tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post472472125259071264..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 949Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-67754344757246294512011-09-07T15:32:52.015-04:002011-09-07T15:32:52.015-04:00A lady ox? Get thee to the dictionary!A lady ox? Get thee to the dictionary!nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-21912349922863354222011-09-06T22:22:07.003-04:002011-09-06T22:22:07.003-04:00Sure, but a Higginbotham?
People with certain las...Sure, but a Higginbotham?<br /><br />People with certain last names seem to have either never committed any worthwhile crimes, or to have committed crimes so worthwhile that they were treated to a short rope instead of a long trip to America.<br /><br />And/or they never held religious views so extreme they required a change of address.<br /><br />(Y'know, of those two particular ancient influences on our Nation Today, I kinda prefer the former.)AlaskaRavenclawnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-5077891802483780022011-09-06T20:36:32.588-04:002011-09-06T20:36:32.588-04:00I know a Higginbottom. For what it's worth.I know a Higginbottom. For what it's worth.150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-18010106333966058012011-09-06T17:27:28.540-04:002011-09-06T17:27:28.540-04:00The last name, "Butcher," threw me off b...The last name, "Butcher," threw me off b/c I thought she was actually a butcher and had to reread...<br /><br />This sounds like those books I used to devour as a child. <br /><br />I do want to hear more about the curse, though, and what happens.<br /><br />Really good query; am impressed with EE's insightful improvements to it.R.T.https://www.blogger.com/profile/01033560520111174625noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-47497039654398336512011-09-06T16:44:06.908-04:002011-09-06T16:44:06.908-04:00One of those names we didn't bother to bring w...One of those names we didn't bother to bring with us, I guess, like Featherstonehaugh, Smellie and Higginbotham.<br /><br />It might've been a lady ox. And magicians get slaughtered all the time. I have read Harry Potter and know.AlaskaRavenclawnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-69680362573223406092011-09-06T15:25:50.822-04:002011-09-06T15:25:50.822-04:00Lol, I wouldn't think much of my magic if it d...Lol, I wouldn't think much of my magic if it didn't manage to prevent me being castrated then slaughtered.<br /><br />The name Butcher doesn't actually bother me. It's common enough in my part of the world.nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-83695831121436070452011-09-06T14:47:08.792-04:002011-09-06T14:47:08.792-04:00It doesn't strike me that there's any comp...It doesn't strike me that there's any compelling reason for Anna to think she's cursed. Her parents' marriage fell apart? She can't be the only kid at her school that's happened to. And best friendships and crushes are always chopping and changing at her age. Plus, many kids have annoying relatives.<br /><br />All those things together may feel like too much, but really...what is the thing that makes her think it's a curse rather than just bad luck, or life being its usual crappy self? Did she read about curses somewhere, or did some other kid suggest the idea to her?nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-84953261123657804242011-09-06T14:45:45.085-04:002011-09-06T14:45:45.085-04:00I think it'd be cool if the curse turned out t...I think it'd be cool if the curse turned out to have been put on them by a magical ox slaughtered by the eponymous Butcher in the 13th century.AlaskaRavenclawnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-62396423216516378522011-09-06T14:16:53.462-04:002011-09-06T14:16:53.462-04:00The biggest thing that's missing for me is a s...The biggest thing that's missing for me is a sense of what the conflict will be. I mean there is some mention of conflict, but it seems like all of it is from the backstory.Matthew MacNishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03264738483763244969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-10932969653170957992011-09-06T14:08:02.268-04:002011-09-06T14:08:02.268-04:00The problem with the last name is that I read &quo...The problem with the last name is that I read "When you are a butcher, things never work out."<br /><br />What was really meant by "relationshps never work ou,"? <br /><br /> Is this all relationships, like family relationships, boss-employee relationships, neighbor relationships or is it more specific to romantic relationships? <br /><br />Because if it is romantic interests then the tag could be "unlucky in love and unlucky in everything else is the Butcher curse."<br /><br /><br />The query is too vague and needs some details before we can help you with it.vkwnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-38089717361100899872011-09-06T13:34:35.306-04:002011-09-06T13:34:35.306-04:00Why does she think her life is cursed?
