tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post8659534423600250135..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 1134Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-90940280514163203322013-07-17T00:03:35.767-04:002013-07-17T00:03:35.767-04:00Thanks for the comments, everyone! It's been v...Thanks for the comments, everyone! It's been very helpful. Actually, since I submitted this, not only did I rewrite the query letter (twice!) but I changed/cut the beginning by a lot so that the story begins in real time, rather than in the past (which is something I noticed someone commented on here). Also, at the suggestion of my editor, I've changed the circumstances of the actual spell being placed to make them more of an accident, as Marling has never been good at magic in the first place. (Was not the top of her class, that's for sure, but she could tell you quite a lot about the personal lives of a few of her fellow witches!)<br /><br />Thanks for your help, though, and I realize that the query is confusing as it stands. Many of the things you asked about are fully explain in the story... not so much in the query! I will go over it again very soon and shine it up some more! :)Knoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-41134354243375414302013-06-16T01:42:27.359-04:002013-06-16T01:42:27.359-04:00I think you're too wrapped up in the excitemen...I think you're too wrapped up in the excitement of your own book. This is not a bad thing, but it does makes it difficult to objectify. Read EE's notes and the comments, and apply them. You will have a much stronger story.CavalierdeNuithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09862976676163347369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-67469761022171338692013-06-13T19:17:16.749-04:002013-06-13T19:17:16.749-04:00As everyone else says, nice voice, but the chain o...As everyone else says, nice voice, but the chain of events is a scatter of broken links. <br />I sort of feel that the whole backstory business with Victor can be left until he shows up in the plot - Marling goes to Russia and discovers that the man behind the disappearances is the fae prince she loved and dumped. The unlove spell seems more like a complication to the plot than something that moves the action. batgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15143310557906978680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-85914086803583185142013-06-13T17:01:41.533-04:002013-06-13T17:01:41.533-04:00She gives up on magic. It's like Samantha on B...She gives up on magic. It's like Samantha on Bewitched. Who, when push came to shove, used magic. And push came to shove every five minutes.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-8223246336969813142013-06-13T16:57:20.179-04:002013-06-13T16:57:20.179-04:00There's an awful lot of things going on, none ...There's an awful lot of things going on, none of which are fully explained. Marling gives up being a witch. How? Isn't that an essential part of her nature?<br /><br />She was a witch when she fell for Viktor, but didn't detect his fae ancestry? Again, how? If the Witch/Fae dynamic is an issue, then she must at some physical level be a witch, so we're right back at problem #1, ie, how can she quit being something which is inherently a part of her?<br /><br />You're going to have to rectify that conundrum for Marling to have a fighting chance.<br /><br />khazar-khumnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-87451730231453301862013-06-13T15:59:00.297-04:002013-06-13T15:59:00.297-04:00I could almost see the plot setup making sense if ...I could almost see the plot setup making sense if she was trying for an ordinary love spell and she flubs it leading to the ending of her relationship and her giving up magic.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-81391196027617250012013-06-13T15:37:58.308-04:002013-06-13T15:37:58.308-04:00I guess the problem I'm having with this is th...I guess the problem I'm having with this is that casting the Unlove Spell doesn't show us that Marling is impulsive. It shows us that Marling is TSTL.<br /><br />And that's not going to help us root for her.AlaskaRavenclawnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-82582606617908421262013-06-13T13:09:16.264-04:002013-06-13T13:09:16.264-04:00I like the voice, but I can't follow this at a...I like the voice, but I can't follow this at all. Try to rewrite with an eye toward cause and effect.150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-37609232110230713892013-06-13T13:03:59.641-04:002013-06-13T13:03:59.641-04:00Hi Author,
For me this is a compelling love story,...Hi Author,<br />For me this is a compelling love story, if you decide to ditch the magic and go with the story which can stand alone. <br /><br />Considering Evil is perhaps (and I could be wrong) a touch jaded in editor/love matches and stories thereof I haven't read anything (but I live in Asia) along those lines.Evil is clearly swamped/over run with them critters. <br /><br />I'd love to read this without the magic. Too many problems with it. Just a few thoughts to chaw on. <br /><br />Good luck,<br />Wilkins MacQueenAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-49759319204231958252013-06-13T12:17:36.960-04:002013-06-13T12:17:36.960-04:00Hi author!
While this concept sound fun, I'm ...Hi author! <br />While this concept sound fun, I'm having a bit of trouble with the content.<br /><br />A former witch is going to Russia to save missing witches, who may or may not be alive, and she can do this how? She didn't finish her training and she's not been practicing for 5 years. It's like me dusting off my grade-school clarinet and auditioning for the philharmonic.<br /><br />She is a publishing person who doesn't read books to completion (which totally sounds plausible), but if she neglected her witch studies as described how does she <b>learn</b> of the witch/Fae rift? <br /><br />Why Russia? Plenty of ex-pats live in NY. How in-tune is Marling with the witch news network after self-exile for five years? Also, a continent away...dunno. Setting shifts feel outré for urban fantasy.<br /><br />How is Marling supposed to woo fairy prince Viktor? That seems like a big part of the story to me. She has to recognize her feelings, but there's no indication that he'd reciprocate if she declared her affection.<br /><br />Basically, I can't get behind a heroine who's so flighty that she'd put a ridiculous curse on herself, inexplicably dash her chance a love, give up on her talents on a whim, only to become a publishing house recluse.<br /><br />If this is who Marting is, she's TSTL.<br /><br />I *hope* she is not, and that this query is terribly unflattering to her character. You know, like those tabloid photos of Jessica Simpson with no makeup on...<br /><br />Fix this girl up and give us something to root for here. Marting needs you!<br /><br /><br /><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18159799725109784001noreply@blogger.com