tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post115587064684300930..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Old Beginnings 2Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1156123008376631832006-08-20T21:16:00.000-04:002006-08-20T21:16:00.000-04:00I would read every one of these -- #2, 4, and 5 be...I would read every one of these -- #2, 4, and 5 before 1 and 3, but each one of them has flavor and attitude. Indeed, they are all funny, though not in a way that would preclude seriousness.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1156060274012972632006-08-20T03:51:00.000-04:002006-08-20T03:51:00.000-04:001. A narrator with a wry sense of humor. I'd keep ...1. A narrator with a wry sense of humor. I'd keep reading.<BR/><BR/>2. I loved this beginning. Langorous, like the character.<BR/><BR/>3. Interesting. I might keep reading. But bag ladies and street crazies are also too sad, so I'm not sure.<BR/><BR/>4. Loved this! The guy who lies about calories is a criminal!<BR/><BR/>5. I liked this, too. Clear sense of time. And an editor who wants "happy"-I already feel for the writer narrator!<BR/><BR/>Learning from these exercises. Thanks, EE.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155964385325210942006-08-19T01:13:00.000-04:002006-08-19T01:13:00.000-04:00EE said: The Seinfeld yogurt episode aired in 1993...EE said: <I>The Seinfeld yogurt episode aired in 1993. Sheila Levine was published in 1972. Who ripped off whom?</I><BR/><BR/>You got me there. I didn't know the source, and I assumed it was more recent based on the chick-lit feel. Apparently this kind of image-obsession dates back farther than I thought. Sad.<BR/><BR/>[JRM]Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155923792502451802006-08-18T13:56:00.000-04:002006-08-18T13:56:00.000-04:00I liked 4 and 5, but hated the first three. Fun!I liked 4 and 5, but hated the first three. Fun!Kathleenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00923975835078747456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155921628869222642006-08-18T13:20:00.000-04:002006-08-18T13:20:00.000-04:00This is obviously both chick-lit (which I don't re...<I>This is obviously both chick-lit (which I don't read) and a rip-off of a Seinfeld episode.</I><BR/><BR/>The Seinfeld yogurt episode aired in 1993. Sheila Levine was published in 1972. Who ripped off whom?Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155921217705580732006-08-18T13:13:00.000-04:002006-08-18T13:13:00.000-04:00I haven't read anyone else's comments yet, but her...I haven't read anyone else's comments yet, but here are mine:<BR/><BR/>1. Yawn. I kept thinking of advice I've heard from others: you want to write a novel, stop talking about it and just write it. Also, I'm old. The complaints of 22 year olds whose "creative fire has dimmed" inspire no sympathy from me. I'd pass.<BR/><BR/>2. Tweezing hairs from her mole? Eew. And if this long-waited-for call isn't important to her, why should it be important to me? Pass.<BR/><BR/>3. I would definitely keep reading this one. The narrator doesn't sound crazy, and in fact states plainly that he doesn't think that he is, yet his behavior suggests otherwise. I'm curious enough to want to find out what's going on here.<BR/><BR/>4. This is obviously both chick-lit (which I don't read) and a rip-off of a Seinfeld episode. There isn't anything necessarily wrong with the writing, but I'm not much interested in a character who thinks a few calories are worth killing oneself for. Get over it, eat a salad if it's that important to you.<BR/><BR/>5. This one is interesting due to the style, the tone. But so far I don't feel much in the way of actual story happening. Sounds like it's going to be more of a story about writing stories, actually. But I would keep reading, for a bit, to see if something interesting happens. I'm not hooked, but neither am I turned off, yet.<BR/><BR/>So, 2/5 on this go-round. No doubt I'm missing some good books. Woe is me.<BR/><BR/>[JRM]Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155920906734620592006-08-18T13:08:00.000-04:002006-08-18T13:08:00.000-04:001. No. Overwritten for my taste, and the woes of...1. No. Overwritten for my taste, and the woes of a writer? Please. It's bad enough hearing myself think.<BR/><BR/>2. Possibly. I'm intrigued.<BR/><BR/>3. Would depend on my mood. I'm not massively interested, especially as I really need to love a book to get past being addressed directly by its author.<BR/><BR/>4. No. Not even if it was the only thing to read on the moon, and there was a twenty-year wait for a return shuttle.<BR/><BR/>5. No. I didn't even manage to finish reading the excerpt.nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155920028524324732006-08-18T12:53:00.000-04:002006-08-18T12:53:00.000-04:00Wow, I sound like I'm sucking up to the teacher, b...Wow, I sound like I'm sucking up to the teacher, but I'd keep reading all of these. <BR/><BR/>#5 (I'm guessing a short story, but I'll peek to find out) and #3 immediately.<BR/><BR/>Here's my take on the overall exercise though. <BR/><BR/>All you need early on is a hint at something to keep the reader around. <BR/><BR/>Take #2, for example. While I'm on the edge of my seat waiting to learn about her phone call, she's killing me with her patience. Answer the friggin' phone! I feel like I'm spying from the next room. Put down the lacquer and pick up the phone. But I'm not going to leave until she answers it and I learn more.