tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post3417695782698452465..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 1217Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-16614877414243280372014-08-21T18:53:29.245-04:002014-08-21T18:53:29.245-04:00I just want to point out to EE that "shapeshi...I just want to point out to EE that "shapeshifter" is a term that covers a lot of ground. It doesn't have to mean someone who can turn into any animal they want. Most of the time, in my experience, it doesn't. It can mean anything from someone who has one particular animal (or creature) they can turn into to someone who can simply make themselves look like other humans. (The Potterverse, for one, has many types of shapeshifters: animagi, metamorphmagi, and werewolves at least.) The query author doesn't specify what "shapeshifter" means here (which might be helpful), but I don't think most fantasy readers would automatically assume that it means one specific thing like that.SBnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-53908395661358365692014-08-21T16:36:23.650-04:002014-08-21T16:36:23.650-04:00"As the trail leads her closer to the dark ki..."As the trail leads her closer to the dark kingdom next door and the beasts that guard it..."<br /><br />How are the Djinn preventing her from just heading off in another direction? Is it just her bond with the other captives? Are there other reasons for helping the "shapeshifting monsters that prey on humans" versus the dark kingdom? How much worse is the D.K.? <br /><br />There's potential here, and Persian settings are definitely underused.Jeff Boulierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15764031860764968298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-12803598637999948732014-08-20T20:45:58.633-04:002014-08-20T20:45:58.633-04:00In addition to explaining who the other captives a...In addition to explaining who the other captives are, explain why - beyond general solidarity with her fellow humans - Meron care about what happens to them. Does she have some emotional attachment to any or all of them? Is she hoping to prove that she's more than a bad luck charm? Presumably Meron could just run away and leave the other captives behind if it were just about saving her own skin.<br /><br />A description of what Meron's birth defect is as well as how it makes her the one who can solve the djinn's problem for them would be good.<br /><br />This is promising, but it gets too vague after Meron leaves the djinn. A query doesn't nee to hold back as much as the blurb on the back of a book. All you really need to leave out is the climax.<br /><br />You probably don't need to say that this is your first novel. InkAndPixelClubhttp://ladiesofcomicazi.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-20920865833668073212014-08-20T16:17:43.535-04:002014-08-20T16:17:43.535-04:00I can see why the blighted baby thing is not neede...I can see why the blighted baby thing is not needed. It is stand alone. I am assuming her father did not kill her. It might read better if the author wrote it as.<br /><br />"When Meron's father refuses to kill her as an infant the tribe she is ostracized by the tribe, blamed for the death of every camel..." <br /><br />Just my two cents. Good luck. It sounds interesting. I don't know of any fantasy books in this setting.<br /><br />SHnoreply@blogger.com