tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post9092242969713170988..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 1316Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-48437733685419862022016-05-29T21:17:00.266-04:002016-05-29T21:17:00.266-04:00Thank you everyone for the comments.
Thank you E...Thank you everyone for the comments. <br /><br />Thank you EE for your critique because it is priceless. Last query I submitted I wept for weeks (and that novel is in a drawer where it belongs), but this time around, I'm laughing. <br /><br />davefragments, I like that idea but want to stay out of the LGBT market. Not really my scene.<br /><br />To clear things up, I'm not a man. And that comment really made me laugh.<br /><br />Alaska, the prince I knew was one of Frederic Prinz von Anhalt's man children, Prince Oliver Leopold of Anhalt. Here is a link to who he is--probably will need to translate if you don't read German: http://www.express.de/news/oliver-leopold-von-anhalt-prinz-grosskotz-zeigt-uns-sein-schrilles-leben-5889862. And I'll leave that out of the query!<br /><br />I will take all suggestions, apply them, and resubmit in a month or two. Thanks again.CavalierdeNuithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09862976676163347369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-27551811899740451432016-05-27T18:11:46.398-04:002016-05-27T18:11:46.398-04:00What I want to know is: What's the inciting ev...What I want to know is: What's the inciting event? Why are all these groups suddenly going after this ancient bottle of blood at once? Did someone translate the Voynich Manuscript and discover the location? Have the Russians (one of whom is named Alexei — every novel with Russians has one named Alexei) been funding archaeological digs in Central America all this time, and maybe the vampires and Freemasons have been watching and waiting until a big discovery was made?Matthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07681932402948885690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-14355768755189388002016-05-26T22:01:15.369-04:002016-05-26T22:01:15.369-04:00Well, I googled this prince. He seems not to have ...Well, I googled this prince. He seems not to have been born a prince but to have been adopted as an adult, and he is a prince of Germany a country that has no royalty or nobility. And now, wikipedia tells me, he goes around adopting more adult men who pay him $2 million so that they can be princes too. He also sells knighthoods for $50k.<br /><br />So I'm left wondering whether, now that the internet exists and it's easy to find out Germany doesn't have royal titles, that gambit is still paying off for him.<br /><br />On the other hand, we all knew that about Germany, right?<br /><br />Wikipedia also says he was Zsazsa Gabor's eighth or ninth husband, and once ran a brothel. <br /><br />Now I do have a point here, you'll be relieved to know. I find the only people who ever want to know where I get the ideas for my books are either doing an assignment for school, or making polite conversation. Best to leave this out. At best it's irrelevant and uses up valuable word-count; at worst distracting.<br /><br /><br /><br />AlaskaRavenclawnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-41731912571911998932016-05-26T20:42:28.254-04:002016-05-26T20:42:28.254-04:00After the first sentence, my best guess was that H...After the first sentence, my best guess was that Hugh was a pagan god with amnesia and somehow the story was going to involve him trading his godhood to the vampire for something that would get his memory back, or something along those lines. Teaming up on a quest to fulfill totally different goals seems a bit random.<br /><br />I think there are too many things thrown in here without any adequate explanations. It feels hectic and cluttered and I still don't really know what the book's about.<br /><br />Also, all the mentions of stuff Hugh wishes he could remember bugged me because his memory of what he wanted to remember seemed awfully specific for someone who couldn't remember them.<br /><br />"They also have girlfriends which are barely important enough to include in the story which is how I know you're a man." <-- Haha, yeah, this too.SBnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-80618022589466982792016-05-26T16:08:09.308-04:002016-05-26T16:08:09.308-04:00I'd suggest what EE suggested, which is to tie...I'd suggest what EE suggested, which is to tie this together a bit more. Right now you have Hugh and Oliver both apparently wanting different things. It sounds like they travel underground in order to fight ghosts, other vampires, Russians, and Freemasons like some underground fight club. But that isn't really the reason. They go underground to retrieve a bottle of powerful blood, but in order to get it they have to fight those people.<br /><br />They also have girlfriends which are barely important enough to include in the story which is how I know you're a man.<br /><br />Anyway, why should I care that a couple of vampires get to become gods? Well, less people on earth being turned into vampires, I suppose. Seems like there are a lot of vampires left, though. <br />I'd focus on how they're going to save the world, and if they end up with the blood, it's like a reward for saving the world from the nefarious plans of others.St0n3hengehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08504412781917592790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-36602412489347943242016-05-26T13:20:20.833-04:002016-05-26T13:20:20.833-04:00It does seem amazing that the bottle of blood lets...It does seem amazing that the bottle of blood lets some become gods and others destroy humanity, etc. My guess is you rub the bottle and Dracula comes out and grants you three wishes.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-83705753262743004652016-05-26T12:26:23.136-04:002016-05-26T12:26:23.136-04:00Specific details are your friend. Things like wha...Specific details are your friend. Things like what the various people can do with this bottle of blood that allows for some many different nefarious purposes. Although, usually when one has a mcguffin, everyone wants it either for the same reason or to keep each other from getting it for the same reason which keeps the story organized.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-87660289470707400732016-05-26T11:20:56.362-04:002016-05-26T11:20:56.362-04:00I had an usual thought this morning.
Why don'...I had an usual thought this morning. <br />Why don't you make Hugh and Oliver into women and their immorality quest is to become queens of the lesbian vampires that rule the universe. <br />This isn't a critique but only a suggestion. davefragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12151700370200628940noreply@blogger.com