tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post8026243181810912857..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: New Beginning 1080Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-68210475118486775532018-05-17T08:19:31.032-04:002018-05-17T08:19:31.032-04:00Thanks all for comments.
Most people in Asia don...Thanks all for comments. <br /><br />Most people in Asia don't know where/what Laos is unless you say Low. As in bow (from the waist), not bow like in a hair thingy.. Small point. Mr. F - very cool. <br /><br />Wilk/MacAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-7273661934630754212018-05-15T09:47:59.887-04:002018-05-15T09:47:59.887-04:00I think most people know how to pronounce Laos any...I think most people know how to pronounce Laos anyway.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-46299800047925230442018-05-15T00:12:04.894-04:002018-05-15T00:12:04.894-04:00Bob Seger spells it Katmandu. Of course it could b...Bob Seger spells it Katmandu. Of course it could be Catman do. As in, what does Catman do? And does Catwoman know?<br /><br />StOn, We were in Death Valley last year. Didn't see any Taxis. Mister Furkleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07156977719916770984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-59012644483151796402018-05-14T01:02:15.641-04:002018-05-14T01:02:15.641-04:00"I was in a taxi in Asia"...This is str..."I was in a taxi in Asia"...This is strange. Most people would just say where they were. It's sort of like saying, "I was in a taxi in North America..." It doesn't really set the location. It could be Manitoba or Death Valley.<br /><br />I, also, thought the driver was going to get killed for it. Took me a minute.<br /><br />"Emerging from what? Wish I knew." You don't really wax philosophical when you find a buttload of money. Generally your mind is racing.<br /><br />"after fighting over the over charge..." Try not to use the same word two different ways in the same sentence. It confuses the mind. It's like saying, "The teacher bought a sub for himself and the sub." <br /><br />"a Sherpa team of men" Sherpa teams are generally men. You can just say Sherpa team.<br /><br />"Laos (pronounced Low as in allowed) enough." I don't understand this, and it is not technically a sentence.<br /><br />I feel this is the weakest of your recent openings.<br />St0n3hengehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08504412781917592790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-85408152225279012262018-05-13T18:02:09.360-04:002018-05-13T18:02:09.360-04:00If your goal is to see how many readers you can of...If your goal is to see how many readers you can offend on page one, you're hitting it out of the park.<br />The problem with this approach is it's going to leave you with a paucity of readers for page two.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-28955894739346822792018-05-13T12:14:50.169-04:002018-05-13T12:14:50.169-04:00Sorry, but this opening does not grab me at all. ...Sorry, but this opening does not grab me at all. I don't mind unlikeable characters if they're interesting, but your narrator is simply unlikeable -- whining about his life and nattering on about what to do with an undeserved pile of cash (like the guy next to me on the bus last week who droned on about his shitty life and what he'd do if he won the lottery). Your job as an author is to make me care about what happens to the character, what happens next in the story -- and right now I don't. <br /><br />Second strike for me is that the details sound off. Like, if the money is only enough for a year in a 'shit hole' country, it's not 'a fortune'. Or, if the narrator is well-traveled in Asia, they will know getting to Kathmandu by air is done by thousands of tourists every day, on dozens of international flights. The landing is no trickier than many other international airports. <br /><br />In my humble opinion, as always. IMHOnoreply@blogger.com