tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post116844415444153282..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: New Beginning 184Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168715486676689662007-01-13T14:11:00.000-05:002007-01-13T14:11:00.000-05:00Actually, Dave, "did they find him" is an archaic ...Actually, Dave, "did they find him" is an archaic but correct form.writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168570498122247142007-01-11T21:54:00.000-05:002007-01-11T21:54:00.000-05:00I knew I'd seen this somewhere before. Ah, Torgo! ...I knew I'd seen this somewhere before. Ah, Torgo! I used to hang out there too. <BR/><BR/>I think I liked this then, and I like it now. Nothing wrong with only sending 129 words if they are the right words.McKoalahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01457446171624585099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168563066775912332007-01-11T19:51:00.000-05:002007-01-11T19:51:00.000-05:00Oh, and in the absence of copious protestations fr...Oh, and in the absence of copious protestations from our dear Evil, I am forced to reevaluate my assumption that he is not some kindly British dude in a weird, floppy hat. Or was it a pith helmet? Can't quite remember.<BR/><BR/>Should old acquaintance, and all that, batgirl. Cheers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168562800789431732007-01-11T19:46:00.000-05:002007-01-11T19:46:00.000-05:00Oh, pshaw, J. I was reading medievals that used wo...Oh, pshaw, J. I was reading medievals that used words like fie and fash and enow instead of enough when I was twelve. As long as the voice is consistant, any reader at a seventh grade level will be able to absorb and accustom himself to it. After the first chapter or two, you don't even notice it anymore. <BR/><BR/>(Note, this is not the same as writing in accented vernacular, lahk if ah wanned ta sound lahk Hank Hill, ah tell ya hwat. Reading pages of stuff like that is excrutiating.)<BR/><BR/>Were they smart enough, they would be more than able to decipher that construction.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168553792919209612007-01-11T17:16:00.000-05:002007-01-11T17:16:00.000-05:00I love the archaic feel and didn't have a problem ...I love the archaic feel and didn't have a problem with the archaic constructions -- I loved them, in fact. The voice is just great.<BR/><BR/>And the continuation... ROFL.kiss-me-at-the-gatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18289100980388975854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168551727766061132007-01-11T16:42:00.000-05:002007-01-11T16:42:00.000-05:00The archaic language may fit the story, but most r...The archaic language may fit the story, but most readers are not archaic and not all of them are going to understand that sentence. You're overdoing the archaic bit when it gets in the way of comprehension. I'd advise the writer to drop that construction.<BR/><BR/>JAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168550749374246132007-01-11T16:25:00.000-05:002007-01-11T16:25:00.000-05:00Torgo! That's it! Could never remember the name, b...Torgo! That's it! Could never remember the name, but I do recall his funky hat in the photo. For the briefest of moments I thought perhaps Torgo was actually our dear Evil sans devil suit, but then I remembered how nice he was. No sense of sarcasm, no boiling contempt, no evil genius. I can't imagine EE in that hat, either.<BR/><BR/>Just wanted to say that I really liked what you posted on that site, to the point that I recognized it the moment I read "suck him like a marrowbone," here. Love "he'd have Tom if Tom stepped wrong," too. The old, colloquial usage is just perfect. Don't know how you could have sustained it for one chapter, let alone a whole novel. It's totally something I'd read. Heck, I'd even let my kids go without breakfast for two days, and <I>buy</I> it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168539993121002522007-01-11T13:26:00.000-05:002007-01-11T13:26:00.000-05:00Oh, and kis, you remember Torgo's Honest Critiques...Oh, and kis, you remember Torgo's Honest Critiques? Woo! I lift a glass of champers to you, with a tipsy chorus of Old Lang Syne.batgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15143310557906978680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168539851021655082007-01-11T13:24:00.000-05:002007-01-11T13:24:00.000-05:00paca, where did you get an innocent soul to be cor...paca, where did you get an innocent soul to be corrupted? Whose was it?<BR/><BR/>The continuation picks up the style nicely, which couldn't have been easy.batgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15143310557906978680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168478225442017142007-01-10T20:17:00.000-05:002007-01-10T20:17:00.000-05:00kis said: "The protag goes on to break into his ma...kis said: "The protag goes on to break into his master's house to collect his meager belongings, and tries to escape the horde of ravening vampires(?), of which is master is now a card-carrying member. The chalk circle protects him from their luring spell, but not from them if they actually find him. The language of the piece is consistent with the period it's set in."