tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post1615079977073894610..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 573Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-48993408576504456922008-10-11T10:15:00.000-04:002008-10-11T10:15:00.000-04:00tal, that's a great story. big fan of heinlein's....tal, that's a great story. big fan of heinlein's. <BR/><BR/>i'm more confused about the story of "damage control" now than when we started.EBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14361825595951678685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-55347908136641230182008-10-10T23:24:00.000-04:002008-10-10T23:24:00.000-04:00The opposite to time travelers? Something like a ...The opposite to time travelers? Something like a super couch potato?<BR/><BR/>The best time-travel novel I ever read was TIME PIPER by Delia Huddy.<BR/><BR/>The best EVER is Heinlein's classic short story:<BR/><BR/>"'—All You Zombies—'" chronicles a young man (later revealed to be intersex) taken back in time and tricked into impregnating his younger, female self (before he underwent a sex change); he thus turns out to be the offspring of that union, with the paradoxical result that he is both his own mother and father. As the story unfolds, all the major characters are revealed to be the same person, at different stages of her/his life.talpiannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13978075304795724185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-88636300895951350842008-10-10T07:55:00.000-04:002008-10-10T07:55:00.000-04:00Yeah, I gotta admit, I'd be wondering like crazy w...Yeah, I gotta admit, I'd be wondering like crazy why the bad guys didn't go back and kill her in infancy, or go back and not buy her late grandmother's house, or whatever. You don't have to explain it in the query but there should at least be something about it in the book, because I'm the sort of grump who would read it and get irritated and wonder if the author ever even <I>heard</I> of the Terminator movies, at least.Staciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07969399927758009095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-10117020544859445812008-10-10T01:43:00.000-04:002008-10-10T01:43:00.000-04:00Benwah,The reason some things are left to the seco...Benwah,<BR/><BR/>The reason some things are left to the second novel is that the first one is about time travelers, or timelinks. The second novel is about Lena coming into her own and becoming something completely different, an opposite to time travelers (which seems strange written like that but does work when written about in detail). Trying to get the audience used to timelinks, which is what Chase and his family are, is the mission of this novel. Adding in another big secret and all just seems like overkill. In this novel it is mentioned several times very subtly that there are strange things about Lena but the full idea is a novel length one and deserves to be presented as such. For this first novel though, it's sufficent enough to say that timelinks can't see her future.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-30616826734497871842008-10-10T00:46:00.000-04:002008-10-10T00:46:00.000-04:00Time travel is one of the hardest type stories to ...<I>Time travel is one of the hardest type stories to write because of the inherent paradoxes involved (you can't go back and kill your own grandfather- or can you?).</I><BR/><BR/>Well, IF, I said IF is is possible, scientists think that you can visit but not change. That what happened is invariant. That's science as it stands. <BR/><BR/>In fiction, you have to set up a set of self-consistent rules that seem logical (even if they are scientifically impossible.) There are ways to make time travel work that permit a character to kill his/her parents or grandparents. As long as you make that scenario believable to the reader. <BR/><BR/>BTW - the paradox of killing your ancestor and preventing your birth is called "causality" and it is a one theory. There are other equally as plausible and logical theories that permit what seems to be a causality violation by invoking the multiverse.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-61384918495403998162008-10-09T23:53:00.000-04:002008-10-09T23:53:00.000-04:00Time travel is one of the hardest type stories to ...Time travel is one of the hardest type stories to write because of the inherent paradoxes involved (you can't go back and kill your own grandfather- or can you?).<BR/><BR/>The basic rules need to be in the query, along with the important conflicts your protag faces. Make sure it doesn't come off as yet another *yawn* time travel story.Elissa Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10727748060605823895noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-51631299932734184942008-10-09T20:43:00.000-04:002008-10-09T20:43:00.000-04:00"And if they're having trouble killing her now, th..."And if they're having trouble killing her now, they could go back in time and kill her when she's a baby."<BR/><BR/>Yikes EE, that's creepy good.<BR/><BR/>I have a question:<BR/>Why are the time travelers "militaristic" and how does that reality play into the story?<BR/><BR/>Also I would like to hear more about daily life as a time-traveler. Do they age? Can they backup life like a Tivo when they miss something? Is his homework ever late? Are there rules to time travel. How does the "pause" button work? And so on and so on and so on...which means you must have an interesting idea here, (at least to me) because I want to know much more about it.<BR/><BR/>Good luck with the story!