tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post2937757439998674306..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Feedback RequestEvil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-3646308668312425542017-03-22T13:42:03.946-04:002017-03-22T13:42:03.946-04:00Author here.
Thanks for your feedback.
It's ...Author here.<br /><br />Thanks for your feedback.<br /><br />It's my fault for not making it clearer, but Ren does care about something: He cares about Marla. And I guess you may be a little confused as to who is who in the query. I apologise for that as well. Marla is the main character of my story, whereas Ren is like the no.1 supporting character.<br /><br />Marla does have a decision to make, which was in the previous query, which was written from her POV. In this version, Ren is the focus of the query. Therefore, the end decision is his to make. As for why she might not want to use her powers...well, if I were her and I learned that the people who want my help actually locked my up for a year, I would probably send them the middle finger and tell them to f--k themselves. But Marla's nicer than I am so she's undecided about that.<br /><br />As for the title, the ones you listed are certainly among some of my favorites. However I think at this stage the title is not that important. Titles change when books are accepted by agents, and may change after being seen by an editor. For me, as long as it's not something that makes agents feel repulsed or think "never gonna read it", I'll be keeping this title. At least until inspiration hits me and I think of something better.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12509651477990050030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-54774205439108962132017-03-21T16:52:36.338-04:002017-03-21T16:52:36.338-04:00So your main character doesn't care about what...So your main character doesn't care about what experiments were performed on Ren, he doesn't care about the Council's Agenda... that's a lot of not caring. Isn't the point of a main character that first, he/she actually cares about stuff? And second, that she has the power to change things? By both criteria, Ren is the protag here, so I second EE in saying that the query must be written from her PoV.<br /><br />If "Marla’s powers could save an ambassador’s life and end a war, at the price of her freedom," why the heck wouldn't she use those powers? What does she have at stake here? She's snatched and hidden and falsely accused, but what makes her an active protagonist? When does she make a decision.<br /><br />"In the Shadow of Lies" sounds like the title of a legal thriller to me, not a YA novel. YA titles tend to sound more exciting and vibrant: "Ember in the Ashes!" "A Court of Thorns and Roses!" "The Wrath and the Dawn!" What all these have in common is that they are vivid, they convey danger, and they are the opposite of generic. So choose a less generic title for your story.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com