tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post115548973551972798..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 156Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155666350143902492006-08-15T14:25:00.000-04:002006-08-15T14:25:00.000-04:00'Moses Potter'! EE, I might fall off the tree, an...'Moses Potter'! <BR/><BR/>EE, I might fall off the tree, and break my head, and its all because of you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155656373027218302006-08-15T11:39:00.000-04:002006-08-15T11:39:00.000-04:00'Dear so and so'? Urggghnut! 'Dear EE, the great...'Dear so and so'? <BR/><BR/> Urggghnut! <BR/><BR/>'Dear EE, the greatest editor that ever lived!' isn't that what you meant?<BR/><BR/>Woofnut: my verification is getting scary.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155637488182362252006-08-15T06:24:00.000-04:002006-08-15T06:24:00.000-04:00Oh, of course. I forgot all about that guy and his...Oh, of course. I forgot all about that guy and his Dungeon Master website. Silly me! :-)Staciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07969399927758009095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155610069731151802006-08-14T22:47:00.000-04:002006-08-14T22:47:00.000-04:00It's actually Rivendell, EE, not Elvendell.Actuall...<I>It's actually Rivendell, EE, not Elvendell.</I><BR/><BR/>Actually, I wrote <I>Elvendale</I>, and of course I was referring to http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Shire/7433/haven/roald.htmlEvil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155601056801894852006-08-14T20:17:00.000-04:002006-08-14T20:17:00.000-04:00It is regrettable that the first draft of my query...It is regrettable that the first draft of my query did not justice to the story! In truth (I promise this) it is not like Harry Potter, or terminator, or Lord of the Rings. Epic? Yes. Magic? yes. But this is not about a boy who learns he's a wizard and goes to magic school. It's not about a boy who was an orphan (that's not a plot point at all). It's not about wands and magic spells and all that what not. It's about the dark side of destiny and choices, of wars that start because of differing moralities, of giving in to one's dark side, and of learning crushing truths about one self. Obviously, I need to understand that these are the things I should be describing in my query. Thanks all, and keep the suggestions coming.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155600751265473022006-08-14T20:12:00.000-04:002006-08-14T20:12:00.000-04:00*snerk* Moses Potter.I agree, though, it sounds a ...*snerk* Moses Potter.<BR/><BR/>I agree, though, it sounds a little like a pastiche of lots of other books. It may not be at all, but the query unfortunately makes it sound as if it is. Figure out what makes your book different and write about that. (And btw, I have a 20-month old and I agree with 5:43 anonymous. There's no way she would stay nicely in a basket on a porch unless she was drugged--but I assume it makes sense in the story.)<BR/><BR/><BR/>It's actually Rivendell, EE, not Elvendell. How am I the only one who caught that?Staciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07969399927758009095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155595095982582402006-08-14T18:38:00.000-04:002006-08-14T18:38:00.000-04:00Gosh Mr. Peabody,Send this one back please. It's ...Gosh Mr. Peabody,<BR/>Send this one back please. It's so ernest it's painful!<BR/><BR/>Dear Author;<BR/>It's wonderful that you've written an entire book, and I commend you on your valient effort. Unfortunately, as others have said, this has been done before and is probably being done to death even as you read this.<BR/><BR/>It's not horrible, just seems to be lacking the hook it would take to make any reader of any age pick it up and keep reading. If I were an editor or agent, I'd suggest to you this:<BR/><BR/>Shelf this. Start your very next book today, for you seem to really enjoy writing. In a year or 3 reread this, and maybe rework it some. Best of luck to you... keep on writing!magzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02351879762711676150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155585590785328742006-08-14T15:59:00.000-04:002006-08-14T15:59:00.000-04:00The "child of two mortal enemies" bit is actually ...The "child of two mortal enemies" bit is actually the most intriguing detail to me, but as it stands, wouldn't hold my attention when the rest sounds so generic. I'd fear a generic answer like "initially she didn't know that he was Evil".<BR/><BR/>A general question: If your novel sounds rather like Harry Potter, should you bite the bullet and say "While my story has some similarities with Harry Potter, it is set apart by A, B and C"? We're often warned not to draw attention to similarities, but when they are unavoidable (and anything involving an orphan teenage wizard at school is pretty unavoidable) is it better to address the problem directly?