tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post116001024084752685..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 207Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1160150776199818352006-10-06T12:06:00.000-04:002006-10-06T12:06:00.000-04:00[Let's face it, these women all hate each other. I...<I> [Let's face it, these women all hate each other. It's a seething hatred that's been festering for fifteen years. At least Katherine had the sense to get out before the killing started.]</I><BR/><BR/>Funniest. Line. Evah.<BR/><BR/>*applauds EE*Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1160102069586791212006-10-05T22:34:00.000-04:002006-10-05T22:34:00.000-04:00I found myself hung up on the first sentence of FO...I found myself hung up on the first sentence of FOUR SEASONS. I don’t consider romantic relationships, friendships, families, and memories of loved ones passed to be “forms of fidelity”. I don’t consider them to be forms of ‘loyalty’ either, but this is the word I would choose to draw a correlation. While fidelity and loyalty may be overlapping in definition and interchangeable on many occasions, I believe the word loyalty is more encompassing because it can draw from sentiment. For instance, you wouldn’t use the word ‘fidelity’ to describe your devotion to the memory of the deceased; you would use the word ‘loyalty’. I know I’m nit-picking semantics here.<BR/><BR/>You properly used the word loyalty in this sentence:<BR/><BR/>“<I>Her loyalty is often questioned, and this time, her taking off could endanger Katherine’s life.</I>”<BR/><BR/>If you substituted <I>fidelity</I> for <I>loyalty</I> in the above sentence it would be confusing since we do usually use the word loyalty to describe a positive attribute of a friendship, not fidelity. My point being, since these two words are not always interchangeable, I’d suggest relying more on the word ‘loyalty’. <BR/><BR/>From what I can tell from the story so far, none of the four main characters possess the virtue of loyalty. If the story is about how they come to realize that they have a deficiency and work to overcome it, I would be happy to read this book.Steph_Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09038561427384607706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1160056778511479692006-10-05T09:59:00.000-04:002006-10-05T09:59:00.000-04:00Is it "Four Seasons" because it takes place over t...Is it "Four Seasons" because it takes place over the course of one year? If so, you might want to say that.<BR/><BR/>Maybe it's cuz there are four of them and they all represent different seasons--one is winter, one is spring, one is summer, and one is autumn. Or whatever. Sounds like an old Motown band to me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1160054770521893162006-10-05T09:26:00.000-04:002006-10-05T09:26:00.000-04:00Is it "Four Seasons" because it takes place over t...Is it "Four Seasons" because it takes place over the course of one year? If so, you might want to say that.<BR/>What I really want to know, though, is do we get to go to Argentina in the book? That's where I perked up -- especially if you're mentioning travel writing as a credit. Tell us if and why Argentina comes into it -- because that's the only thing that suggests this might be more than one of those things where women "friends" stab each other in the back in petty ways.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1160050970983793132006-10-05T08:22:00.000-04:002006-10-05T08:22:00.000-04:00The first paragraph of the query almost killed it ...The first paragraph of the query almost killed it for me. All the contradictions (which EE poined out) finished the job. <BR/><BR/>bunnygirl, children of a deceased parent often feel their surviving parent is "cheating" on the deceased when they move on and start a new relationship. -JTCAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1160028295950653202006-10-05T02:04:00.000-04:002006-10-05T02:04:00.000-04:00From the Wikipedia entry on Titanium:"It is a ligh...From the Wikipedia entry on Titanium:<BR/>"It is a light, strong, lustrous, corrosion-resistant (including resistance to sea water and chlorine) transition metal with a white-silvery-metallic colour."<BR/><BR/>Copper, maybe? Iron? Skip the corrosion thing? Just a thought.Daisy Batemanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10031425541717458261noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1160027081288967582006-10-05T01:44:00.000-04:002006-10-05T01:44:00.000-04:00Best friends for fifteen years, Katherine, Annabel...<I>Best friends for fifteen years, Katherine, Annabel, Naomi and Stace have a bond of friendship as strong as titanium. But even titanium can corrode.</I><BR/><BR/>I'm not your target market, but this really bugged me. Titanium is actually no stronger than steel; it's just lighter, more corrosion resistant, more temperature resistant, and more biocompatable. Titanium doesn't corrode in normal conditions. An interesting thing about it, however, is when it does corrode, it's very colorful. The depth of the corrosion determines the color. You can get any hue (although you can't adjust the saturation or lightness), and as a consequence, some companies "paint" titanium by selectively corroding it to a desired depth.<BR/><BR/>What your analogy really needs to compare their friendship to is something like maraging steel. Of course, as previously stated, I'm not your target audience. ;)Reihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17005292189176596201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1160025894885674222006-10-05T01:24:00.000-04:002006-10-05T01:24:00.000-04:00My main thought was: with friends like these....My main thought was: with friends like these....pacatruehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04125048243775811714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1160025022202680382006-10-05T01:10:00.000-04:002006-10-05T01:10:00.000-04:00"Will Stace leave town, as usual, to avoid dealing..."Will Stace leave town, as usual, to avoid dealing with another crisis?"<BR/><BR/>But EE - if Stace always left town, how would they have developed a 15 year friendship?<BR/>It doesn't sound all that interesting - I think if Katherine is in danger, you need to reveal exactly what it is, or what they think it is, more clearly.<BR/>Also, the titanium thing sucks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1160024311626127012006-10-05T00:58:00.000-04:002006-10-05T00:58:00.000-04:00She thinks her mother is cheating on her recently ...<I>She thinks her mother is cheating on her recently deceased father.</I><BR/><BR/>How is it cheating if the guy is dead?<BR/><BR/>C'mon, EE, you didn't catch this? You're slacking!Ann (bunnygirl)https://www.blogger.com/profile/04938134750150653386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1160022645413597762006-10-05T00:30:00.000-04:002006-10-05T00:30:00.000-04:00I hope this is a desperate housewives for the tita...I hope this is a desperate housewives for the titanium set. It's a timely plot - cheating, avaricious, gossipy housewives and their intricate and sometimes altogether nonsensical love interests. But you have to describe all those plot twists a little better. I got lost. Don't be afraid of the plot. I am sure that when Amy Tan pitched Joy Luck Club about four old women who play Mah Johhng and discuss their families, it didn't sound exciting. Don't try so hard to make it exciting, get the plot line down and then go back and punch it up. <BR/><BR/>three picky things: <BR/>1) titanium doesn't corrode. At least nothing you have can possibly make it corrode. I know. I had all titanium valves and tubing specially fabricated for use in wet, acidic andhighly abrasive environments at high temperatures. Titanium does fatigue and breaks, however. Maybe you want to use platinum or steel. <BR/>2) Vivaldi only wrote one flute concerto and 5000 sickening variations on it. He was the Yanni of his time.<BR/>3) G-T-P #6 GASP - it's not just grease, it's PORK FAT and pork fat RULES!Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1160022051459278542006-10-05T00:20:00.000-04:002006-10-05T00:20:00.000-04:00"Even titanium can corrode." WTF? This didn't st..."Even titanium can corrode." WTF? <BR/><BR/>This didn't strike me as really interesting, as it sounds like it is about a bunch of people I wouldn't care about at all. <BR/><BR/>You could have a vast amount of interesting stuff planned for in the book, but the query letter doesn't provide enough, and the characters don't seem very individuated, as in, one could replace another pretty much. Could it be you have too many characters in starring roles?<BR/><BR/>I'm tired so anything else I say will just sound cranky.writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.com