tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post6282055228253280690..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 616Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-12190900417977794632009-10-07T07:58:22.077-04:002009-10-07T07:58:22.077-04:00Thanks Joanna, that means a lot :)
I'll defin...Thanks Joanna, that means a lot :)<br /><br />I'll definitely be taking Matthew's and Dave F's advice, though, when I'm re-editing (never realized how tough a query letter would be!). And Dave's probably right -- maybe it's time to do something different for a little bit and come back to it. Though with another little one on the way, not sure how much free time I'll have left ;-p<br /><br />Thanks again -- it's such a good feeling to have a website like this!<br /><br />(Dave, just to note, my story isn't as dark as No Country, but it isn't that happy of a go either -- especially near the end -- but thanks for the compliment!).Hadean Dragonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00263019814190059550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-87231165945806717002009-10-06T19:38:10.180-04:002009-10-06T19:38:10.180-04:00I can't help here, since I haven't figured...I can't help here, since I haven't figured out how to write decent query letters for my own stories. (Although I do think Momus needs to be explained somehow if he's going to be named.) All I can say is, if I saw this latest revision on the back of a book, I'd pick it up and start reading.Joannanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-21476182990122224142009-10-06T15:08:24.099-04:002009-10-06T15:08:24.099-04:00(I notice that synopses for The Road and Parable a...<i>(I notice that synopses for The Road and Parable are extremely simplistic with no actual details of any events during their long travels - is that the way I should be going about this? Just say that Aura's looking for her dad during mass chaos and runs into a few spots of trouble?)</i><br /><br />Exactly. The goal of a good query is to get someone interested in reading the book--That's it. You don't have to explain every twist and turn, just give us enough to make it enticing and logical. Save the details for the synopsis.<br /><br />I understand the urge to tell everything about your story, but hold back. When I hear, <br /><br /><i>In a post-apocalyptic world, Aura Keowne is looking for her father...</i><br /><br />I'm interested. Take it from there without making it too complicated. Focus on her quest to find her father (even if it's only part of a vast story) and wrap it up with her finally meeting her father but discovering that he is...<br /><br />That's my opinion. Good luck to you.Matthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07681932402948885690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-58131117676632684502009-10-06T11:34:35.761-04:002009-10-06T11:34:35.761-04:00You are way too close to the story to do this any ...You are way too close to the story to do this any justice. It's a forest and trees problem. Step back, write a short story about something drastically different. <br /><br />Writing a query is knowing what not to say about the story. <br /><br />Let's take your book examples. First Octavia Butler. Wikipedia has a page about it. Their plot synopsis is 99 words long. <br />I tried reading Cormac McCarthy's "Blood Meridian" and hit a wall. Months later, when I watched "No Country For Old Men" I figured out why I hit a wall (but that's not what we want to talk about). The synopsis takes 124 words. <br /><br />Right now, if I said to you, your story is about Aura and Jack's personal journey dealing with their past sins while trying to prevent society from crumbling into chaos, you would bring in a whole bunch of anthrax, memex, momus and gang stuff before getting to the RAWMESH. <br /><br />Do you see how that detail is too much detail? <br /><br />Now if I said to you, start out from the POV: In the future, civilization is held together by a virtual reality called RAWMESH. Street Gangs fight with corporations for rule of the cities. Then you would tell me about Aura trying to find her father and Jack trying to stop the fanatics. <br /><br />Again, the details get in the way of the description. <br /><br />Whatever your query looks like, it has to pick a character or a theme and then present the story from that. You are so close to the story right now that all the details come pouring out. <br /><br />You have to decide what your novel is about characters or themes and sell one of them in the query. I say that because trying to combine the two hasn't worked. Chances are it won't. Maybe a more limited effort might work better. <br /><br />There has to be a central theme to this story. McCarthy's was nihilistic existentialism. I suspect your themes are much happier -- forgiveness and redemption. (you're too bright and cheery to write something as bleak as "No Country for Old Men." That's meant as a complement. <br /><br />As for McCarthy and Butler writing queries, both writer were well established when they wrote the novels you mention. they sent them to their existing agents. I would dare to say that most first novels are not the complex, fantastical works of later novels.