tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post2753845046733986567..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 378Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-43683049388753372362007-07-17T08:02:00.000-04:002007-07-17T08:02:00.000-04:00Oh, Indian Bean tree! I didn't know it had anothe...Oh, Indian Bean tree! I didn't know it had another name. If I had known that, I would have done a far different plot summary. (Hm, I wonder if an English gentleman with colonial interests really would name his daughter for a tree?) <BR/><BR/>I thought the story sounded like it had a lot of interesting elements and intrigue, but I was puzzled by the same things that puzzled everybody else. Also by what role the daughter and her burn scars played. She's too young to have been burned in the 20-year-old tragedy, whatever that was, and apparently also too young to be Gideon's daughter. If she's not critical to the story, I wouldn't mention her here.Bonniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07895569211498067204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-84469871225814079822007-07-16T17:27:00.000-04:002007-07-16T17:27:00.000-04:00...Actually, a Catalpa is a tree. It has large, h......Actually, a Catalpa is a tree. It has large, heart -shaped leaves, and grows <BR/>both in the North and the South. It is a very beautiful tree, especially when it <BR/>flowers in early summer. However, those flowers grow into huge, long pods that look <BR/>kind of creepy in the fall. It believe it used to be called the "Indian Bean" Tree. <BR/>Thanks to all for the comments!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-34377749191931791082007-07-16T16:10:00.000-04:002007-07-16T16:10:00.000-04:00I keep misreading Catalpa as Catawba (after that o...I keep misreading Catalpa as Catawba (after that oh so delicate, pink, carbonated wine my Parents loved and I hated all through childhood) or Cataldi (my first case of puppy love). <BR/><BR/>Is this story set in Oregon?Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-41067063298933078422007-07-16T15:44:00.000-04:002007-07-16T15:44:00.000-04:00So sorry - I stand corrected- that was 'charming m...So sorry - I stand corrected- that was 'charming man'. <BR/><BR/>Gotta love it!Robin S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03258459688300851984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-6666516009792077352007-07-16T15:42:00.000-04:002007-07-16T15:42:00.000-04:00First, let me say- I'll be surprised if this autho...First, let me say- I'll be surprised if this author isn't Southern. <BR/><BR/>Second- EE, how does it feel to be known as a 'dear man'? If you came down here to visit, we'd tell you that all the time.<BR/><BR/>Author, I like your style.Robin S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03258459688300851984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-42241098890500765882007-07-16T15:19:00.000-04:002007-07-16T15:19:00.000-04:00Also, this was also a new beginning, but I cannot ...<I>Also, this was also a new beginning, but I cannot remember <BR/>what number it was. Do you happen to recall???</I> <BR/><BR/># 250<BR/><BR/>http://evileditor.blogspot.com/2007/04/new-beginning-250.htmlEvil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-82531579718696018162007-07-16T15:14:00.000-04:002007-07-16T15:14:00.000-04:00Dea Mr. Evil... Thank you for the feedback on my q...Dea Mr. Evil... <BR/><BR/>Thank you for the feedback on my query. I'd like to comment, but cannot get through to you from work, <BR/>so if you'd like to post this for me, I'd be much obliged. <BR/><BR/>I did try and write this like jacket flap copy, as a few agents I've been following have <BR/>mentioned they liked that style. Still, I see it is too vague, and I plan to clear up most of <BR/>your questions. Such as... it's a surprise to find a current date carved under the stage (along with Melody and <BR/>Gideon's names in a heart) because no one seems to know what happened to Gideon. He disappeared long ago. <BR/>He also wasn't actually responsible for Melody's brother's death, that's where the sinister part comes in. <BR/>I'll clear that up. And maybe I should say "secluded" lake, instead of hidden lake. <BR/><BR/>When is a large pond really a lake, anyway? <BR/><BR/>Also, this was also a new beginning, but I cannot remember <BR/>what number it was. Do you happen to recall??? <BR/><BR/>Thanks you so much, you charming man!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-45016247129872770102007-07-16T12:39:00.000-04:002007-07-16T12:39:00.000-04:00So, how's the climate in New Zealand this time of ...So, how's the climate in New Zealand this time of year, Mr. Evil?<BR/><BR/>As for the query, I don't get what the current year being scratched below a stage has to do with anything. Is that, what, a prediction that this is when Melody will come back? Is it a graffiti typo? Does it have anything to do with anything else in the query?<BR/><BR/>If not, maybe leave it to the synopsis and save that space for telling us about the plot in a more linear fashion.<BR/><BR/>And why is Ruthie looking for it? What kind of mom sends an already disfigured child under an abandoned and likely rickety old stage to look for 20-year-old graffiti?<BR/><BR/>Sorry, but as you can tell, that tidbit really distracted me.GutterBallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17943760313844692975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-77629342275284882142007-07-16T11:44:00.000-04:002007-07-16T11:44:00.000-04:00Mom is one of the Double Uglies AND she has a burn...Mom is one of the Double Uglies AND she has a burn-scarred child? Holy facial disfigurement!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-44932880741155444522007-07-16T10:20:00.000-04:002007-07-16T10:20:00.000-04:00Hi Author,There could be a good story and novel wr...Hi Author,<BR/><BR/>There could be a good story and novel wrapped up in this. I don't really know, but I'm guessing this reads like the back blurbs on romance books - is that right? Where you are supposed to hint at the plot, but not give anything away, to entice the reader to, well, buy and read.<BR/><BR/>By the way, I do think you can believe you love someone you haven't seen in twenty years, (especially if, together, you've experienced a traumatic event)although, after twenty years, you usually love the memory of the person and your enhancements of who they were, as you don't really know them anymore. (Except maybe for EE and his 20-year-old ripped brain fog.)So, I could see this being part of a good story. <BR/><BR/>The problem seems to be that the story isn't capsulized here. And the language of the query is very florid. The good news: this is a very good place to try out a rewrite to see what works.<BR/><BR/><BR/>Good GTPs, esp. 4 and 5. And I could see #3 being a made-for-TV Disney Channel movie for the Halloween season.<BR/><BR/>Oh, and this "[If you get tired of someone calling you ugly, and hold his head underwater in a lake until he drowns, are you really responsible?]" is a really good one.Robin S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03258459688300851984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-32422616789514388612007-07-16T10:03:00.000-04:002007-07-16T10:03:00.000-04:00A romance with suspense elements, perhaps?A romance with suspense elements, perhaps?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-60524103000210309222007-07-16T09:46:00.000-04:002007-07-16T09:46:00.000-04:00What they said. Too often can't figure what you m...What they said. Too often can't figure what you mean, prose seems to have logic problems, some story elements seem more suited to middle grade readers than adults. <BR/><BR/>It sounds like you've written a murder mystery about a cold case but you're calling it a romance. <BR/><BR/>If you want to pitch a romance you're supposed to identify the main characters, show that they "belong together" although something keeps them apart, and make the reader desperate to see them united. You have to do that much, but that's all your query needs. Other subplots and their associated clues can be discovered as the agent reads the manuscript.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-22462257291186337242007-07-16T08:21:00.000-04:002007-07-16T08:21:00.000-04:00Author, that first sentence killed any interest fo...Author, that first sentence killed any interest for me. Too tangled and long. The plot details are not here, and we need them to know what the story actually is. Also, as EE pointed out, you have some problems with relational words that renders the cause and effect impenetrable. Keep trying. <BR/><BR/>I really liked the Double Uglies idea, but it made me more expectant of a midgrade story than a mainstream love story.writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.com