tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post4103966662260171185..comments2024-03-18T13:32:44.865-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: New Beginning 1071Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-20265848079390105062017-08-14T05:23:06.196-04:002017-08-14T05:23:06.196-04:00They do have garages in Great Britain, but they ca...They do have garages in Great Britain, but they call them garridges.<br />St0n3hengehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08504412781917592790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-7091992863221777002017-08-13T11:04:33.836-04:002017-08-13T11:04:33.836-04:00I like this and would read on.
The language is in...I like this and would read on. <br />The language is intriguing. davefragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12151700370200628940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-58245981028439058422017-08-12T10:23:27.339-04:002017-08-12T10:23:27.339-04:00p1: Downwards is not a direction in which one soar...p1: Downwards is not a direction in which one soars. Try "swooped." <br /><br />Technically, if we consider gravity paused, it's not just paused for a pinprick of time; it's paused the entire time she's moving upward. Also, is it gravity that's a miracle, or its suspension?<br /><br />P4: Capitalizing "There" and putting quotation marks around it seem to accomplish the same purpose. I'd go with one or the other. I hope, if the place is mentioned frequently throughout the book, it's going to get a better name.<br /><br />P5: I'd change "awaiting" to "expecting."<br /><br />Presumably this is a children's book in which the swing replaces the rabbit hole or the portal or the wardrobe. We don't get a sense of what the plot will be. Maybe if she encountered a character rather than a toaster we'd get into the story quicker, assuming she gets to stay in this universe longer than a pinprick of time.<br /><br />A minor point: The use of "downwards," "upwards," and "skywards," rather than "downward," "upward" and "skyward," as well as the use of single quotation marks rather than double, and a period outside the quotation marks rather than inside, suggest an author from Britain rather than the US. However, I've been told a "garage" in Britain is a gas station, rather than a building in which to park a car. Of course this may not be true in all countries of the "British Empire," and no one told me what they call a building in which they park a car in Britain, so I can't claim there's an inconsistency. <br /><br />Here are some other American terms used in the piece, along with British translations:<br /><br />landscape: moors<br />toaster: sconecooker<br />swing: bugger trapeze<br />mattress: shag cushion<br />Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.com