tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post7122097993273738005..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 773Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-72856011061749126642010-05-27T19:55:12.468-04:002010-05-27T19:55:12.468-04:00"[Don't advertise your inability to make ..."[Don't advertise your inability to make a world you've created believable.]"<br /><br />That had me in stitches.Andyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00510025784216739256noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-35041607587887953032010-05-25T11:40:33.356-04:002010-05-25T11:40:33.356-04:00Unfortunately my query misrepresented my book. I k...Unfortunately my query misrepresented my book. I knew that this was the case from the moment the query was torn to shreds. <br />Bernita- you are correct and that is why I went with the despised "k". EE was right though, I used the word magic too much in the query.<br />Honestly, I have read Harry Potter. The love interest is not the book and the book does not talk. I have spent over a year editing and refining the book itself. The query is the part that I did not edit prior to sending. The feedback you all have provided has helped me find a new direction for the query letter.Landrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16099833600342085109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-65221883271017587822010-05-25T08:28:44.590-04:002010-05-25T08:28:44.590-04:00A small thing, but "magic" is usually sp...A small thing, but "magic" is usually spelled with a "k" among pagans and assorted wiccans etc. to differentiate the practise from stage magic.<br />It is, perhaps--though I haven't checked--an older,and therefore considered a more "authentic" spelling.Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-67539901233623754492010-05-25T03:42:42.473-04:002010-05-25T03:42:42.473-04:00Shades of Harry Potter, unfortunately. I hope you ...Shades of Harry Potter, unfortunately. I hope you know a potion's book features prominently in the 6th HP book, and that potions was Harry's best subject >_> Yes I read them <_<;;;<br /><br />Is there a secret magiKal shopping district in your story known as Rectagon Alley? I hope not :P<br /><br />Why "magik?" Implying true magic usually means using the variation with a 'C' in it, "magick."<br /><br />The name: Destin. Destiny. Limits you to YA genres--I agree with EE.<br /><br />Book named "Genevieve?" Please tell me the romance he's involved in later isn't with the book >_><br /><br />My last quibble: You say the book grants fantastic powers even a master would love to have. That's not how books work. <br /><br />There's a reason most wizard depictions show them as old and gray with three foot long beards, it's supposed to take a long time to learn! And it should be hard work learning it as well.M. G. E.https://www.blogger.com/profile/08995766358224581297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-32063563089508569472010-05-25T03:13:21.844-04:002010-05-25T03:13:21.844-04:00Nobody expects... the Nerian Inquisitor!!!!
Write...Nobody expects... the Nerian Inquisitor!!!!<br /><br />Writer, there's some really wacky phrasing in this query which leads me to think that the book would drive me up the wall. You should read more, and more diversely. Then come back and try this writing thing again. Like query, I 'spects like novel.Joe Gnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-36344795426880326102010-05-25T00:58:55.057-04:002010-05-25T00:58:55.057-04:00Author here.
Thank you for all of the constructiv...Author here. <br />Thank you for all of the constructive criticism, and I appreciate the ritual sacrifice. Now to fix this query and those "k's" in the special circle of hell.Landrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16099833600342085109noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-91049880165162346012010-05-24T21:24:37.838-04:002010-05-24T21:24:37.838-04:00I did come back like a bad penny...
