tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post4852364733438887847..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 770Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-10174862443694161212010-05-23T14:59:12.859-04:002010-05-23T14:59:12.859-04:00I'm with Tom on this one. I went to Tokyo afte...I'm with Tom on this one. I went to Tokyo after 2 years studying Japanese and was shocked and depressed at how disorienting it was and how hard it was to find my way. It was scary and I was twice Eric's age! :)<br /><br />Having said that, it sounds like it needs rephrasing/gentling for the query since it's causing eyebrow raises.Sylviahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05925593802209715440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-17615651222037283952010-05-17T22:50:28.907-04:002010-05-17T22:50:28.907-04:00Where in the World/Japan is Eric McCoy?
Where in ...Where in the World/Japan is Eric McCoy?<br /><br />Where in the World is Eric McCoy's Mom?<br /><br />I think... a combination espionage/every one is set in a different country series is a great idea, and if you could come up with a hook title that you could reuse over and over, you have a pretty solid selling point on your hands. This is actually probably the sort of thing that's pretty hot right now.<br /><br />Probably want to think about elements that carry over from book to book (gadgets, a secret agency that works against the McCoy family, etc...)<br /><br />Probably leave the mom out of the title though...<br /><br />Good query.Joe Gnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-31131424056596575772010-05-17T20:03:49.737-04:002010-05-17T20:03:49.737-04:00I think you've got a great story and really go...I think you've got a great story and really good query letter. As far as plausibility goes, kids don't care. Adults get hung up on it. Kids want to be entertained and love the idea that a normal kid can be the hero even if the action is far fetched.Elizabeth Janettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09126364534598960883noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-5034341236615671302010-05-17T19:11:24.471-04:002010-05-17T19:11:24.471-04:00It's plausible that Eric can't read the si...It's plausible that Eric can't read the signs or find anyone who speaks English. I lived there. The signs are cryptic, and even though everyone studies English, few speak it, even in Tokyo.<br /><br />As for the query, do trim it but try not to sacrifice too much of the personal style. Lots of cute lines there, and if you cut them all out it would spoil the tone.Tom Bridgelandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13098048586042365606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-43818846625360857182010-05-17T18:09:41.390-04:002010-05-17T18:09:41.390-04:00Very nice! Cool concept and I love the "turn&...Very nice! Cool concept and I love the "turn" in the query. I was not expecting it.<br /><br />I tend to agree with EE about the title. It's like it's a good title for an adult book and even for a younger kids book but your age group? Not sure. Thing I'd be aware of though if you give it a "Spy Title" you'll lose that twist in the query that I liked. You should get the attention of agents with this and then maybe you can work with him/her on options.<br /><br />And when we're nitpicking on something like that...you've done something very right!<br />:-)Stephen Prosapiohttp://www.prosapio.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-12686448930471913852010-05-17T16:54:10.978-04:002010-05-17T16:54:10.978-04:00This is a good one, definitely, and I'd read i...This is a good one, definitely, and I'd read it.<br /><br />I'm debating with myself over how plausible I think this is--a result of a class with a former CIA officer. I assume she's with the CIA, spying on companies with shady connections and/or government contracts? If so, fine. If not, I'm iffy on the concept. But either way, I'm sure I could suspend disbelief long enough to read and enjoy it. It's not like the other spy novels I've enjoyed were much more plausible._*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-14251643762561806502010-05-17T15:51:33.951-04:002010-05-17T15:51:33.951-04:00I think you lose some of the impact by telling us ...I think you lose some of the impact by telling us too much about Eric's thought processes and how he can't speak Japanese, but I also like this quite a bit and would have wanted to read the story.<br /><br />But the working title basically (and not to put too fine a point on it) sucks. Badly. I rather like EE's suggestions for alternatives, but you could also just come up with a variation of Spy Kid (seeing as that one's used already).writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-4066562418247075312010-05-17T15:39:40.732-04:002010-05-17T15:39:40.732-04:00Thanks to EE and minions for the encouraging words...Thanks to EE and minions for the encouraging words and all the good advice. I especially see the point about the title, and I could live with changing it, but I haven't come up with a better one yet. How about: "Eric Saves His Mom But She Still Throws Out His Mangaporn"?Johnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03317745369702853183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-74519230188321233712010-05-17T13:48:06.312-04:002010-05-17T13:48:06.312-04:00There's so much in this that is specific to yo...There's so much in this that is specific to your style and voice hat I hesitate to add or subtract. However, I think you need a few less words to give yourself some breathing room add what EE asks. <br /><br />I would suggest this: <br />Remove this chunk: <br /><i>while she’s at work. Exotic cultures and freaky cuisines don’t faze Eric.</i><br />I don't think you need it. Plus, I think it is repeating that his mother works. She takes him along on business. that gets the idea across. <br /><br />I also think this is extra: <br /><i>For the last twelve years it seems Mom neglected to mention that her boring ol’ consultant job is all a fake.</i><br />I think you can say Mom's a spy and in his excitement over finding out, he exposes her secret. <br /><br />Then in the third paragraph, I'd take out this: <br /><i>He can’t so much as ask directions or read a street sign,</i> <br />and that will give you some room to add how Eric helps defeat the enemy. <br /><br />I also don't think you need all of those words in the last paragraph but that's a personal choice and opinion.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-32426633621163271832010-05-17T12:22:41.617-04:002010-05-17T12:22:41.617-04:00This is one of the better first entry queries. I w...This is one of the better first entry queries. I would agree with Adam's nit pick on savvy but he can't find his way around. This is a cute premise. I would read this story. I also have to agree with EE about the title. Although it was very clever how you arrived at it, most boys that age would go for something less profound and more obvious.angela robbinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07114119913653244467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-83875021975092997872010-05-17T09:59:01.692-04:002010-05-17T09:59:01.692-04:00This is pretty cool. I was hung up just a little b...This is pretty cool. I was hung up just a little bit when you mentioned Eric's "world-traveler savvy" right after telling us he can't ask for directions or even read a street sign.<br /><br />Then again at the end when you mention the series. Personally, a series of Eric skillfully navigating various cultures is less interesting to me than a series of Eric learning how to be a spy (though admittedly the former is more unique).<br /><br />But those are just my opinion. Others will differ. Good luck with this!Adam Heinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02225813532455467868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-91427372644034204342010-05-17T09:24:35.692-04:002010-05-17T09:24:35.692-04:00Love it. Good job.Love it. Good job.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com