tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post7500986629987432911..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 788Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-78200285105460577602010-06-28T23:03:56.131-04:002010-06-28T23:03:56.131-04:00I don't think it's too bad for the hero...I don't think it's too bad for the hero's friends to have to save him afterwards--as long as he's already defeated the main villain. It seems to happen a lot.<br /><br />You could probably do all this without the DNA stuff. Saying the fox finds a way to create animals that will serve/fight for/obey him, should get the point across.<br /><br />Several 10-year-olds I know have been recently obsessed with the Redwall books, and I know people who are getting into the Percy Jackson books at an only slightly older age. And I read Ender's Game to my brother when he was only 7 or so (granted, I abridged some parts). They may or may not understand some of the book, but fighting that leans towards swords and away from blood seems to be OK.<br /><br />The level, often, isn't in the fighting; it's in how graphic it is. To compare, read <a href="http://www.online-literature.com/hardy/tess_urbervilles/11/" rel="nofollow">Thomas Hardy's description of rape.</a> It's about as subtle as you can get on that subject._*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-53200710107890081222010-06-27T11:19:40.703-04:002010-06-27T11:19:40.703-04:00Here's a revison:
Josh, the new kid in town, ...Here's a revison:<br /><br />Josh, the new kid in town, is desperate for friends. Aged 12, he finds friends in the forest where animals talk. He shares this secret world with two new best human friends who promise to keep the secret of the chatty forest dwellers.<br /><br />As power-crazy Fox turns the forest animals into allies, Josh learns Fox took his new best friends hostage. Now the war is on. As Joshua goes into battle with Fox, he is hurt. He thinks he may be dying. Josh's friends escape, kill the evil fox, save Josh and the new kid who needed friends <br /><br />Trying to help, BibiAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-81827062511422397922010-06-26T21:02:06.721-04:002010-06-26T21:02:06.721-04:00Hmm, tough one. Much as I want to say the plot lea...Hmm, tough one. Much as I want to say the plot leaves something to be desired, this could work depending on the quality of the actual book and the nature of the "warfare".<br /><br />Sidenote: The Fox is the ultra-evil animal in Japanese mythology, much as we might view the wolf. /sidenote<br /><br />I think there's a genre mismatch. You've got talking animals, which is very fantasy, yet you're trying to rationalize it with talk of DNA. Also, how does the evil fox use his DNA to secretly transform other creatures?<br /><br />And are you sure that your bad guy, this fox, isn't a caricature of a bad guy? Is he just there to provide opposition or does he have an actual goal? If I were writing this, I'd probably co-mingle the fox's goals with the arrival of Joshua somehow.<br /><br />The story also seems a bit one-dimensional and a bit contrived: It seems like Joshua's two friends exist merely to keep him from running away from the forest when things get rough.Anenomehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13071300425459055773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-62062536059305285962010-06-25T18:28:10.503-04:002010-06-25T18:28:10.503-04:00The Absolutely Fabulous Forest is filled with neur...The <i><b>Absolutely Fabulous Forest</b></i> is filled with neurotic, chain-smoking, hard-drinking, sex-obsessed animals.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-53241462534275110442010-06-25T15:16:05.921-04:002010-06-25T15:16:05.921-04:00If this is the "battle" level of the Nar...If this is the "battle" level of the Narnia movies, then it would be OK for kids. <br /><br />You need for boys and girls to identify with Joshua and imagine that they are him on his adventure. That's what will attract the MG crowd. They want to be part of the fantasy, to imagine themselves in the hero's role.<br /><br />That's how the query needs to be written. Joshua befriends talking forest critters but when he discovers an evil plot to eliminate humanity, he must lead an army of critters to defeat the evil.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-69238270783831884522010-06-25T15:05:27.053-04:002010-06-25T15:05:27.053-04:00The fox transforms thousands of animals into allie...The fox transforms thousands of animals into allies so they can rule the forest. How many thousands of animals are left to be ruled? This is quite a forest. Joshua rallies "his comrades." Are these animal or human comrades? What about the "two unlikely friends" Joshua rescues -- human or not? I mean, with talking animals who wage biological warfare, anything is possible.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-2124137010634808892010-06-25T14:01:00.330-04:002010-06-25T14:01:00.330-04:00Not sure kids need to see or read about violence e...<i>Not sure kids need to see or read about violence especially to other children when when they're 8, 9, 10.</i><br /><br />Better keep 'em away from <i>Little Red Riding Hood,</i> then. Or <i>Hansel and Gretel</i>. Or <i>The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe...</i>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-54342424983178624752010-06-25T13:03:55.328-04:002010-06-25T13:03:55.328-04:00"If someone I rescued was that careless, I..."If someone I rescued was that careless, I'd just say, Screw you, and worry about my own safety"<br /><br />Too funny!<br /><br />The DNA-melded animals is a good hook. It got me, but are middle graders going to get it? Just food for thought.<br /><br />I agree with EE about the bloody war. I rewatched "Hook" recently and was reminded of all the hoopla when Rufio is murdered by Hook near the end. Not sure kids need to see or read about violence especially to other children when when they're 8, 9, 10.Stephen Prosapiohttp://www.prosapio.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-75342102517650865652010-06-25T11:21:43.910-04:002010-06-25T11:21:43.910-04:00Hey! I remember this one from "The Public Que...Hey! I remember this one from "The Public Query Slushpile." Sounds like a cute story.Jill Cooknoreply@blogger.com