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-51903777851432270122008-10-09T20:22:00.000-04:002008-10-09T20:22:00.000-04:00Author, not to raise a thorny question, but why le...Author, not to raise a thorny question, but why leave things to your second book? (You yourself say "sadly.") At the very least, you should plug the plot holes that crop up in the query.EBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14361825595951678685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-71843451048541569762008-10-09T20:10:00.000-04:002008-10-09T20:10:00.000-04:00Awww--I was hoping it was #1. And in the list of ...Awww--I was hoping it was #1. And in the list of future titles, you left out PORTION CONTROL, in which Gordon Ramsay saves the world from aliens trying to destroy us with high-calorie snack foods.<BR/><BR/>I agree with the other suggestions, especially starting with EE's zinger. <BR/><BR/>The "reasonable explanations" for why some of the things can't be done need to be up front, because your readers are going to be smart enough to ask the questions. For instance, why can't they just strand her somewhere in the past--like London during the Black Death?<BR/><BR/>I'd think a modern teen would have more modern means to investigate mysterious people than trying repeatedly and ineffectively to break into a house. How about googling the people to see if they have genuine pasts or just appeared out of nowhere six months ago? Or saving up her allowance to buy spyware like cameras and microphones?<BR/><BR/>And it is SF rather than fantasy.talpiannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13978075304795724185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-34583933706024920372008-10-09T19:22:00.000-04:002008-10-09T19:22:00.000-04:00I would like to know a bit more about Lena and Cha...I would like to know a bit more about Lena and Chase's motivation. What kind of 17 year old girl cares more about mysteries than her own life? Is she naive? Is she overly self confident? Is she suicidal? And what does Chase see in her that would make him defy his family and betray their secret? Especially when that means the assassins will be coming for HIM?<BR/><BR/>Their behavior isn't out of the realm of possibility, but it is rather extreme. I'd like more detail to clarify how their actions come from their characters and not from need to advance the plot.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-85156559716802017102008-10-09T12:11:00.000-04:002008-10-09T12:11:00.000-04:00I don't think the inability to kill her as an infa...I don't think the inability to kill her as an infant will necessarily be important if you handle it appropriately. You likely need not mention it at all in the query.writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-88588691665937148072008-10-09T11:14:00.000-04:002008-10-09T11:14:00.000-04:00Thanks so much for the great feedback. I'm already...Thanks so much for the great feedback. I'm already coming up with ways to get more specfic and ditch the lines and lines of set up.<BR/><BR/>There are reasonable explanations for the society targeting her and also why they can't go back and kill her when she is a baby. Sadly, some of these things won't be revealed in the first novel but if it's a major problem, it my be worth some re-writing.<BR/><BR/>Again thanks!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-31871377406795932812008-10-09T10:51:00.000-04:002008-10-09T10:51:00.000-04:00Usually the sequels have similar titles. Possibili...<I>Usually the sequels have similar titles. Possibilities: Cruise Control, Remote Control, Arms Control, Air Traffic Control, Birth Control.</I><BR/><BR/>Love these titles for a sequel.<BR/><BR/>And WW is right. EE's line about the in-laws is a great opening.Sarah Laurensonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09252565450452195395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-41076798616987633552008-10-09T10:44:00.000-04:002008-10-09T10:44:00.000-04:00And if they're having trouble killing her now, the...And if they're having trouble killing her now, they could go back in time and kill her when she's a baby.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-87778239736386205692008-10-09T09:58:00.000-04:002008-10-09T09:58:00.000-04:00A secret militaristic society that has changed his...A secret militaristic society that has changed history targets a teenage girl for assassination. This raises a plausability problem for me. If they've succeeded in changing history, surely they can take care of a few meddling kids? <BR/><BR/>The militaristic crew might stick out in suburbia.EBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14361825595951678685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-35888322790416814042008-10-09T09:23:00.000-04:002008-10-09T09:23:00.000-04:00"She knows guys'll say anything to get a babe into..."She knows guys'll say anything to get a babe into the sack."<BR/><BR/>So, he doesn't really love me and he probably won't be calling me soon?<BR/><BR/>I'm devastated.<BR/><BR/>It's an interesting concept, but EE's suggestions are spot on.Julie Weathershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13725236516593676381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-82315705293344311902008-10-09T09:14:00.000-04:002008-10-09T09:14:00.000-04:00"Like money and sex, in-laws are often an obstacle..."Like money and sex, in-laws are often an obstacle to a couple's happiness, and never so much as when they unleash assassins targeting you."<BR/><BR/>You know, if you started with EE's line, I'd have my attention caught but good. The specifics you cite are not strong enough. We need to know what damage she does by discovering the truth and a bit about the struggle to save her life. Sounds rather hum-drum so far, so give us something that makes your paranormal romance stand out.writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.com