<BR/><BR/>That's great stuff. And it's all set up with mundane details that rise to a new level because of what the author set up. <BR/><BR/>It's what we've often referred to in these postings as "action" I believe. <BR/><BR/>Tell the reader only as much as they need to know to keep turning the pages. Love that. Now can I follow it?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155919701903761412006-08-18T12:48:00.000-04:002006-08-18T12:48:00.000-04:001. No. The first sentence had "Manhattan" twice, w...1. No. The first sentence had "Manhattan" twice, which was annoyingly redundant.<BR/><BR/>2. Yes. But I don't like her, and I find myself oddly curious about where exactly that mole is, and how large.<BR/><BR/>3. Pinwheel hat? Yes, I would read on.<BR/><BR/>4. No. Who cares? Sounds like Chic Lit that is supposed to be funny because it parodies image-obessed women.<BR/><BR/>5. Yes. It's the most interesting one of them all. And not just because it was an editor.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02425554097061286483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155915405701896772006-08-18T11:36:00.000-04:002006-08-18T11:36:00.000-04:00Can you imagine the howling by the minions if some...Can you imagine the howling by the minions if somebody posted this:<BR/><BR/>"She was a girl who for a ringing phone dropped exactly nothing."<BR/><BR/>Salinger, beware the minions! And the zombies, the brutal eunuchs and most of all, The Pooka of Leinster!<BR/><BR/>Fierce Weenie will protect you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155913061607473442006-08-18T10:57:00.000-04:002006-08-18T10:57:00.000-04:00Wow. I never would have guessed in a million years...Wow. I never would have guessed in a million years that #1 was <I>that</I> story. I guess I have to read it.Dan Lewishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06388782974143019065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155912535095091802006-08-18T10:48:00.000-04:002006-08-18T10:48:00.000-04:00#1 was the only one that didn't do it for me. The...#1 was the only one that didn't do it for me. The "Manhattan apartments in Manhattan" bit irked me. Did he have to use Manhattan twice? (Yeah, it's a little thing, but sometimes little things in stories get to me.)<BR/><BR/>Plus, the POV character sounded smug. Maybe it gets better later on in the book, but, meh. If a character, the main one or not, is smug AND is funny/witty (without trying too hard), that's a character I can appreciate. But not this one.<BR/><BR/>~NancyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155911658688414812006-08-18T10:34:00.000-04:002006-08-18T10:34:00.000-04:00Tend to agree with HawkOwl, although I kind of lik...Tend to agree with HawkOwl, although I kind of like #5.braunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00387344142594757730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155910344546942642006-08-18T10:12:00.000-04:002006-08-18T10:12:00.000-04:00None of them. They all seem to be exactly what New...None of them. They all seem to be exactly what New York is about (as far as I can tell, having never been anywhere near, nor intending to do so), but not in a funny enough way.HawkOwlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08506953701159624542noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155907145052072572006-08-18T09:19:00.000-04:002006-08-18T09:19:00.000-04:00Loved, loved, loved Number 5! Can just picture it...Loved, loved, loved Number 5! Can just picture it - they're at one of those old New York Men's Clubs, there's the smell of cigars and cigarette, the muted chink of ice in thick lead crystal glasses, the writer is sitting in some deep chair from which he'd like to struggle up and strangle the editor, the editor is smiling, avuncular, his eyes warm with love for this young writer in need of a little guidance. <BR/><BR/>I liked 2, 3 and 4 as well but I wouldn't bother to read further.<BR/><BR/>Number 1 I didn't like at all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155905804713068172006-08-18T08:56:00.000-04:002006-08-18T08:56:00.000-04:00I was right! I was right!I agree with Mark. Howe...I was right! I was right!<BR/><BR/>I agree with Mark. However, if I try to look at #1 objectively, I'm not sure I'd buy the book now, if I'd never read it. It is a guy rambling on.<BR/><BR/>It just so happens I find myself very moved by Styron's writing. He rambles, but eloquently, engagingly. That book has never left me. I fear world domination by some abhorrent group bent on genocide who might force me to make a choice between my children.<BR/><BR/>I liked #2. I wanted to know more about the girl who didn't pick-up the phone.<BR/><BR/>#3 - so-so<BR/><BR/>#4 - Read it. It pulled me in the first time, as it did this time.<BR/><BR/>No opinion on the others.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155905201098937682006-08-18T08:46:00.000-04:002006-08-18T08:46:00.000-04:00Is the first one Styron, Sophie's Choice. If so, ...Is the first one Styron, Sophie's Choice. If so, I recognized it immediately. If not, I'm a dummy.<BR/><BR/>I was a senior in high school when I checked that book out of the library, and faked being sick for a week so I could read it.<BR/><BR/>I balled my eyes out!