<BR/><BR/>Which is detailed in part in <A HREF="http://evileditor.blogspot.com/2007/01/face-lift-254.html" REL="nofollow">Facelift 254</A> with the "ugly resentful teenager" Tom and an "overweight middle aged" herbologist/witch. Undead Revenants here we come.pacatruehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04125048243775811714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168476774107624512007-01-10T19:52:00.000-05:002007-01-10T19:52:00.000-05:00"Did they find him," is an archaic way of saying "..."Did they find him," is an archaic way of saying "if they found him," and is perfectly fitting with the rest of this piece, which is set way, way back. You can even find instances where "and" and "if" are interchangeable, if you go back far enough. <BR/><BR/>I'm not the author, but I did read this bit--maybe as much as six months or a year ago, on a British editor's critique site. Can't really remember the site, but I did remember the piece, because it drew me right in with a feeling of ancient creepiness.<BR/><BR/>The protag goes on to break into his master's house to collect his meager belongings, and tries to escape the horde of ravening vampires(?), of which is master is now a card-carrying member. The chalk circle protects him from their luring spell, but not from them if they actually find him. The language of the piece is consistent with the period it's set in.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168469105172941932007-01-10T17:45:00.000-05:002007-01-10T17:45:00.000-05:00Anon said...""Larry carefully placed it in it’s st...Anon said...<BR/><BR/>""Larry carefully placed it in it’s stand."...I thought the second was a legitimate posessive apostrophe scene."<BR/><BR/>I always goofed those up until one of my college professors said: "If you can't swap it out for *it is*, then skip the apostrophe. <BR/><BR/>Not sure if this is correct, but I don't sweat bullets over which to write anymore.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168461301503718462007-01-10T15:35:00.000-05:002007-01-10T15:35:00.000-05:00There's a boo-boo in the writing. "Did they find h...There's a boo-boo in the writing. <BR/>"Did they find him" should be "If they found him" that circle would do nothing to keep them out. <BR/>Then it all makes sense. <BR/><BR/>He's standing in a strange hut with a leaky room hiding from demons. They apparently can't harm him if they can't see him. <BR/><BR/>The writing is OK. However, I have a question for the author - what happens next? <BR/>He escapes from the demons trying to find him? That's a little ho-hum. <BR/>He is captured and dragged off to hell to be punished or turned into a demon. <BR/>He is captured and turned into a wandering zombie or ghost or worse yet, a good demon who has a conscience and hates being bad. <BR/><BR/>Please tell me you have a more interesting alternative. <BR/><BR/>BTW this is only 129 words.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168460889669549572007-01-10T15:28:00.000-05:002007-01-10T15:28:00.000-05:00Thanks folks. I guess I did miss that class!Thanks folks. I guess I did miss that class!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168459640092419182007-01-10T15:07:00.000-05:002007-01-10T15:07:00.000-05:00I had the same moment of confusion as bernita. Bu...I had the same moment of confusion as bernita. But I like the writing and would read on.roachhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10876796823777689012noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168459252415211122007-01-10T15:00:00.000-05:002007-01-10T15:00:00.000-05:00think: his, hers, yours, ours, theirs... itspronou...think: his, hers, yours, ours, theirs... its<BR/><BR/>pronouns don't take apostrophes when becoming possesive.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168459004989611812007-01-10T14:56:00.001-05:002007-01-10T14:56:00.001-05:00You can't put an apostrophe in the possessive "its...You can't put an apostrophe in the possessive "its", is the problem. You must have missed the class where they told you that "its" is the possessive and "it's" is a contraction for "it is."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168458964502349102007-01-10T14:56:00.000-05:002007-01-10T14:56:00.000-05:00Its is possessive. It's means "it is."Its is possessive. It's means "it is."Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168458744548450272007-01-10T14:52:00.000-05:002007-01-10T14:52:00.000-05:00Does anybody know why Microsoft Word flags "it's" ...Does anybody know why Microsoft Word flags "it's" in a sentence like "Larry carefully placed it in it’s stand."<BR/><BR/><BR/>I thought the second was a legitimate posessive apostrophe scene. Is Bill Gates trying to tell me that inanimate objects cannot own other inanimate objects? Did I miss class that day?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168456068573632472007-01-10T14:07:00.000-05:002007-01-10T14:07:00.000-05:00From werewolf popes to a sperm's POV to now being ...From werewolf popes to a sperm's POV to now being sucked like a marrowbone, I can feel my innocent soul being corrupted irrecovably by this blog.<BR/><BR/>Suddenly, I feel naughty. I think I'll go put my recyclables in the regular trash bin.pacatruehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04125048243775811714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168455185126678262007-01-10T13:53:00.000-05:002007-01-10T13:53:00.000-05:00This isn't a bad start for a story. Clear up the ...This isn't a bad start for a story. Clear up the (perceived) continuity problem(s). I would read more. -JTCAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1168447783868287162007-01-10T11:49:00.000-05:002007-01-10T11:49:00.000-05:00I'm confused.That's a pretty small and odd space f...I'm confused.<BR/>That's a pretty small and odd space for a circle of protection, for one.<BR/>Two, you seem to imply it both protects him ("that kept him from walking into their jaws") and does not ("the circle'd do naught to keep them out.")<BR/>Consider putting a period after "warmth" and beginning a new sentence with "The water dripped..."Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.com