tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post3252890104808055896..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 745Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-8641317786398853952010-03-28T13:20:51.843-04:002010-03-28T13:20:51.843-04:00OK, that last EE comment did have me spewing coffe...OK, that last EE comment did have me spewing coffee.<br /><br />Author, my initial query for the novel I am currently submitting was similar to this. It made perfect sense ...to anyone who had already read the book. I wish I knew a short-cut ! I just kept describing the book over and over to people who hadn't read it (friends via email, not waiting for my turn at the bank or anything!) until I started to see people making sense of what was happening.Sylviahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05925593802209715440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-24242432310552013322010-03-26T10:00:04.948-04:002010-03-26T10:00:04.948-04:00After reading the first paragraph of this query, I...After reading the first paragraph of this query, I still didn't know which of the GTPs it was... that's a bad sign. Just tell us what happens.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-24175546444496719552010-03-26T00:02:22.337-04:002010-03-26T00:02:22.337-04:00Ooh, slam!
Appropriately enough, WV is toughtea.Ooh, slam!<br /><br />Appropriately enough, WV is toughtea._*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-59432058817000769302010-03-25T16:52:04.322-04:002010-03-25T16:52:04.322-04:00Heckling the heckler. EE I love it!Heckling the heckler. EE I love it!Stephen Prosapiohttp://www.prosapio.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-6060556850818386332010-03-25T10:46:24.695-04:002010-03-25T10:46:24.695-04:00A check of your blog to see if you manage to maint...A check of your blog to see if <i>you</i> manage to maintain the same entertainment level from day to day reveals that you haven't posted anything since early December. So lay off.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-40415834744978446052010-03-25T09:46:49.629-04:002010-03-25T09:46:49.629-04:00Okay, now that everyone critiqued the query, I'...Okay, now that everyone critiqued the query, I'd like to critique the blue text. I didn't spew coffee once! Where's the funny? Who stole our caricuture editor and made him serious?Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16732006129353079344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-54133525479088054652010-03-24T15:44:02.482-04:002010-03-24T15:44:02.482-04:00It's so important not to have any spelling mis...It's so important not to have any spelling mistakes or random commas in your query letter. If you do have some, the agent is going to wonder if your book has lots of typos as well, and they're going to pass on it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-75323865119070791782010-03-24T14:50:48.644-04:002010-03-24T14:50:48.644-04:00you did one thing right (inadvertantly)
"betw...you did one thing right (inadvertantly)<br />"between the news of her mother’s betrayal and their abrupt move across the globe"<br /><br />My grammar is terrible, but doesn't that technically mean that the news and the mother's betrayal moved abruptly across the globe? So maybe Jez and the mom *didn't* move anywhere? Kidding.<br /><br />Author, listen to EE and Rachel. Also before sending queries out (or even subjecting them to our idiocy), be sure to double and triple check things like spelling with someone who will catch stuff like "Editer" and "its." That kind of thing isn't going to automatically disqualify you from an agent reading your material, but she isn't going to be very gung ho from the start.Stephen Prosapiohttp://www.prosapio.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-57228383194088293452010-03-24T13:58:39.895-04:002010-03-24T13:58:39.895-04:00To be honest, this sounds like you're trying f...To be honest, this sounds like you're trying for some catchy tag lines for your novel - and trying a bit too hard. Unfortunately, it doesn't tell us anything we actually need to know, like what the characters are like, or what happens in the story.<br /><br />Forget trying to sound pithy, and just tell us what happens.Steve Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09836762265698458170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-44137226536156320612010-03-24T13:36:28.472-04:002010-03-24T13:36:28.472-04:00It's all right to be a query newbie; just take...It's all right to be a query newbie; just take a deep breath and start again.<br /><br />Here's what you need to tell me in your query: title, wordcount, genre, any relevant bio or credits, and the plot.<br /><br />Miss Snark's formula for a hook is a good starting place:<br />X is the main guy; he wants to do:<br />Y is the bad guy; he wants to do:<br />they meet at Z and all L breaks loose.<br />If they don’t resolve Q, then R starts and if they do it’s L squared.<br /><br />Don't say it's your first novel (it implies it's your trunk novel) and don't say it's finished; if it wasn't you wouldn't be querying.<br /><br />Try another query and send it in; with more specifics, we'll be able to help a lot more. If you haven't already, read through some of the archives here. I'd also recommend QueryShark, especially the winners. Good luck!_*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-19435464010716338012010-03-24T12:00:30.535-04:002010-03-24T12:00:30.535-04:00Wowzers! So...
Jezebel has spent her life keeping...Wowzers! So...<br /><br />Jezebel has spent her life keeping her mother's secrets and cleaning up her mistakes. <b>--What mistakes?</b><br /><br />Four years ago she left. <b>--Why?</b><br /><br />Now she's come home, her mother has betrayed her, and they have moved somewhere on the planet Earth. <b>--Huh?</b><br /><br />Jezebel can't apologize for something, and she can't forgive her mother for something. And her father is ignoring her. <b>--uhm...</b><br /><br />Someone named Chris Freeman exists. <b>--I grok this!</b><br /><br />Jezebel's grandma accidentally puts Jez and Chris in the same room. <b>--Lacks drama.</b><br /><br />Jez forgets what love is in an attic. <b>--Get this girl a dictionary!</b>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-2185298140307863892010-03-24T09:53:18.881-04:002010-03-24T09:53:18.881-04:00Just tell us what happens in the story. In order.Just tell us what happens in the story. In order.150noreply@blogger.com