tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post116611743361427238..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 244Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1167712349081046372007-01-01T23:32:00.000-05:002007-01-01T23:32:00.000-05:00Thanks EE for your very helpful and specific comme...Thanks EE for your very helpful and specific comments; thanks to the authors of the awesome Guess-the-Plots; thank you very much to the commenters! These are great, helpful, funny and useful things you've pointed out to me, and I really appreciate your attention and courtesy. <BR/><BR/>Er, and I'm sorry to be thanking you all so long after the posting-date, but I've been frolicking in the surf for two weeks. The fishies wouldn't let me borrow their internet.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1166225943180745522006-12-15T18:39:00.000-05:002006-12-15T18:39:00.000-05:00I cheated by submitting GTPs for the long-past orp...I cheated by submitting GTPs for the long-past orphan Face-lifts. I felt sorry for them. Got four picks for Face-Lifts 33 and 42, three picks for a couple of others.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1166220546255866752006-12-15T17:09:00.000-05:002006-12-15T17:09:00.000-05:00Things I found out this week:1. my dog can hunt af...Things I found out this week:<BR/><BR/>1. my dog <EM>can</EM> hunt after all,<BR/>2. I don't like query letters that start with a thesis statement.<BR/><BR/>Supposing I did, though, I'd at least expect you to write your own thesis statement. You are, after all, "obviously" a writer.<BR/><BR/>Other than that, I think I counted 17 push-button words in the query letter. Also, a reflection on the theme "how much evil would you do for the sake of doing good" is gonna have to be really outlandish if it hopes to sound fresh.<BR/><BR/>If I were an agent I doubt I'd have read to the end of the query letter, but good luck with it.HawkOwlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08506953701159624542noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1166204346299355202006-12-15T12:39:00.000-05:002006-12-15T12:39:00.000-05:00EE: Landru thinks you know too much. You will com...EE: <BR/><BR/>Landru thinks you know too much. You will come with the lawgivers to be absorbed into the body.Reihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17005292189176596201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1166189746971548512006-12-15T08:35:00.000-05:002006-12-15T08:35:00.000-05:00Yeah, this sounded interesting. Orson Scott Card ...Yeah, this sounded interesting. Orson Scott Card also has a series with a similar premise if I recall, although the ancient computer didn't bestow magic powers. I too would like to know what kind of powers we're talking about exactly. Does it just make you really good at math? Or can you shoot lasers from your eyes?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1166188425057516052006-12-15T08:13:00.000-05:002006-12-15T08:13:00.000-05:00Not even EE should dis Star Trek. Those are Holy ...Not even EE should dis Star Trek. Those are Holy Grounds! I thank the author for that trip down memory lane and would suggest writing about something else. -JTCAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1166186993226087632006-12-15T07:49:00.000-05:002006-12-15T07:49:00.000-05:00"more distressingly"???Watch awkward words like th..."more distressingly"<BR/>???<BR/>Watch awkward words like that - makes the Dark Heir sound blonde.Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1166181876611248152006-12-15T06:24:00.000-05:002006-12-15T06:24:00.000-05:00that first paragraph? A great hook! I've read ote...that first paragraph? A great hook! I've read otehr books with this concept, but not for a while (Andre Norton wrote a couple) and there is room with the "flawed" portion of the powers to be really, intensely unique.writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1166177550653970402006-12-15T05:12:00.000-05:002006-12-15T05:12:00.000-05:00I also like the corrollary to Clarke's third law:"...I also like the corrollary to Clarke's third law:<BR/><BR/>"Any technology that <I>is</I> distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced."<BR/><BR/>pax et bonumSolidushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01942352297819203368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1166164216594851032006-12-15T01:30:00.000-05:002006-12-15T01:30:00.000-05:00I am very fond of [also mis]quoting Clarke's third...I am very fond of [also mis]quoting Clarke's third law to my kids (thanks, writerious, for the reference). Anyway, although I liked that you opened with it, you might want to rethink putting it as your first sentence. It has a gravity all its own, and I think it might be pulling the reader away from your story. My suggestion: Bury it maybe at the end of the first paragraph. Opening with it had me looking for tie-ins to it all the way through (note also EE's comment about it later in the query). I was distracted from your actual story, with I rather like.<BR/><BR/>I got a little lost in the nuances of the computer/magic/understanding thing. It's unclear to me if the computer is somehow ruling Katirin's country or just wielding some odd and inconsistent influence over the minds of the people. But what really confused me was "an object she barely understands."<BR/><BR/>Picking a nit, would you refer to a sentient computer as "an object"? (Well, obviously you would since you did, but I probably wouldn't.) But how about "barely understands"? That implies she <I>does</I> understand it, albeit barely. Does everyone understand that there's a wacko computer causing mayhem? Or has Katirin discovered something no one else believes or understands? For me, this is important to how I think about the rest of the story.<BR/><BR/>Finally, I get little sense of what type of "magic" the computer appears to be. I think that this takes place in a world similar to Arthurian legend, not a world similar to Harry Potter.<BR/><BR/>I feel quite confident that these questions are answered in the other 103,800 words, but it seems to me that your story is of a young woman questing to save her people while faced with serious ethical issues. It is not really about how technology seems like magic. That's a cool idea and all, but IMHO your plot stands on its own without needing the shoulders of a giant.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1166162384858566332006-12-15T00:59:00.000-05:002006-12-15T00:59:00.000-05:00anon 9:49: three? Wow, best I've ever done is tw...anon 9:49: <I>three</I>? Wow, best I've ever done is two.<BR/><BR/>verification word: faskvi<BR/>a unix utility to query the vi editor on multiple files (what you would ask vi is an exercise left to the reader)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1166158958516911292006-12-15T00:02:00.000-05:002006-12-15T00:02:00.000-05:00I'm wondering what is more important to the story ...I'm wondering what is more important to the story -- the love of family and country, or breaking the computer's control of the ruling class.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1166154283161713172006-12-14T22:44:00.000-05:002006-12-14T22:44:00.000-05:00Your query succeeded in making me want to read the...Your query succeeded in making me want to read the book. But by the time I had gotten to the "traitor and assassin" part I began to suffer from info overload. <BR/><BR/>Any way you can simplify a little more?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1166152997943058602006-12-14T22:23:00.000-05:002006-12-14T22:23:00.000-05:00Hey, three of my GTP's were selected for this one....<I>Hey, three of my GTP's were selected for this one. Has anybody ever gotten a clean sweep?</I> <BR/><BR/>I cut and paste them onto the query when they arrive. By the time I get around to choosing, I've forgotten who sent them. Of course, if they're sent anonymously, there's no way of knowing if they came from the same person.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1166152447945936342006-12-14T22:14:00.000-05:002006-12-14T22:14:00.000-05:00If you're going to quote Arthur C. Clarke, get the...If you're going to quote Arthur C. Clarke, get the quote right, and be sure to credit it:<BR/><BR/>"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."<BR/><BR/>(Clarke's Third Law)<BR/><BR/>(Clarke's other two laws:<BR/>1: When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.<BR/>2: The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.)<BR/><BR/>The plot contains some elements very much like Gene Wolf's Book of the Long Sun trilogy. I recommend reading Wolf, if you haven't, before anyone accuses you of lifting that, too -- not that the whole "Oh, look, the Gods are just the ramblings of this ancient computer program" theme hasn't been done before, many times, with various levels of skill.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1166150974822696162006-12-14T21:49:00.000-05:002006-12-14T21:49:00.000-05:00Hey, three of my GTP's were selected for this one....Hey, three of my GTP's were selected for this one. Has anybody ever gotten a clean sweep?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com