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-26208484076067964042009-10-06T01:00:10.261-04:002009-10-06T01:00:10.261-04:00Hmm, even just focusing on the main character was ...Hmm, even just focusing on the main character was confusing eh? Eep.<br /><br />The primary "villains" are both their own pasts (immoral military acts, drunk driving murder of a family, etc.) and the world that's falling apart around them -- think Octavia Butler's Parable of the Sower minus the hyper-empathy, or possible Cormac McCarthy's The Road -- though, admittedly, not even in the same league as either!<br /><br />The search for Aura's father is what keeps things tied together, and so I thought it was important to explain that (and why she couldn't find him).<br /><br />The rest are all bit players in the collapse of society. Memex is one of many gangs that spring up, Momus is the leader of a chaos-craved group (who obviously want to take things all the way), Green Forest are militant environmentalists, and the Protectors of the Lords Will is a government-funded Christian group who've set up "shelters" across the country...<br /><br />But as before, explaining all of that would be too much (and making 'lists' of things is just plain bad!).<br /><br />Natural disasters would just bring the big "How?" question (then I'd have to explain how taking down electronics would cause it which only confused everyone in the last query attempt). And really, I don't feel it's important for the novel (the who and why are though).<br /><br />With literally only a line left before my one page query spills over into a second page, I obviously can't explain things in /more/ detail. But my worry comes, if I simplify it even more (cut Momus and the encryption key), then it just seems like a book about Aura in a gang (which is only about 30% of it).<br /><br />How I wish I could read McCarthy's and Butler's query letters... *sigh*<br /><br />(I notice that synopses for The Road and Parable are extremely simplistic with no actual details of any events during their long travels - is that the way I should be going about this? Just say that Aura's looking for her dad during mass chaos and runs into a few spots of trouble?)Hadean Dragonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00263019814190059550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-45472616259898855242009-10-05T23:20:01.571-04:002009-10-05T23:20:01.571-04:00Your original post was before my time and I read y...Your original post was before my time and I read your new revision before anything else...It left me confused. I didn't understand what was going on until I read the revision posted by Phoenix.<br /><br />There were too many plot points to keep track of in so few words. Just keep it simple and follow the main characters journey. <br /><br />It sounds like it has potential.Matthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07681932402948885690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-53663020796650989012009-10-05T20:38:57.094-04:002009-10-05T20:38:57.094-04:00Anthrax is already virulent but it has to be breat...Anthrax is already virulent but it has to be breathed into the lungs. Aerosolized is the proper term for weaponized anthrax. An amazingly light and fluffy powder that disperses in air. It's like sneezing into face powder or flour but this stuff is smaller and lighter and fluffier. <br /><br />Now that being said, what the hell kind of weapon is that for a street gang? Or is that part of the Momus/Memex confusion. <br /><br />Are there two villains? One, a street gang and the other a pharmaceutical company. That would be OK. Are Green Forest and that Religious Faction perhaps the same wolves in different sheep's clothing? IF so, that would make the query easier to read. Eco-terrorists, Green Boom-booms and their religious arm, the Gaia Goons, would be plotting to destroy all technology, including the RAWMESH, the only communication tool left between the (what) war-torn cities (?) crumbling world economies (?) gray, dystopic post-nuclear badlands (?) Drugged and zombified populace (?)...<br /><br />I am guessing (not good for a query) that RAWMESH is the newest internet virtual reality thing.<br /><br />This always did sound like a fun story. Good luck.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-55035564911796557312009-10-05T19:58:19.554-04:002009-10-05T19:58:19.554-04:00You’ve cut out a lot of the background—maybe too m...You’ve cut out a lot of the background—maybe too much. Try something like: “When environmental terrorists crash the world’s technology, they accidentally trigger worldwide natural disasters and chaos [exterminating three endangered species and countless ecosystems in the process. Oops.].