tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post1531029944530678057..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Synopsis 15Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-83946630800326992012009-06-19T00:33:41.264-04:002009-06-19T00:33:41.264-04:00Having interviewed a lot of serial killers sounds ...Having interviewed a lot of serial killers sounds like better credits than having written ch.14 of a business textbook. Considerably more interesting credits, anyways. (no offense to textbook authors intended)batgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15143310557906978680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-3243303822375419052009-06-18T20:10:14.605-04:002009-06-18T20:10:14.605-04:00Anonymous wrote: "I have met several, have in...Anonymous wrote: "I have met several, have interviewed them as part of a deviant psych course. very scary. especially in how normal most of them were on many levels...."<br /><br />Are you talking about serial killers or leprechauns?Adam Heinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02225813532455467868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-3689976113738462892009-06-18T18:50:38.052-04:002009-06-18T18:50:38.052-04:00"Serial killers are the new leprechauns: ever..."Serial killers are the new leprechauns: everybody knows what they're like and what they do, but nobody's ever met one.<br /><br />Pretty much nobody who writes about them, anyway.""<br /><br />well there I am ahead of a lot of folk then -- I have met several, have interviewed them as part of a deviant psych course. very scary. especially in how normal most of them were on many levels....<br /><br />so I do know what I am writing about -- just looks like I need to work on HOW to write it a lot more!<br /><br />CJ lifting her head from the rewrites to comment....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-67752868424610315722009-06-17T21:39:22.163-04:002009-06-17T21:39:22.163-04:00Serial killers are the new leprechauns: everybody ...Serial killers are the new leprechauns: everybody knows what they're like and what they do, but nobody's ever met one.<br /><br />Pretty much nobody who writes about them, anyway._*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-65819734236472953762009-06-17T05:02:18.610-04:002009-06-17T05:02:18.610-04:00I think I half-saw one episode of the tv series (i...I think I half-saw one episode of the tv series (ie it was on while I was in the room). Most writing about serial killers seems off the mark to me, though.nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-62212000599828565022009-06-16T21:56:16.491-04:002009-06-16T21:56:16.491-04:00Oh, I thought you'd seen/read one of the two. ...Oh, I thought you'd seen/read one of the two. I haven't read the book. I've only seen one season of the series, so your comment made me curious.Chelsea Pitcherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16301150715189103602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-67745689257597703202009-06-16T18:37:28.515-04:002009-06-16T18:37:28.515-04:00wow -- thanks for all the input -- EE and the mini...wow -- thanks for all the input -- EE and the minions -- all very useful as I do not currently have access to a critique group (and I guess it shows!LOL)<br /><br />your comments help me to restructure things to make more sense to someone who hasn't actually written the story LOL<br /><br />typical challenge of taking 97000 words and translating them into some kind of sense for people -- <br /><br />off to do some seroius thinking!<br /><br />thanks again for taking the time to make all these comments....<br /><br />CJ<br /><br />once again, google keeps me anonymousAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-21654716198009390962009-06-16T17:24:34.799-04:002009-06-16T17:24:34.799-04:00They're different? oh dear me....
The one I&#...They're different? oh dear me....<br /><br />The one I'm thinking of is the 'serial killer' who goes out to kill whoever's supposed to die in the story? rather than selecting victims who accord with his own personal fantasy.<br /><br />maybe that is a tv shownonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-82369855410032685062009-06-16T16:50:11.586-04:002009-06-16T16:50:11.586-04:00Buffy,
Dexter of Darkly Dreaming Dexter or Dexter...Buffy,<br /><br />Dexter of Darkly Dreaming Dexter or Dexter of the TV series? Or both?Chelsea Pitcherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16301150715189103602noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-61927373394923324452009-06-16T16:21:20.187-04:002009-06-16T16:21:20.187-04:00I so much want the killer to turn out to be supern...I so much want the killer to turn out to be supernatural. But I'm guessing not, even though it's not Alex. <br /><br />Okay, I think something you need to do here is to establish the killer's presence MUCH earlier than she appears. Morten has a niece, okay, but so what? She means nothing to the reader unless we've already met her in the story/synopsis. The way it comes across here, you've pretty much hauled someone in off the street and said 'hey, this one's the killer!'<br />Also, you're going into way too much detail, with things like 'her breath catches' and 'starts to make love'. I know these are the dramatic moments, but in a synopsis you want dramatic movement, not dramatic moments.<br /><br />I'm guessing that there's more to this synopsis, but that you cut it when you hit the wordcount limit, instead of editing it down?batgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15143310557906978680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-45448091721712934832009-06-16T15:45:43.578-04:002009-06-16T15:45:43.578-04:00By the way, is there an official collective noun f...By the way, is there an official collective noun for Evil Minions? I remember Miss Snark had "a devotion of Snarklings" ... anything similar for EE?Steve Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09836762265698458170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-74269119066032584872009-06-16T14:56:19.563-04:002009-06-16T14:56:19.563-04:00Thanks for the info about collective nouns!
