tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post715120483451124141..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 831Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-90327321272347539582010-10-13T21:53:56.394-04:002010-10-13T21:53:56.394-04:00Random, but I'm intrigued by the phrase "...Random, but I'm intrigued by the phrase "too invaluable". Generally, saying something is invaluable is enough, but if it's TOO invaluable, it almost becomes sinister... like, the monkey's paw was TOO invaluable. Tho' misfortune 'twas all found when asked it wishes most profound, still none could stay their tongue so long as monkey's paw called siren song... It was invaluable... perhaps, TOO invaluable...<br /><br />I think you could do more to tell the story. Right now it sounds like, "It's a story about a guy who's trying to catch the serial killer who murdered his sister, and the guy leaves Alice in Wonderland clues behind. Oh and this other guy". Maybe you could tell it in a little more of a compelling way?Joe Gnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-31320073019506602532010-10-13T20:38:33.090-04:002010-10-13T20:38:33.090-04:00This isn't bad. I don't *think* you have ...This isn't bad. I don't *think* you have to differentiate this story from all the other psychotic serial killers stories out there, but it would be helpful. <br /><br />I read a commentary recently from an author who was bemoaning the fact that the reviews for his last book was not as positive as he would like. The major complaint of the critics was the main motivation of the MC was revenge.<br /><br />He didn't think that was fair and that revenge was a perfectly good explanation for the mayhem the MC causes. He seemed to be quite passionate about this because he went on and on. <br /><br />I haven't read the book so I don't have an opinion. I will read it soon, however. <br /><br />Here is my point - revenge does seem a bit shallow. I would be more sympathetic to Emil if his motivation was to prevent the killer from harming more children and/or so his sister can rest in peace and/or so he can move on with his life. (It would be quite frightening to know your would-be killer was still out there). <br /><br />All these explanations would be okay and perfectly normal. I wonder if it wouldn't be better to wrap the query with something more unique?<br /><br />I didn't like "confronting his past", that doesn't seem quite right for the situation. <br /><br />vkwvkwnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-20785681480574851772010-10-13T17:49:40.298-04:002010-10-13T17:49:40.298-04:00Thanks, Stephen. I almost want to write The Tale o...Thanks, Stephen. I almost want to write The Tale of Duncan Punkin, but I'd be afraid people might think it was political :). And it would be a hard sell for the middle grades market.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-9415614286279368592010-10-13T16:18:16.627-04:002010-10-13T16:18:16.627-04:00Are you using elements from "Wonderland"...Are you using elements from "Wonderland" and "Looking-glass" both? Most films, et al, are a mix of the two.<br /><br />It sounds like it's a clever take on the Jack thee Ripper scenario.Khazar-khumnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-57614506846321843392010-10-13T15:21:55.586-04:002010-10-13T15:21:55.586-04:00Not bad at all, if you follow EE's advice here...Not bad at all, if you follow EE's advice here. Not my genre, but I'm interested._*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-67374804788479755142010-10-13T14:24:36.564-04:002010-10-13T14:24:36.564-04:00Hmmmm. Interesting concept. I'm partially hook...Hmmmm. Interesting concept. I'm partially hooked. A few of the errors in the query make me a bit concerned that the writing might not be as polished as it needs to be. I would DEFINITELY use EE’s opening paragraph pitch.<br /><br />GTP 5 is hilarious. Duncan Punkin the serial killer President!Stephen Prosapiohttp://www.prosapio.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-76328597107049466512010-10-13T14:20:10.030-04:002010-10-13T14:20:10.030-04:00I like this plot and I agree with EE. What makes t...I like this plot and I agree with EE. What makes this novel different than other "psychotic killer on a rampage" stories?Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-36032709801049440792010-10-13T14:11:40.072-04:002010-10-13T14:11:40.072-04:00Evil Cheshire Editor!Evil Cheshire Editor!JBnoreply@blogger.com