tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post2245565355752324746..comments2024-03-18T13:32:44.865-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Feedback RequestEvil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-24089363086143863092017-05-20T01:31:21.688-04:002017-05-20T01:31:21.688-04:00Death is a thing?Death is a thing?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-20349445057930168422017-05-19T08:42:55.881-04:002017-05-19T08:42:55.881-04:00Mister Furkles, you scare me... Intrigued. Mister Furkles, you scare me... Intrigued. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-72495250979361591532017-05-18T22:52:50.677-04:002017-05-18T22:52:50.677-04:00I still believe it's the Easter Bunny.
And I ...I still believe it's the Easter Bunny.<br /><br />And I didn't think of it until now, but bunnies squeal aloud when harmed. You left that out. On cool nights we leave the patio door open and hear the coyotes hunt the desert bunnies. Often it ends with a bunny in its death scream. That doesn't happen with the horned owls because their talons pinch the nerves in the back of the neck. <br /><br />Mother Nature is psychopathic serial killer.<br />Mister Furkleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07156977719916770984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-10345040123897934642017-05-18T19:49:21.154-04:002017-05-18T19:49:21.154-04:00Agreed with EE and Anon. Not sure why 'People ...Agreed with EE and Anon. Not sure why 'People lie. Words deceive," line is still there. I do think there's an improvement. Mc is no longer a cold hearted bunny murderer; just a near starving hunter. Then you throw in 'new hobby' and I am back to wanting to send my toothy minions on your MC.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-17845104128968285232017-05-18T18:57:53.137-04:002017-05-18T18:57:53.137-04:00I thought the second paragraph is good. As an open...I thought the second paragraph is good. As an opening, it works better than someone, we don't know who, we don't know where, philosophizing about life.<br />The last part about gaining a new hobby weakens the impact of the previous paragraph. So EE's condensing does make sense.<br /><br />A slightly less condensed editing:<br /><br />I stand in the meadow as a heartbeat echoes in my head. Beat by beat, it pounds to the wild rhythm of fear.<br /><br />Down at my feet, the Arctic hare squirms, but it’s pinned by the steel-tipped javelin, jutting out of its gut. I kneel beside it and extract my spear. Blood, dark as oil, gushes out and stains the white snow. I smell the scent of berries from its mouth, the fresh blackberries I used to lure it out in the open. The rabbit’s eagerness for a quick meal was its downfall.<br /><br />I brush a strand of hair out of my face before taking the creature in my hands and snapping its neck. That sound used to startle me. But the grumbling in my stomach outweighed my squeamishness. <br /><br />St0n3hengehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08504412781917592790noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-43811022782972745262017-05-18T16:53:17.718-04:002017-05-18T16:53:17.718-04:00Yeah, I like EE's version better. Let's se...Yeah, I like EE's version better. Let's see the vicious critter-killer get as good as she gives.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com