<br /><br />Aura Keowne, caught between rival New York gangs, picks sides. What she doesn’t know is that the gang she just joined is responsible for her biologist father’s disappearance and plans to use its kidnapped scientists to kick the conflict up a notch.”<br /><br />After that… uh. The stuff after that isn’t working, but I’m not sure why.<br /><br />Keep trying; this sounds like something I'd enjoy reading._*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-79243168749046618432009-10-05T19:52:33.384-04:002009-10-05T19:52:33.384-04:00I feel that there has been so much back story left...I feel that there has been so much back story left out the the query that there is no context for much of what you say. I felt completely lost for most of it.Kelsey (Dominique) Ridgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10646757546422013401noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-81798597839347256312009-10-05T19:15:37.647-04:002009-10-05T19:15:37.647-04:00Who or what is Momus? You seem to think we know.
...Who or what is Momus? You seem to think we know.<br /><br />She joins Memix, her father's kidnapped by Momus. Can you come up with less-similar-sounding names?<br /><br />Isn't anthrax deadly enough without spending time developing a new and improved version?<br /><br />When you say Aura and her friends Jack and Manolin follow separate paths, I assume three separate paths, but apparently Jack and Manolin follow the same path.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-44440985741756232012009-10-05T18:54:40.794-04:002009-10-05T18:54:40.794-04:00Okay, so it's many months later -- after revis...Okay, so it's many months later -- after revising the novel for the last(ish?) time, I'm finally ready to take that proverbial plunge. I've taken all of your advice (I hope), and used Phoenix's comment as a template, and came up with this... I hope the third time's the charm! (Thanks once again for all of your help, it's been wonderful).<br /><br />Dear [soandso],<br /><br />When an attack against technology threatens to destabilize the world, a group of friends must confront both rising gangs and their own violent pasts.<br /><br />Fearing the growing chaos in New York, Aura Keowne and her friends Jack and Manolin follow separate paths in order to survive. Aura attempts to find her estranged father by joining Memex, one of the most brutal Manhattan gangs, but becomes haunted by demons from her military past. Unbeknownst to her, her father and other biologists have been kidnapped by Momus in order to create a new virulent form of anthrax. Meanwhile, Jack and Manolin encounter a growing religious movement whose glossy exterior hides its close ties to the Green Forest terrorist group and its own dark intentions.<br /><br />In the virtual Rawmesh world, the only surviving means of communication, Aura learns that a troubled teenager named Rain has found the encryption key that will stop Green Forest's assault on technology. When Rain chooses to sacrifice her life to implant the key, Aura feels that the world may have already deteriorated too far to be saved. She and her friends, struggling to find each other in a world gone insane, discover that Rawmesh may be hiding secrets of its own.<br /><br />Complete at 89,000 words, RAWMESH is a standalone science fiction novel with series potential. My degrees in anthropology and computer science have shaped this vision of how people and societies are affected by technology. Additionally, I have presented papers on virtual realities and cyber-security at several academic conferences. I wish to request representation from you because [other represented authors, etc.].<br /><br />Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.<br /><br />Sincerely,Hadean Dragonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00263019814190059550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-73112463620141778742009-04-05T19:47:00.000-04:002009-04-05T19:47:00.000-04:00Thanks for all the help again everybody - definite...Thanks for all the help again everybody - definite food for thought. I think the example will definite help me, as well! I'll let you all know how it goes when I finally take that plunge...Hadean Dragonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00263019814190059550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-55731714952135170492009-04-04T18:10:00.000-04:002009-04-04T18:10:00.000-04:00Hi HD:Since the character drive seems a bit elusiv...Hi HD:<BR/><BR/>Since the character drive seems a bit elusive now, I thought I'd see how this would sound more plot-focused. Liberites, of course, taken...