tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post9088552394962110680..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Synopsis 52Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-8525029408679697122016-09-05T20:08:07.861-04:002016-09-05T20:08:07.861-04:00Something about this left me feeling really uneasy...Something about this left me feeling really uneasy. All the women in Will's life are described as either abandoning him, being ferocious, being "Whacko," or making half-baked decisions.... until he meets a four year old girl that he wants to spend all of his time with. It made me think that he's distrustful of/hateful toward adult women, and fetishizes the innocence of a four year old girl.<br /><br />I'm sorry, I'm really not trying to be harsh, but I can't be the only one feeling like Will shouldn't be left alone with that child. If that wasn't your intention, I would take a long look at how Will views the women in his life. Not one of them sounded like a real person to me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-66847979018133192872016-08-07T22:18:01.782-04:002016-08-07T22:18:01.782-04:00The Ada thing makes me think this is a manic pixie...The Ada thing makes me think this is a manic pixie dream girl story, to which I say, no thank you.SBnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-70568175592784753312016-08-05T17:22:47.736-04:002016-08-05T17:22:47.736-04:00The sunstroke thing was me trying to guess at a lo...The sunstroke thing was me trying to guess at a logical ending since none was provided, probably dredged up from my subconscious by word association with sunflowers.<br /><br />Good luck finishing your book. Don't forget to read over your draft and revise where necessary.Anonymous 8/1 5:39noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-14537044571965126072016-08-05T06:33:39.107-04:002016-08-05T06:33:39.107-04:00Hey I'm the person writing this, Anonymous on ...Hey I'm the person writing this, Anonymous on the 1/8 (wish I had your name), thank you for the detailed crit, it's the most useful thing here. i had no idea how unclear some of this actually was and tbh when I wrote the synopsis (the finished shorter one) I hadn't defined the plot properly, it was more of a "it will go something like this", so it must come across that way in it's lack of clarity - lol. I haven't even finished the draft of the book but I thought doing this on EE would give me advice before I'd written a whole dud book. But um where on earth did you get the sunstroke thing? In the word disaster?<br /><br />back to the drawing board.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-15885234630362687462016-08-02T12:59:30.627-04:002016-08-02T12:59:30.627-04:00Your synopsis was telling us all about the charact...Your synopsis was telling us all about the characters themselves, not what actually happens in the story. It leads me to suspect that the story itself is largely backstory, not actual adventure. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-62110864155099292442016-08-01T18:11:59.963-04:002016-08-01T18:11:59.963-04:00This sounds like a story full of unpleasant people...This sounds like a story full of unpleasant people who don't like each other.AlaskaRavenclawnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-83444371735089483212016-08-01T17:39:46.480-04:002016-08-01T17:39:46.480-04:00fwiw I had to keep reminding myself Kaylen was a g...fwiw I had to keep reminding myself Kaylen was a guy since it's usually a girl's name.<br /><br />If this is supposed to be a synopsis, you need to tell the end of the story.<br /><br />Something that might help with the word limit is to tell the story as basically as you can, then start adding explanatory details as needed. From what I get out of what you have it would go something like:<br /><br />Will attempts to commit suicide after his fiance leaves him. Faced with being committed to a mental ward, he moves in with his estranged step-brother. He slowly begins to rediscover joy in life as he befriends his niece. Unfortunately, Will's worried boss thinks what he needs is another woman and introduces Will to his hedonistic cousin. A blurred week of parties ends with Will stumbling home to find his niece passed out from sunstroke. He rushed her to the hospital. She dies and he commits suicide out of guilt/She lives and he feels like he's successful again so he turns his relationships around and lives HEA.<br /><br />Tidy it up so it's closer to what the book is about, then fill in the most important details until you hit the word limit. <br /><br />Make sure you are using words correctly and that your pronoun antecedents are clear.<br /><br />Good luckAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com