tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post2785546663558642411..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 1363Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-92003122716417070112017-10-19T02:44:30.697-04:002017-10-19T02:44:30.697-04:00Thank you.
Love the feedback
PaulaThank you.<br /><br />Love the feedback<br /><br />PaulaAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09727929710077335691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-86518288100941470562017-10-18T07:12:15.152-04:002017-10-18T07:12:15.152-04:00The title sounds like it is non fiction and readin...The title sounds like it is non fiction and reading through the query I wondered if it were a biography rather than a fiction piece. If it is a biography, then I think the querying process is quite different.<br /><br />I empathize with Paul/Paula's situation but as others have stated, a query needs to hook the reader in. At the moment the premise is clear - it's about the difficulties that a transgendered person faces in his/her life. But that's not enough for a plot.<br /><br />Author, you're fortunate that editors/ agents are seeking this type of fiction. Don't blow it - follow EE's advice (the good man knows what he's talking about)and refine the query.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-59686612276463026062017-10-16T20:24:09.062-04:002017-10-16T20:24:09.062-04:00I believe part of the confusion is that it isn'...I believe part of the confusion is that it isn't written in first person. Generally, you're not supposed to do that in queries, but that's a rule that applies mostly to fiction. This seems to be an actual autobiography but it's written with such narrative distance it sounds too psychologically removed from the source material.<br /><br />If this is a real autobiography it needs to be written with more immediacy. I'll give you an example.<br />Three years ago, my brother took his life in prison. It was the end of a long, arduous confinement that began when he was seventeen. I saw him just a few weeks before his suicide. The mentally ill, pale and physically exhausted man with angry red scars on his wrists resembled my brother almost as little as the black plastic box of ashes with his name on it that I carried out the mortuary. I realized I'd lost my brother a long time ago.<br /><br />I could tell you all about it but it would be extremely painful. What you've written sounds like someone who is writing a newspaper article about the new Mayor of a small town. Conversational and almost bored.<br /><br />It just doesn't work with the material. Is this an autobiography? If it is, you're going to have to get closer to the pain. If not, you're not selling me on this story being raw and real. It isn't meaningful if I can't get close.St0n3hengehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08504412781917592790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-84523351144780446552017-10-16T16:13:40.172-04:002017-10-16T16:13:40.172-04:00I admit that I am hopelessly confused by what you ...I admit that I am hopelessly confused by what you are trying to say. If you want to do a book on someone going through the process, fine. But as others here have said, don't turn it into a Heavy Message one, like those Godawful 'NOW!' novels about Today's Issues they shoved down our throats when I was growing up. I'm still scarred by those horrors.khazarkhumnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-36815736270291178272017-10-16T13:14:54.847-04:002017-10-16T13:14:54.847-04:00The confusion people are feeling here probably has...The confusion people are feeling here probably has something to do with the writing being... not as good as it could be. State clearly what you want to say.<br /><br />And, as Samuel Goldwyn said, if you've got a message, send a telegram. By which he meant that fiction should tell a story, not teach a lesson.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-70321687129469107772017-10-15T22:51:53.594-04:002017-10-15T22:51:53.594-04:00The only transgender people I know have (from very...The only transgender people I know have (from very early ages) known that they are the "other" sex from what their bodies are. <br /><br />The one I witnessed go through Gender Reassignment Surgery told people that from the age of three or four he considered himself a girl and because his body was masculine, he tried to become that man. He was a married with children, a cave-diver, a marine, did lots of hyper-masculine things, but at some point, he ceased to believe that his gender matched his body. Last time I saw her, she was a quite attractive lady. <br />And for those out there with no personal experience, no person is happier than the person who transitioned to become wheat their minds always said they were and their bodies did not agree. It's a success like nothing I've seen with heterosexual people. <br /><br />If this is about a dystopia or some alternate society where babies are assigned gender regardless of the genital equipment then i can see how that works in your story. <br />If this is set in the USA where some parents raised a boy as a girl for 7 or 8 years (or more, possibly) and then sent the child to school without having given the child some coping mechanism for that opposite gender years, then I'm not quite sure how this query describes that. <br /><br />I do know the argument that "transgendered people are not fit parents" and I think that argument is political garbage. It is however, believed by a segment of the population. That is also being discussed in various transgender forums. <br /><br />And that brings me to my biggest suggestion -- if you haven't already, talk to several transgender persons. You have to seek them out and earn their trust. Only then do they open up and talk. <br /><br />Good luck with the book. There is a market out there for this type of story. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />davefragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12151700370200628940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-81741880919251096562017-10-14T23:32:29.838-04:002017-10-14T23:32:29.838-04:00Sorry, this sounds like the classic After School S...Sorry, this sounds like the classic After School Special - preachy and ready to Enlighten me. Nah, I just want to read a good story. This sounds boring as heck. What does this character DO, other than obsess about gender? AMYnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-73280463653180480922017-10-14T18:47:53.946-04:002017-10-14T18:47:53.946-04:00I agree. There's a story here, but the words a...I agree. There's a story here, but the words are obscuring it more than bringing it out.<br />Start with EE's suggested edits to make it more clear. Then, re-post and we'll see what else it needs.St0n3hengehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08504412781917592790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-83356072232483174072017-10-14T09:58:34.924-04:002017-10-14T09:58:34.924-04:00It's a book I'd never read: nobody murdere...It's a book I'd never read: nobody murdered, no horses, no magic. Recognizing that, it may be a story many would like to read. Even so, the query makes it seem boring.<br /><br />The purpose of the query is to make the agent or editor to want to read pages. So, spice up the description more. Give the reader a reason to want to know about Paula and to care about her dilemma. <br /><br />It reads more like a synopsis than a query. Even an autobiography is a story.<br /><br />Mister Furkleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07156977719916770984noreply@blogger.com