<BR/><BR/><I>When an anti-tech terrorist group brings down the world's communications systems, ex-marine Aura Keowne and her two closest friends, Jack and Manolin, chase separate paths in effort to survive crumbling conditions and chaos in the streets of New York. <BR/><BR/>Capitalizing on her violent military past, Aura joins one of the numerous gangs now staking claim to the city. Once indoctrinated, however, she discovers the gang has deep ties to Green Forest, the group responsible for bringing Rawmesh -- the foremost virtual network for business and entertainment -- to its knees. And Green Forest has just unleashed another attack that will cripple all forms of electronics across the globe.<BR/><BR/>Meanwhile, Jack and Manolin seek safety in a new religious order that's determined to reinvent the very nature of technology. Planning to force the rise of a leader-messiah who will use Rawmesh to resurrect civilization in its own image, these religious Seekers are using converts like Jack and Manolin to spread further dissention and unrest in a world already gone mad. <BR/><BR/>When Aura, Jack and Manolin reunite in the aftermath of Green Forest's latest attack, they discover clear evidence that the disabled Rawmesh may be trying to communicate. Only then do they realize that Rawmesh itself may hold the key to humanity's survival.<BR/><BR/>Complete at 85K words, RAWMESH is a standalone science fiction novel with series potential. My degrees in anthropology and computers helped shape this look at how people and societies are affected by technology. In addition, I have presented peer-reviewed papers concerning virtual realities and cyber-security at several conferences.<BR/><BR/>The first three chapters are attached. I look forward to sending you the rest.<BR/><BR/>Sincerely,</I>Phoenix Sullivanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03290349031002504007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-38060705986275543872009-04-04T14:04:00.000-04:002009-04-04T14:04:00.000-04:00This is really starting to move in the right direc...This is really starting to move in the right direction. You've left us enough of the world to go by, but made it clear that the story is really about Aura and her friends.<BR/><BR/>Now work on figuring out which details best support that story. <BR/><BR/>How important is Selene's disappearance? The event is never mentioned again, or connected to any of the future events. If it's not important, take it out. If it is, connect it to what happens to Aura.<BR/><BR/>Getting indoctrinated by a gang seems important, but we have no idea why this is something she'd do to keep safe. Give us a bit about Aura's emotional story--what about her made joining the gangs the thing to do when her friends made different choices? What does this do to her, and how does it change her? Where does it lead her? If that's not the pivotal event that changes her, tell us a bit about that instead.<BR/><BR/>Her friends' choices again need to be tied back into Aura's story. If it can't be done easily because it's peripheral or a subplot, take it out for now and see if you really need it there.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07713249922456726003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-39040060775163424112009-04-04T13:34:00.000-04:002009-04-04T13:34:00.000-04:00Thankfully, the novel isn't full of infodumps (a r...Thankfully, the novel isn't full of infodumps (a recently famous book from a popular author angered me so much with his infodumps, I forced myself to never do such a thing)...<BR/><BR/>I guess I tried to explain everything the previous comments asked me to explain... <BR/><BR/>How about something like (and this is right off the top of my head now):<BR/><BR/>While mourning the mysterious disappearance of her close friend Selene, Aura Keowne is warned about an attack against the world's technology that has gone awry. Somehow, the attack has caused havoc across the Earth as natural disasters increase and the primary form of business and entertainment, the virtual Rawmesh world, becomes dangerous to use. <BR/><BR/>Warned by her estranged father about the dangers of staying in New York, Aura and her friends Jack and Manolin try to escape only to learn that human civilization has already begun to crumble. Aura must come to terms with her violent military past as she becomes indoctrinated into a NYC gang as a means of finding a way out of the chaos. Having lost touch with Aura, Jack and Manolin become embroiled in a powerful Christian organization that forces them to rethink their own beliefs. In their struggles to survive a world going insane, they realize that Rawmesh itself may hold the key to humanity's survival.Hadean Dragonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00263019814190059550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-39652888460001472812009-04-04T12:29:00.000-04:002009-04-04T12:29:00.000-04:00My frank opinion is that you need to start over ag...My frank opinion is that you need to start over again. I don’t buy character-driven when you spend over half your query describing science and technology. Mention that terrorists are attacking the world’s technology, causing chaos everywhere, and focus on what happens to Aura. All I get from this is that a whole bunch of weird science stuff is making the world go crazy, and Aura and her friends have to survive. Oh, and the way you wrote it makes it sound a bit like Selene ran off with the dad.