tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post2637434760668223926..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 924Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-6485246110388540092011-07-07T20:26:32.584-04:002011-07-07T20:26:32.584-04:00What Alaska said - I spent most of this query worr...What Alaska said - I spent most of this query worrying about the stab wound and weren't they going to get him to a hospital? Gut wounds are filthy and even if he is walking around somehow, he's begging for rapid septicemia, not to mention leaving a blood trail any minotaur could follow. Maybe just say 'injured'? <br />On the other hand, the Greek mythology is kind of interesting, and the Percy Jackson books have paved the way in prepping young readers for stories in that line.batgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15143310557906978680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-20264330302283755822011-07-06T19:26:02.815-04:002011-07-06T19:26:02.815-04:00I'd be interested to know what the creatures a...I'd be interested to know what the creatures are and how you link this modern character / setting to the ol' mythical world. It's easy to pop them in, but difficult to make it all seem congruous.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-36052367176449016562011-07-06T15:58:45.317-04:002011-07-06T15:58:45.317-04:00I think the story sounds interesting. Just work on...I think the story sounds interesting. Just work on the query to show that more clearly.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-76860955328497744492011-07-06T15:14:37.209-04:002011-07-06T15:14:37.209-04:00Danielle must ask Chris, Jamie’s best friend and h...<i>Danielle must ask Chris, Jamie’s best friend and her best enemy, for help in destroying the curse.</i><br /><br />Why doesn't she call 911? Even a B or C student should get that.<br /><br />Also, what is Chris's gender? Is he the Cute Boy of dubious intent? Knowing would give a reader a better idea of the interplay between characters and what this story "looks" like.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-82676398250368545782011-07-06T13:03:49.105-04:002011-07-06T13:03:49.105-04:00Once you've stabbed a character in the gut, yo...Once you've stabbed a character in the gut, you've got the reader's attention. But you've also <i>focused</i> the reader's attention.<br /><br />It's rather like it would be in real life. If someone gets stabbed in the gut people tend to drop what they were doing. The general focus of activity becomes not letting the victim die.<br /><br />But in your query, you take a sudden left turn to minotaurs and labyrinths. It probably makes sense in your manuscript, but from here it's hard to understand why there's time for all this other stuff and why Jamie isn't already dead.AlaskaRavenclawnoreply@blogger.com