<BR/><BR/>MaryKayeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155593573609922372006-08-14T18:12:00.000-04:002006-08-14T18:12:00.000-04:00OMG, I loved fake plot #1. LOL.I knew it was fake...OMG, I loved fake plot #1. LOL.<BR/><BR/>I knew it was fake plot # 4 because that seemed the most boring. I think it's a good exercise to write fake plots because it helps highlight what might not work, what's been done before, and what is hysterically funny.<BR/><BR/>And the competition for writing these fake plots has definitely increased. Good job to all the fake plot writers.<BR/><BR/>Author-I agree with all the other posts. It might have been fun to write, but it doesn't sound very different or unique. I like the name Dragonthorn, though.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155591401388454192006-08-14T17:36:00.000-04:002006-08-14T17:36:00.000-04:00All of the one and half year old kids I have ever ...All of the one and half year old kids I have ever known would have <BR/>a. fallen out of the basket and drowned,<BR/>b. choked on the pendant,<BR/>and/or<BR/>c. torn up the book.<BR/><BR/>I stopped reading there.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155589736557671912006-08-14T17:08:00.000-04:002006-08-14T17:08:00.000-04:00I'm not getting a very good sense of setting from ...I'm not getting a very good sense of setting from the query. Even if it's set in a fantasy realm, give us some idea of the time period and Earth civilization it correlates to. I'd be pretty sure this was modern-era (another HP similarity) if not for the ravine. And the baby in a basket. That should probably be done by adjusting your place and character names to ring a consistent bell in your readers' minds. Who can imagine Emily Churchill and Kazus on the same wedding invitation?<BR/><BR/>(Also, is it KAY-zus or Kay-ZEUS? One sounds like a cuss and the other like a sneeze.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155585417768723072006-08-14T15:56:00.000-04:002006-08-14T15:56:00.000-04:00[Who are you trying to kid? It's Harry Potter.]I'm...[Who are you trying to kid? It's Harry Potter.]<BR/><BR/>I'm so glad you sait it, Evil Editor. When I read GTP #4, I thought: I hope it's not that one, 'cause that sounds too much like Harry Potter.<BR/><BR/>Dear author, on the importance of names... Please read Diana Peterfreund's Blog. I just read this yesterday and was impressed with her take on names. I agree with her method, actually. Think of what you want that character to represent... what they need to accomplish, and name them accordingly. I hope this link comes through.<BR/><BR/>http://dianapeterfreund.blogspot.com/2006/05/character-names.htmlAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155589250342173042006-08-14T17:00:00.000-04:002006-08-14T17:00:00.000-04:00You missed one, EE. The story also seems derivati...You missed one, EE. The story also seems derivative of the Terminator movies.<BR/><BR/><I>She decided to send her son two hundred years into the future... so that he might defeat Kazus once and for all in another time.</I>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155585033470734802006-08-14T15:50:00.000-04:002006-08-14T15:50:00.000-04:00Ummmm... my big question here was that he was the ...Ummmm... my big question here was that he was the son of Kazus and EMily Churchill. Now if Emily defeated Kazus how did they have a son together? And if they were mortal enemies to the point where she vanquished him, why did they have a son together?<BR/><BR/>The revised version is much better as it doesnt even bother bringing up these questions which I hope are answered in the MS.spongey437https://www.blogger.com/profile/17775815405114633499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155582894303189322006-08-14T15:14:00.000-04:002006-08-14T15:14:00.000-04:00Yes, to me this is an extremely generic YA fantasy...Yes, to me this is an extremely generic YA fantasy, plus a time machine. What makes it different from all the other YA fantasy out there? Highlight those differences in the query letter.braunhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00387344142594757730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155582567463619772006-08-14T15:09:00.000-04:002006-08-14T15:09:00.000-04:00Please, why is it important to state you have "jus...Please, why is it important to state you have "just completed?"<BR/>It risks sounding as if you've not done revisions.<BR/>Perhaps better to state the novel is complete at x thousand words?Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1155582070843763842006-08-14T15:01:00.000-04:002006-08-14T15:01:00.000-04:00So it's Harry Potter and the Time Machine. But if...So it's Harry Potter and the Time Machine. But if you have access to a time machine, why send your son 200 years into the future? Why not just go back and kill this Kazus fellow before he took over the world? Or at least send Harry, er Oliver, not quite so far in the future so he'll be full-grown when Daddy shows up to take over the universe again.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com