<BR/><BR/>Based on these queries, I wonder a bit about your novel. I’d advise you to look through the Turkey City Lexicon, especially Part 5; it sounds like you may have problems with infodumps.<BR/><BR/>I know there’s a story in there; keep working. Focus on the story, not the background, and you’ll do better. You’ve already improved by getting rid of some extraneous stuff, but can you give a little more of the plot without throwing in the kitchen sink? It’s Aura who matters, not the poles. You can dump all but the fringe of the science if you can make me interested in Aura._*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-7270495981271244082009-04-04T11:47:00.000-04:002009-04-04T11:47:00.000-04:00Hi Hadean Dragon,I think the world-building descri...Hi Hadean Dragon,<BR/><BR/>I think the world-building description is much better, and works to explain the setup. But... it's still all setup. There are two paragraphs of world-building and back story, and then a rush through the actual story of Aura and her friends.<BR/><BR/>I think you need to ask yourself what story are you really trying to tell with this query letter: the story of Rawmesh's destruction, or the story of Aura's struggle to survive in her drastically changing world? <BR/><BR/>I don't think you can try to tell both in a query letter. There just isn't enough room. Right now you are telling the story of Rawmesh. That's fine if that's the story you are going for, since science fiction can be more about the technology than the characters. My choice would be to go for Aura's story, since character stories are usually more compelling. Either way, though, make sure it's a conscious choice on your part.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07713249922456726003noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-47468408291892657232009-04-03T23:15:00.000-04:002009-04-03T23:15:00.000-04:00Upon reflection, this new version of the query def...Upon reflection, this new version of the query definitely sounds a lot better! Not perfect, but what is (other than Evil Editor)?<BR/><BR/><BR/>What would happen to a world of tenuous links and networks if militant environmentalists succeeded in destabilizing civilization itself? Rawmesh is an 85,000 word character-driven science fiction novel that is the first in a planned series.<BR/><BR/>While mourning the mysterious disappearance of her close friend Selene, Aura Keowne is warned about systematic attacks by an anti-tech group named Green Forest. Moving beyond physical violence, the group has found a means to destroy most of the world’s technology by forcing the Earth’s magnetic poles to flip far earlier than is natural. The reversal becomes unstable, though, and causes havoc across the Earth as natural disasters increase and communication systems collapse. The primary form of business and entertainment, the virtual Rawmesh world, becomes dangerous to use as anyone inside while a magnetic “fracture” hits would have their mind erased. Spurred by the vacuums of power left by failing states and governments, religious and territorial gangs begin rising in power.<BR/><BR/>Warned by her estranged father about the dangers of staying in New York, Aura and her friends Jack and Manolin escape only to quickly learn that human civilization has already begun to crumble. In their struggle to survive a world going insane, they realize that Rawmesh may be trying to communicate with them, and discover where Aura’s father and her friend Selene have truly been.<BR/><BR/>Rawmesh is shaped by my degrees in anthropology and computers, along with my fascination with how our lives and societies are affected by technology. In addition, I have presented peer-reviewed papers concerning virtual realities and cyber-security at several conferences.<BR/><BR/>I have attached the first three chapters for review and would be pleased to send you my completed manuscript. Thank you for your time and consideration, and I look forward to hearing from you.