she makes it through level one, she realizes that the Reformers are being exploited for a larger political conspiracy, and the end game is authoritarian control of 900 million Americans. Level two could start a war that would break an already divided country. <br /><br />If Mea plays the way she's supposed to, she can save herself. But her space travel smarts could help her hack the game. Should Mea risk breaking the rules - and losing her life - to expose who’s really out to destroy America? tknoreply@blogger.com