tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post1314160368100986961..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 886Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-22252824232581693292011-04-02T03:58:33.270-04:002011-04-02T03:58:33.270-04:00Thanks to the latest commenters - you've given...Thanks to the latest commenters - you've given me some good stuff to think about for sure.Trishahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16927558937796802496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-35830639834415799142011-04-01T16:37:11.193-04:002011-04-01T16:37:11.193-04:00The sense I'm getting from both versions of th...The sense I'm getting from both versions of the query is that Dapne Stuart is a not particularly remarkable person who is interesting solely because every single person in her life has major psychological issues. Daphne's determination to be happy and well adjusted in spite of her family history and situation sounds promising, but it's all the way at the end of the query. I feel like I need some reasons to care about Daphne, maybe some idea of what she wants out of life beyond escaping the constant tragedy of everyone around her or what traits she possesses that just might enable her to overcome the worst year ever. As is, I'm worried that the story is just going to be misery piled on top of misery and that I'll want to bail out long before Daphne has the chance to.Ink and Pixel Clubhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00023898860226517591noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-85494609316642439262011-04-01T07:56:51.148-04:002011-04-01T07:56:51.148-04:00GTP #5 is brilliant.GTP #5 is brilliant.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-64179106524970463682011-04-01T07:42:48.504-04:002011-04-01T07:42:48.504-04:00This is a tad long. A query letter is usually one ...This is a tad long. A query letter is usually one page/250 words.<br /><br /><i>Who is the protaganist?<br />What dilemma does he face?<br />How does it get resolved?<br /><br />Answer each question in less than 25 words. That's the skeleton for a good query letter. It may not be your finished version, but it will give you the bone structure you need.</i><br /><br />Courtesy of Miss Snark. I'd also add "What's at stake?"Xenithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15550985137843901009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-76870378092959632922011-04-01T03:17:11.341-04:002011-04-01T03:17:11.341-04:00Yes, it's up on FictionPress, an early version...Yes, it's up on FictionPress, an early version, and I intend to take it down :D I've been working at taking other stuff down on there already.<br /><br />Thanks for the comments so far. ;) Much appreciated!Trishahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16927558937796802496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-87422353718948870802011-04-01T02:03:05.364-04:002011-04-01T02:03:05.364-04:00"In short, Daphne’s problems aren’t so specia..."In short, Daphne’s problems aren’t so special anymore, and everybody’s getting a little tired of hearing about them."<br /><br />You're right. they're not so special, and I'm already getting tired of hearing about them.<br /><br />This is what you need: A main, central decision/choice that Daphne has to make.<br /><br />Second, complications that make the choice harder.<br /><br />Third, some type of resolution that the reader will accept. Not one that solves all her problems (that would be unrealistic) but maybe 75% of them.<br /><br />Look in your story for this conflict or choice, the complications that make the choice harder, and the final breaking point that leads to a decision. Then a resolution.<br /><br />Here's an example from an old Jimmy Stewart movie:<br /><br />Jimmy marries a young woman. They have a small apartment. He has a good job. They have a baby. Everything's fine. (Your story doesn't have this part. That's okay.)<br /><br />Your story starts here, with the complications: His mother can no longer care for herself. She moves in with them. There isn't really enough room. Nothing wife does as a wife or mother is good enough for mother-in-law. Business is not so good anymore and Jimmy can't get a raise (not enough money for raises). He works overtime instead. Marriage is strained.<br /><br />The choice is: should they get divorced? Jimmy would take care of his mother, and wife would move back in with her parents and the baby.<br /><br />A complication: Suddenly the baby gets sick from a rare flu. The treatment drug is in another state, but there were no jets back then, and no pilots will fly in this blizzard.<br />Baby gets sicker and sicker. <br /><br />Resolution: Pilot risks his life to come through at the last minute. Baby is saved. Couple decides not to divorce. Money problems not solved, but mother-in-law relaxes a little when she sees the wife is capable. The resolution is incomplete but that makes it more realistic.<br /><br />This is a simplistic example, but you see clearly the conflict/resolution arc, which is why I chose it. Both versions of your query contain only the "complications" part. You need to find the other parts and tell us what happens.<br /><br />And yeah, take that story off any websites. You can mention the story on websites with a brief synopsis instead.St0n3hengehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08504412781917592790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-52556615009107119402011-04-01T01:24:36.358-04:002011-04-01T01:24:36.358-04:00I agree with EE that the 2nd is better and with th...I agree with EE that the 2nd is better and with the reasoning behind why...and with 150. <br /><br />Authors, when someone says, "I really want to know more about _______ (the mysterious "thing" crucial to your plot point that you're trying to hide)." It's not a good thing! It's not meant in a way that's interesting. You're not going to trick us. We're not going to be so taken with the vagueness of your mystery and read your whole book to see what it is. What's going to happen is we (and agents and editors) are going to suspect you don't know how to write with enough specificity to capture and hold a reader's attention for hundreds of pages.<br /><br />Example:<br />Joe had a really big problem. If he doesn't solve it, his life might end.<br /><br />YAWWWWWN<br /><br />Joe's in love with his brother's wife. She's madly in love with him. All would be great except Joe's brother is the biggest mob boss in New Orleans.<br /><br />It's the DETAILS that make a story or a query interesting. Without them, your story's not going to fly. <br /><br />In this query I'm interested in the psycho mother and the anorexic sister who's eating less. Problem is that stuff is all set up. There's no specific plot here other than a teenager having nebulous problems. Be specific!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-5344001630982526222011-03-31T20:38:28.943-04:002011-03-31T20:38:28.943-04:00Ok, so they're each qualified for a serious ps...Ok, so they're each qualified for a serious psychiatric diagnosis. That would spell trouble, all right. So is her plan to get everyone into therapy, or to ditch the family and run away to make it on her own, or what?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-22561956214283947902011-03-31T15:03:27.807-04:002011-03-31T15:03:27.807-04:00I've been all over this blog post lately, so I...I've been all over this blog post lately, so I'm just gonna link it.<br /><br />http://writerunboxed.com/2009/12/17/the-shape-of-a-story-and-why-we-tellread-stories/<br /><br />Most of this query is 1 and 2. You should be getting to 3 at the start of the second paragraph, at the latest. Then you have time to mention 4, maybe 5, and hint at how 6 might go if 4/5 go catastrophically wrong. We just want to know what happens and what the main character does about it, and what happens if she fails.<br /><br />Like I said over on Phoenix's blog, if you can't fill out this outline easily, you might have an overall structural problem.<br /><br />I also notice that this is up on FictionPress. Publishing professionals may consider that using up its first electronic rights. If you're going to shop this, it may be wise to take it down and change the title.150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-2432053788410772312011-03-31T14:30:39.781-04:002011-03-31T14:30:39.781-04:00*warning "helpful" advice below*
Rememb...*warning "helpful" advice below*<br /><br />Remember too that there should be continual conflict throughout the book, something to keep it going. The set up is good, very interesting even. But is the rest just her trying to deal? <br /><br />Food for thought: What problems does she face trying to fix things? (That's really what I want to know more about)Or maybe she realize she can't fix other people but only herself? What's the climax? Every character has problems, most characters have crappy backgrounds but why out of all those books do you want me to pick up yours? What would I learn? What will I come away with? <br /><br />In writing a book myself I try to ask myself questions like those often. <br /><br />I really think this is an awesome premise, and if the middle and ending are just as interesting and well thought out as the beginning you've got here I'd definatly read it! Keep it up!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com