A curse wa...Why does she think her life is cursed?<br /><br />A curse was placed on her family long ago.<br /><br />Why don't relationships work if you are a Butcher?<br /><br />See previous answer.<br /><br />And just when things are looking up at the end of her eighth grade year and she begins to entertain the idea that maybe the curse doesn't exist. WTF? <br /><br />She has two good relationships, with her best friend and her crush.<br /><br />Why does she have a best friend then she's friendless in the next paragraph?<br /><br />Her friend stole her crush.<br /><br />What does frustratingly interesting mean? <br /><br />Interesting but not in a good way.<br /><br /><br />Best I can do, but I'm sure when the query becomes more detailed it'll all be crystal clear.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-7863273629668969172011-09-06T13:10:33.351-04:002011-09-06T13:10:33.351-04:00Why does she think her life is cursed?
Why don'...Why does she think her life is cursed?<br />Why don't relationships work if you are a Butcher? <br />And just when things are looking up at the end of her eighth grade year and she begins to entertain the idea that maybe the curse doesn't exist. WTF? <br />Why does she have a best friend then she's friendless in the next paragraph?<br /><br /><br />What does frustratingly interesting mean? <br /> <br />None of this bodes well for the story.<br /><br />I'd go with his Bad Self suggestions and come again. Drop the set up and get to the point and tell us (me) clearly what is going on. You're blowing the chance to sell the book with this attempt.<br /><br />Sorry.Wilkins MacQueenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05601091849024992561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-15601598723497876612011-09-06T12:57:37.325-04:002011-09-06T12:57:37.325-04:00I had a similar reaction to Eric. I thought the ti...I had a similar reaction to Eric. I thought the title was hellaciously cool for the right book -- but this isn't the right book, or anyway it's not the right query. I'd like to see that Anna lives up to her name and her snark.journeytogaohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12708633194344557042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-72883347621574240842011-09-06T12:34:32.220-04:002011-09-06T12:34:32.220-04:00I like your query, EE, and I agree about the title...I like your query, EE, and I agree about the title. Something else would fit better. Maybe a one-worder, like CURSES!, will do the trick.<br /><br />Thanks for your help, again, and thanks to all the particpating minions.Deserae M.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-77250359064388174452011-09-06T11:30:42.110-04:002011-09-06T11:30:42.110-04:00Let's not forget Jim Butcher, author of the Dr...Let's not forget Jim Butcher, author of the Dresden Files series about contemporary wizard/private investigator Harry Dresden.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-46838276887906175562011-09-06T11:28:35.567-04:002011-09-06T11:28:35.567-04:00I'm not sure which is worse: That the title ma...I'm not sure which is worse: That the title made me expect a morbid first-person story of serial murder, or that I was disappointed that it turned out not to be. <br /><br />As you present it, this looks like pretty standard middle-grade fare. We need to see what angle, element, twist, character or the like makes it stand out from the norm. I'm guessing that would be the Curse. What, specifically, is going on with that? What makes Anna believe there's supernatural foul play afoot rather than just ordinary teen angst?<br /><br />Also, why should we care about what happens to Anna, aside from the fact that she's the main character? For instance, how's she responding to all these circumstances-- mopey, angsty, introspective, whiny, cynical? Some more specifics about her personality might be useful.Erichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09440250912113010049noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-76638940487385829262011-09-06T11:17:40.613-04:002011-09-06T11:17:40.613-04:00In Alaska, of course, the name Butcher brings to m...In Alaska, of course, the name Butcher brings to mind the late Susan Butcher, legendary Iditarod musher, gone too soon. But I've never heard of anyone else by that name. It's odd, really. There are plenty of Bakers, Cooks, Fishers, Millers, Brewsters... when it comes to medieval food prep, only Butchers are left out.<br /><br />So yeah. Another surname wd be less distracting, unless the story really is about arson and murder.<br /><br />I'm not getting a sense of the story's focus. Is it:<br /><br />1. Your common-or-garden contemporary middle school kvetch, ending with the realization that life isn't so bad after all?<br /><br />2. A story about a family curse?<br /><br />3. A story about a kid falling under the influence of a Bad Person but ultimately becoming a better person as a result? <br /><br />4. A story about a girl whose so-called best friend steals her guy?<br /><br />Find the story's focus and write the query from there.AlaskaRavenclawnoreply@blogger.com