Like Steve, I...I did come back like a bad penny... <br />Like Steve, I did like the idea that the book was able to talk to what's his name Destin (how about making it "Destry" and Genevieve rides again). <br /><br />Genevieve is the name of my favorite heroine in the Umbrellas of Cherbourg. But enough of picking on names. <br /><br />A fight between wizards is hardly something unique. A young wizard learning how to use magic is not new either. Think of the movie Dragonslayer. The talking book is different and Destin's interaction with the book is different. That's where your query should point. <br /><br />Dear Agent, I've got a crackerjack story of a fledgling wizard who discovers a new source of magical power -- a once all-powerful white witch cursed and transformed into book form. Together, they must defeat (the bad guy) and prevent magic from spreading willy-nilly and helter-skelter into the world. <br /><br />I don't know enough about your plot to use the right words but that gets my thoughts across. And the words need to snap and sparkle. Mine don't. <br /><br />One more thing, my initial comment basically said that unless this is a screamingly funny farce, you don't want people thinking of A Fish Called Wanda. In other words, Priscilla, Queen of the Desert cannot invoke thoughts of The Crying Game. Gone With The wind does not remind us of Hitchhikers Guide.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-74804605357585306902010-05-24T21:01:34.472-04:002010-05-24T21:01:34.472-04:00You need to be more specific, like this:
When Des...You need to be more specific, like this:<br /><br />When Destin Darious was going through his grandfather's attic, he came across a real treasure: Genevieve, a garrulous, happy-go-lucky book of magic spells. With her, Destin can do magik as never before. But to every wonderful happenstance, there is a downside. One day, while cheerily turning dandelions to lollipops with a wave of his hand, he's arrested by the Magik Police, who read him the Wizard's Code, stuff him in a smelly carriage, and haul him off to Aefre, the land of all things supernatural.<br /><br />Destin, once Genevieve bails him out, finds he's never loved another place more than Aefre and another "woman" more than Genevieve. Then somebody slips a lizard's tongue into his jar of newt lips, and his "wedding ring" makes the sky hail cow chips. Now everybody hates him, and even his faithful Genevieve won't speak to him. He promises her he'll prove himself by winning the upcoming Wizard Tournament--but he won't win unless he finds out who's trying to kill him and steal Genevieve.<br />---<br />So, be more specific.<br /><br />It also wouldn't hurt to watch out for things like naming alliteration, funny spellings, and sentence structure.<br /><br />So true, Steve, though I'd claim an exception for "faery" because of "fae."_*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-8724827063600579852010-05-24T19:59:06.287-04:002010-05-24T19:59:06.287-04:00If anyone wondered where I was, I've been out ...If anyone wondered where I was, I've been out digging a new, deeper, circle of Hell especially for people who spell "magic" with a "k" and "vampire" with a "y"... <br /><br />Anyway. Enough of my prejudices. I also thought the book might be sentient or something; could be worth clearing that point up. <br /><br />The outline you've got here is short on specifics, and it seems bit like a recitation of (unspecified) events, with not much to indicate how those events flow together. I'd suggest, too, toning the purple prose down to a light mauve - all these unknown threats and unbelievable worlds might look good on the back of the book's jacket, but are a little out of place in a letter to an agent. I'd replace them with some specifics about the plot if I were you.<br /><br />(Word verification: inglyche. I think I may have to dig out an annexe for that circle of Hell.... )Steve Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09836762265698458170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-61576757589439502882010-05-24T19:25:36.648-04:002010-05-24T19:25:36.648-04:00The book is called Genevieve? This is utterly ridi...The <i>book</i> is called Genevieve? This is utterly ridiculous to me. The only way I could see this working is if the book talks and this novel is for children.Rebecca Christiansenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03635706076314669496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-55442092748947372682010-05-24T17:19:41.196-04:002010-05-24T17:19:41.196-04:00Lol, I wish it had been about the gender-swapped c...Lol, I wish it had been about the gender-swapped captain.Unrepentant Escapisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14084297041989860942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-75939961362476502212010-05-24T17:10:14.338-04:002010-05-24T17:10:14.338-04:00Some issues with this one. Author, I suggest you c...Some issues with this one. Author, I suggest you clean up what EE suggests and consider reposting at Phoenix's blog for a second checkup.<br /><br />http://phoenixsullivan.blogspot.comStephen Prosapiohttp://www.prosapio.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-20953357789299126692010-05-24T14:51:03.854-04:002010-05-24T14:51:03.854-04:00Usually names don't bother me, but every time ...Usually names don't bother me, but every time I saw "Destin" I read it as "Desitin" - the diaper rash cream.Kimmer Petersenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10778927648983696753noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-51155739971305310912010-05-24T12:47:03.758-04:002010-05-24T12:47:03.758-04:00His experiences are marred by a growing, unknown t...<i>His experiences are marred by a growing, unknown threat and random attacks;</i><br />Reminded me of Michael Palin's character in A FISH CALLED WANDA as he sets about trying to kill an eye witness and ends up killing three Yorkshire terriers, one by one.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.com