<BR/><BR/>Sincerely,Hadean Dragonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00263019814190059550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-47292677504885997202009-03-27T20:01:00.000-04:002009-03-27T20:01:00.000-04:00Excellent comments all, thanks! I'll definitely t...Excellent comments all, thanks! I'll definitely try and re-submit an updated query when I get a few minutes to write it up.Hadean Dragonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00263019814190059550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-6840877073641383272009-03-27T13:51:00.000-04:002009-03-27T13:51:00.000-04:00Sorry, I expressed myself badly. What I meant is ...Sorry, I expressed myself badly. What I meant is that I thought it was funny that science has apparently lapped a decades-old joke. To me "reversing the Earth's poles" immediately equals "Reverse the Polarity!" and I don't know how many others will think the same.<BR/><BR/>If this is supposed to be character based, you may just want to say "Anti-tech terrorists Green Forest have unleashed magnetic storms upon the Earth, destroying all electronic devices" or something along those lines.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-21931811491332832312009-03-27T08:42:00.000-04:002009-03-27T08:42:00.000-04:00Author: I once thought much as you, thinking the q...Author: I once thought much as you, thinking the query was just a formality and that the agent/editor was always interested in pages anyway. Consequently I put everything in the query hoping something piqued their interest.<BR/><BR/>Turns out if they don't really like your query, they won't even look at the pages. To that end, focused is better.Adam Heinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02225813532455467868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-52541874709891932372009-03-27T07:42:00.000-04:002009-03-27T07:42:00.000-04:00Adam: Definitely makes sense. I was being optimis...Adam: Definitely makes sense. I was being optimistic, and hoping that if the agent/publisher had questions, they could look at the example pages that I submitted (most of the questions asked - except for the boils - are answered in the first few pages of the book). But that's being too optimistic, and so I'll re-edit as you (and others) suggest... Thanks! <BR/><BR/>(Won't be the last you hear of Rawmesh! Ha!)Hadean Dragonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00263019814190059550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-9768853962674167612009-03-27T02:33:00.000-04:002009-03-27T02:33:00.000-04:00To Author: From the high level of detail in your ...To Author: From the high level of detail in your query I'm left in no doubt you have an imaginative story here. <BR/><BR/>As the others have said, though, you've given us too much of that detail in this query so that all the good ideas seem crammed into the small space you have to hook an agent, and the overriding feeling a reader gets is one of confusion.<BR/><BR/>To do your story justice, you need to concentrate the query a bit more on the main thrust of the story. <BR/><BR/>For a start, I found the detail that an anti-tech group called Green Forest wrote a virus that knocked out global communication not only sounded like backstory but was something we did not need to know in the query, particularly as your lead-in line. <BR/><BR/>I would suggest instead to make sure that the names of your main character/s are in the lead-in sentence, particularly in this very concept-driven query. The complexity of your plot will display better if it's hung off your characters. Character is important for hooking an agent.<BR/><BR/>As I said, sounds an intriguing story--so hope this helps!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-66804962713740542492009-03-26T22:27:00.000-04:002009-03-26T22:27:00.000-04:00I just KNEW Dave F. was going to mention that the ...I just KNEW Dave F. was going to mention that the poles have flipped many times (because they have).Elissa Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10727748060605823895noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-87872777695232324822009-03-26T21:31:00.000-04:002009-03-26T21:31:00.000-04:00Author, I figured (glad to see it was correct) tha...Author, I figured (glad to see it was correct) that the magnetic poles and all the other weird stuff had believable explanations in the novel. The problem is it's very difficult to fit all that explanation into the query in a believable way.<BR/><BR/>Basically, you have to scrap everything that isn't critical to the central plot and/or that raises questions. If you <I>can't</I> scrap it, then you need to support it as best as you can, but in as few words as you can. I hope that makes sense.<BR/><BR/>The query has to be just as believable as the novel, otherwise the agent/editor will question your credibility as an author.<BR/><BR/>(Anon 12:15 - I think you're confusing "believable" with some other word like "realistic". Believable means that there is enough reasonable explanation that the reader can buy into it. <I>Lord of the Rings</I> was believable. <I>How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days</I> was not.)Adam Heinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02225813532455467868noreply@blogger.com