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155904629484936282006-08-18T08:37:00.000-04:002006-08-18T08:37:00.000-04:00I was most drawn in by #5. I love the first paragr...I was most drawn in by #5. I love the first paragraph, esp the phrase "narrowed down to the thin straight line of business." T<BR/>My second fav was #2, because of the character's behavior. I want to know more about her phone call and what makes her tick. #4 amused me, I'd keep reading.<BR/><BR/>#1 didn't turn me off or draw me in; I'd keep reading only if I knew enough about the author's other work or if something in the book jacket description/reviews appealed.<BR/>#3 is a good opening but not to my taste.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155888870719767932006-08-18T04:14:00.000-04:002006-08-18T04:14:00.000-04:00#1. I like the first sentence a lot. The second an...#1. I like the first sentence a lot. The second and third sentences are more of the same "all the children are above average" silliness. It is a parody of bad writing by the author, spoken through the character of this 22-year-old narrator. In fact, it sounds almost like <A HREF="http://www.lulu.com/content/102550" REL="nofollow">Atlanta Nights</A>. This story is going to be ridiculous to match the ridiculous style, if you are into that sort of thing. I so am.<BR/><BR/>#2. The way this girl spent her two and a half hours does not inspire me with much confidence. I wish for bad things to happen to this girl. I would read on to see if they did.<BR/><BR/>The call is promised in the first sentence and about to be delivered at the end of the excerpt. Also, the sentence indicates period (a time when long-distance calls were difficult to make because of the limited availability of lines, and you had to wait your turn).<BR/><BR/>The way the girl spends her time describes her and characterizes her at once. The author slyly undercuts all her primping by saying she used the time, which sets up an expectation that someone is about to do something useful, like read a book of sermons. Instead, she reads a pocket magazine about sex (more period stuff) and moves the button on her blouse.<BR/><BR/>"She looked as if her phone had been ringing" is a double entendre that characterizes as it describes, but it took me a couple of tries to get it.Dan Lewishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06388782974143019065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155877024131840942006-08-18T00:57:00.000-04:002006-08-18T00:57:00.000-04:00As for #1: Well, I've read the novel, so I obviou...As for #1: Well, I've read the novel, so I obviously wasn't turned off by the way it begins. I guess stylish writing really is enough for me. (But this book sure could have been shorter. It's even more languid than the movie.) Note, by the way, that in the next couple pages you discover that the point-of-view character is, of all things, a slushpile reader. <BR/><BR/>#2. I love this beginning. Perfect example of including the right telling details. <BR/><BR/>#3. Whatever you think, it is arresting. And kinda funny.<BR/><BR/>4. This is also hysterical. I'd keep reading.<BR/><BR/>5. This doesn't send me, but I'm not really sure I can put my finger on why.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155876350220268072006-08-18T00:45:00.000-04:002006-08-18T00:45:00.000-04:00I don't know any of these, so coming at them fresh...I don't know any of these, so coming at them fresh:<BR/><BR/>1. Probably. Although he annoys me already.<BR/>2. Yes, love this one, although a name would be nice.<BR/>3. Yes, also love this one.<BR/>4. Yes, as above.<BR/>5. Maybe. Again, I'm slightly irritated, this time by the editor. If he's not hanging around, I'd be interested.<BR/><BR/>I accept that an irritating character is not a reason for an agent to reject a well-written novel, but it stops me from reading them!McKoalahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01457446171624585099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155875160762449952006-08-18T00:26:00.000-04:002006-08-18T00:26:00.000-04:00I thought #2 was the catchiest, and Google showed ...I thought #2 was the catchiest, and Google showed that the story is online in its entirety--upon which I was sharply reminded that it's hard to judge a story by its first 150 words.<BR/><BR/>Not the kind of thing I care for at <B>all.</B>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155872452630990542006-08-17T23:40:00.000-04:002006-08-17T23:40:00.000-04:001. No. There's a twenty-two-year-old man whining a...1. No. There's a twenty-two-year-old man whining at me about how tragic it is to not be eighteen anymore. Honey? Just save your breath. It gets worse.<BR/><BR/>2. Yes! I was on pins and needles waiting for her to pick up that damned phone. The line about her dropping exactly nothing for a ringing phone was fantastic.<BR/><BR/>3. Yes. All those little details that don't add up; I want to know more. I want to know what happened to make this lucid-sounding man rollerskate in a pinwheel hat.<BR/><BR/>4. Yes. What an impact those last two sentences had!<BR/><BR/>5. Yes. The way the editor verbally danced around issuing a demand, and the language he used to do it, was hilarious. You can already tell what the conflict is going to be for the POV character.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155872040812030622006-08-17T23:34:00.000-04:002006-08-17T23:34:00.000-04:00I, for one, would not want to live in a world wher...I, for one, would not want to live in a world where a man lies about calories.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com