tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post8889352877114101896..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 1340Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-33959483285440569372017-01-07T21:33:46.129-05:002017-01-07T21:33:46.129-05:00Yeah, it's tricky, I know. But when you say &q...Yeah, it's tricky, I know. But when you say "learn the physics," that can mean a lot of things. It's too vague for me to form a picture in my head. One or two one-sentence examples could help.<br />For instance, in Minecraft, the only blocks that fall are sand and gravel. A block of glass will happily stay suspended in midair for all the world to see. That's physics I had to learn.<br /><br />As far as parapsychology, I'm old enough to automatically think the X Files. It also covers a lot of ground.<br />What you mentioned specifically is telekinesis, but I think it's been pointed out that we don't know if this is Carrie-level stuff here. Does it start by bending spoons? Does he learn to start fires with his mind?<br /><br />Everyone has a different image of what certain words mean. You know your book because you wrote it. We don't. That's why you have to make it clearer.<br /><br /><br />St0n3hengehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08504412781917592790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-29492595591439287062017-01-07T10:36:01.111-05:002017-01-07T10:36:01.111-05:00He actually does learn to use his powers by the en...He actually does learn to use his powers by the end of the book. And his training - that's what I've mentioned: learn the physics, parapsychology - that's part of the training. I think mentioning specific incidents would be too much for the query, don't you think? That would be getting into really small details.<br />And he accomplishes the knowledge about his powers, that only happens in the end.E.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-2840174917638602372017-01-07T01:05:10.778-05:002017-01-07T01:05:10.778-05:00I think Anon. 5:08 hit it on the head here.
If he...I think Anon. 5:08 hit it on the head here.<br /><br />If he learns to use his powers at least some during the book, that could be cool, but you say he doesn't. So, that's out.<br /><br />It sounds like he doesn't actually get to the saving of his mom until the end of the book or even the next book. So, that's out.<br /><br />The rest is training. Well, what does that look like? How does he train? Any specific incidents? Any interesting instructors or other students?<br />You've told us what the book is supposed to be about, but not what it's actually like.St0n3hengehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08504412781917592790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-66147646239515512352017-01-06T17:08:57.268-05:002017-01-06T17:08:57.268-05:00From your comments, it sounds like Daniel doesn...From your comments, it sounds like Daniel doesn't find his mother and rescue her in this book.<br /><br />What does Daniel accomplish by the end of the book? The query needs to focus on that story, not on what happens later in a different book.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-53867441016955062162017-01-06T14:48:34.788-05:002017-01-06T14:48:34.788-05:00Unless he has an Oedipus complex and his mom had h...Unless he has an Oedipus complex and his mom had him really young...CavalierdeNuithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09862976676163347369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-6147468222946728832017-01-06T03:46:50.715-05:002017-01-06T03:46:50.715-05:00AA, that's the book I wrote... It just might b...AA, that's the book I wrote... It just might be one of those books. I love this genre, so this is the reason I wrote it. :-( [He discovers the powers in the end, not the beginning, if it makes any difference..]<br />What do you suggest "to show that the book is really good"?E.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-23758595231100069662017-01-06T01:48:45.226-05:002017-01-06T01:48:45.226-05:00This sounds more like middle grade. Rescuing one&#...This sounds more like middle grade. Rescuing one's mother is sweet, but not really exciting. Does Daniel have a love interest? Would be hot and more YA if she were a buxom demon.CavalierdeNuithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09862976676163347369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-57603309337029861682017-01-05T21:13:21.862-05:002017-01-05T21:13:21.862-05:00It sounds interesting. However, there are TONS of ...It sounds interesting. However, there are TONS of books out there with this combination of elements: "Teenager discovers he has magical/special powers" + "teenager travels to magical land to save kidnapped family member." I mean, a LOT. I'm thinking whatever happens in this book better be spectacular. But you're saying it's mostly his training? Unless this training is the most interesting thing I've ever read I can't see foisting another one of these books on the general public.<br /><br />Maybe I'm wrong, but if I am, your query needs to show that the book is really good. Otherwise you're going to get, "Not another one of these!" which is never the reaction you want.St0n3hengehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08504412781917592790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-60017452566913665062017-01-05T20:09:49.988-05:002017-01-05T20:09:49.988-05:00One thought that came to mind is just how sure is ...One thought that came to mind is just how sure is Daniel that the mother he went dimension hopping for really is his mother? After all, since we are dimension hopping, how do we know it isn't this parallel dimension's version of his mother?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-89857189617948256432017-01-05T06:14:27.143-05:002017-01-05T06:14:27.143-05:00Thank you for your comments. I realize now that I ...Thank you for your comments. I realize now that I hit the send button too soon. It should be "inoculate...against demon diseases" and not just against demons (this way, it does sound strange). But this book doesn't concentrate on how he will find his mother, only how he will train to gain the ability to fight the demon, so later on he will find his mother. <br />"Daniel is prepared" - I see this is confusing, because you thought that his training goes quickly and "he is prepared" means he is prepared now, but that's not what I meant. I meant "he is prepared to do anything to become a demon slayer." E.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-35937853048182321652017-01-04T21:38:47.047-05:002017-01-04T21:38:47.047-05:00It does seem like it might have been a better idea...It does seem like it might have been a better idea for Asmodeus to orchestrate Daniel's kidnapping before he has a chance to figure out how to use his tele-whatsis.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com