tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post266195237961642885..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 1193Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-54354218608803538122014-03-13T03:33:30.383-04:002014-03-13T03:33:30.383-04:00Once upon a time, EE told me to burn my thesaurus,...Once upon a time, EE told me to burn my thesaurus, and Alaska told me Mr. Adjective was not my friend (priceless advice).CavalierdeNuithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09862976676163347369noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-36304655096640575822014-03-12T22:26:47.776-04:002014-03-12T22:26:47.776-04:00Author,
My best advice:
(1) Get some lighter flui...Author,<br /><br />My best advice:<br />(1) Get some lighter fluid,<br />(2) Get a long match,<br />(3) Take your thesaurus into the middle of the back yard, and lay it on the ground,<br />(4) Flip through the page while squirting them with lighter fluid,<br />(5) Light it up.<br /><br />The thesaurus is not your friend. Most rare or large words lack emotion. <br /><br />For your retry, scrutinize every adjective and adverb. Ask yourself if it is needed. Most won’t be needed. Others may mislead.<br /><br />For example, Shannon is the last of the eccentric Druids. Presumably all the other Druids are normal, regular, and predictable—there may be millions of them but they aren’t eccentric.<br /><br />You use pagan three times. But pagan is relative to the dominate religion which you don’t mention. <br /><br />The demons are hiding in the sand, hoping Shannon will die. What wussy demons are these? <br /><br />Next time, think about what you write not about what is in your novel. Take your time then try again.Mister Furkleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07156977719916770984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-49704908287482576902014-03-12T14:42:38.259-04:002014-03-12T14:42:38.259-04:00Breathless is the title of a movie, a novel by Dea...Breathless is the title of a movie, a novel by Dean Koontz, and numerous other novels that come up on Amazon.<br /><br />Watch out for book-jacket language, which tends to be a bit more purple than query language. Try to be more matter-of-fact. Your task here is to get the story across. Strive for shorter sentences and more specificity.<br /><br />AlaskaRavenclawnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-576612773016166962014-03-12T12:29:12.871-04:002014-03-12T12:29:12.871-04:00OMG, my iPad smells like a cross between violets, ...OMG, my iPad smells like a cross between violets, lilac and lavender.<br /><br /> Like this query, it's too friggin purple.<br /><br />Pull back on the urge to dazzle and simply engage. Shannon has a final showdown ahead. Why? Why is she alone? Where is she? What Druid powers does she possess that will help her reach her final destination? <br /><br />It seems kinda easy for captors to strip their captives' possessions--why do these psychokinetic Magi have such trouble recovering the Shard. What would happen if they possess it? Perhaps they'll be benevolent gods....<br /><br />Think about your words. Think about what they are saying to your audience--your dream agent's assistant.<br /><br />For example: The song we sing at the end of all things? Jesus. I'm pretty sure that's gonna be a caterwaul fit to make the ears bleed. No chance I want to spend a day reading that misery.<br /><br />Every word counts in a query. All of them should, in some way, be compelling the reader to read your book. Clarity is required, not mystery. The flowery language in this business letter is NOT a selling point. <br /><br />Good luck.<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18159799725109784001noreply@blogger.com