tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post2355199060718841698..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 400Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-76840084784806281362007-08-15T09:32:00.000-04:002007-08-15T09:32:00.000-04:00Any chance this is the Vincent from New Beginning ...Any chance this is the Vincent from New Beginning 338?<BR/><BR/>If so, the 'straight, yellow' vs. 'straight but yellow' teeth question may working its way toward a conclusion.Robin S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03258459688300851984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-17036107538810835112007-08-15T08:20:00.000-04:002007-08-15T08:20:00.000-04:00This premise reminded me somewhat of Storm Constan...This premise reminded me somewhat of Storm Constantine's Grigori series, in feel if not in details. I actually think this could make a workable vampire paranormal romance series, but the query letter doesn't give the details of the book's plot. <BR/><BR/>The issue of the vampire war-- why it started, etc.-- would probably be best left out of the query. The background info isn't bad to have in this case, IMO, but there is way too much of it. Perhaps just tell us the vampire war is on and that Anastasia is his reincarnated lover and how she fits in. to me, the implication is that this is going to be a paranormal romance because it sounds like the many of them I've read in recent years. So that leads me to expect to hear what Anastasia and Vlad are going to be doing, and also to hear something about Anastasia's pov as well.writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-41821377416289414042007-08-14T22:17:00.000-04:002007-08-14T22:17:00.000-04:00I've said it before, but I could live a happy life...I've said it before, but I could live a happy life if I never saw another vampire named Vincent. Or Vladimir, for that matter, but he's practically Canon.<BR/><BR/>Otherwise, this sounded pretentious and intentionally obtuse, which is the opposite of what you want. You're erring on the side of motivations, when you might do better with events.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-2543299277458886072007-08-14T21:29:00.000-04:002007-08-14T21:29:00.000-04:00I can't read EE that much anymore during the day. ...I can't read EE that much anymore during the day. My kids see the clipart and it's like, "Mom, what's he doing with his eyes?" or "Is that blood squirting out of his eyes?"<BR/><BR/>Good to be back.<BR/><BR/>Agree that GTP 4 sounds like a bestseller.<BR/><BR/>I tried my hand at writing a query in first person. I was advised against it, and I believe rightly so.<BR/><BR/>I wanted to know why Anastasi could see him. Not merely that she could and then all of a sudden they're having a love affair.<BR/><BR/>I couldn't take seriously the line about God's anger about him choosing a woman--also thought the boobs were funny!<BR/><BR/>Cheers,Chris Eldinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11794946908789120139noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-58425722013612615202007-08-14T21:01:00.000-04:002007-08-14T21:01:00.000-04:00Clearly, everything can't be explained in a query,...Clearly, everything can't be explained in a query, but there are a couple of questions that it may do well to address:<BR/><BR/>As the original vampire, does he sire the race of vampires? Or does God create more vampires from disobedient angels and they sire other vampires and that's why war breaks out?<BR/><BR/>What keeps him from transforming Anastasia into a vampire to share eternity with him? Doesn't she love him enough to want to be turned? There certainly must be something else special about her if she can see him when she shouldn't.<BR/><BR/>How does a search for answers lead to war? A search for weapons of mass destruction, yes. But answers to a vampire murder? I'd be surprised it took so long for a murder to happen.<BR/><BR/>I don't understand the Anastasia theory thing at all. Sorry. Is Annie reincarnated twice? The first time after the war breaks out and the second time after Vince wakes up 1000 years later? Or just once, and Vlad, thinking Vince might wake up again, turns Annie's first reincarnation and makes her a vampire -- is that what you mean by "foster?"<BR/><BR/>And your last sentence - I'm absolutely clueless what that means. <BR/><BR/>Five millenia pass during the course of the story. It may help to mention when and where Vince meets Annie. Crete or Syria or Egypt around 3000 BC? <BR/><BR/>I've heard over and over from agents and editors in their blogs and other advice sites to not write queries or synopses from a character's POV. The general consensus seems to be that it's gimmicky and frowned upon and the sure sign of a novice who hasn't done enough industry research. If there's a secret handshake that sets you apart as an amateur, this is it. While it seems novel to you because you hardly ever see it attempted, there's a reason it's hardly ever attempted - and it isn't pretty.<BR/><BR/><I>If I Did It</I> - killer!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-75698942057964008962007-08-14T19:31:00.000-04:002007-08-14T19:31:00.000-04:00Plot #5 is funny. Plot #4 sounds like a future be...Plot #5 is funny. Plot #4 sounds like a future bestseller. This one...doesn't grab me. It sounds like testimony from my neighbor's divorce. The only question left is who's going to get custody of the kids?Bonniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07895569211498067204noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-2392139591696233402007-08-14T18:49:00.000-04:002007-08-14T18:49:00.000-04:00Shame on you, EE, shame. There were two blue colla...Shame on you, EE, shame. <BR/>There were two blue collar types installing my new washing machine when I read this line: <I> [May I send you my 300,000-word manuscript, <B>If I Did It?]</B></I> ...<BR/>Do you know how embarrassing it is to get the giggles with deliverymen staring at you? <BR/><BR/><B>Now about the plot:</B> how does the Angel of Death get knocked out for 4000 years and people still continue to die?Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-87336908621797240582007-08-14T18:17:00.000-04:002007-08-14T18:17:00.000-04:00I almost did the chili spew on that line from EE a...I almost did the chili spew on that line from EE as well, blogless.<BR/><BR/>Author, I too got lost almost completely in the long paragraph. The only thing really concrete I took away was that Vincent and ummm the other vampire are going to go at it. And Anastasia is around somehow and important.<BR/><BR/>Are the first two paragraphs all set up?pacatruehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04125048243775811714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-80255011269897075782007-08-14T17:05:00.000-04:002007-08-14T17:05:00.000-04:00Always suspected God was a boob man.Always suspected God was a boob man.Blogless Trollhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03983848259551488867noreply@blogger.com