From ...Thanks for the info about collective nouns!<br /><br />From high school science classes, I think Adam's right about that DNA. The killer would probably have some DNA in common with her uncle, it's true, because they're related. But--and I'm pretty sure of this--DNA will tell you only who it is.<br /><br />I don't think DNA could show an uncle, though--mother's brother, for example. 1/2 the child's DNA comes from the mom, but a brother and a sister can get entirely different genes, so it could concievably be untraceable.<br /><br />I'm 90% sure on this. I haven't had science in a while and it was never something I enjoyed much, you might doublecheck._*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-2257354816104263312009-06-16T12:30:07.498-04:002009-06-16T12:30:07.498-04:00We Brits love collective nouns. They are singular...We Brits love collective nouns. They are singular or plural as we want them to be :D.<br /><br />Also, if you had "a team of sledge dogs" then we would have a singular verb, cos the subject of the sentence is "team" not "dogs". 'Mericans seem to look at this one differently.<br /><br />Thanks for the reminder re: Dexter. Knew there had to be a more unbelievable serial killer than this one!nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-24651332587504248692009-06-16T10:02:25.524-04:002009-06-16T10:02:25.524-04:00Team can be singular or plural. The distinction co...Team can be singular or plural. The distinction comes in that sometimes the members of the team are all doing the same thing, other times they're doing different things as individuals. <br /><br />The team is practicing for the game. The game is over and the team are going to their homes.<br /><br />http://www.chompchomp.com/terms/collectivenoun.htm<br /><br />Brits may consider collective nouns plural more often, or always.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-85444217134665427772009-06-16T09:55:31.817-04:002009-06-16T09:55:31.817-04:00Um, is that really the end of the book? Ian and th...Um, is that really the end of the book? Ian and the killer start fooling around? Is it supposed to be ambiguous like: will she kill him or won't she?<br /><br />Or is it that this synopsis is imcomplete and you haven't included the real ending? Because, honey, you need to include the ending and make it clear that's the ending.E.D. Walkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03002135496669838071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-12557195067461338702009-06-16T09:48:05.367-04:002009-06-16T09:48:05.367-04:00Rachel: I always thought "team" was sing...Rachel: <i>I always thought "team" was singular, but you keep using the plural verb tense.</i><br /><br />I suspect the author is British (and a Val McDermid fan, but that's beside the point); and, as I had to point out to Dave when we gutted my query letter, in British English, collective nouns like "team" can quite happily take plural verb forms.<br /><br />EE's fame is global, after all, and we're bound to run into these little problems as a result.Steve Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09836762265698458170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-32713344778340617782009-06-16T07:36:34.764-04:002009-06-16T07:36:34.764-04:00Thanks for that, Buffy. As I said, my knowledge of...Thanks for that, Buffy. As I said, my knowledge of DNA evidence comes almost exclusively from fiction (and I don't watch CSI, so it's not even a good breadth of fictional knowledge).Adam Heinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02225813532455467868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-5093824121338123842009-06-16T06:37:51.364-04:002009-06-16T06:37:51.364-04:00Someone who kills criminals is called a vigilante....Someone who kills criminals is called a vigilante. I seem to remember a film years ago with Charles Bronson. <br /><br />There's also Darkly Dream Dexter. He's a serial killer. Whats the difference? It's one of those "I know it when I see it," things. <br /><br />I'm not so sure murdering someone in a way that's connected with the crime they committed and making it look like an accident makes someone a serial killer. I think there has to be more to it than that. <br /><br />Why does the Doc suspect there's a serial killer? Does he live a small town and people start to die? Are his patients dropping like flies? <br /><br />Why does does he have to experience his old childhood trauma to catch the killer? Is it a family member?<br /><br />Does he want to help the killer or catch the killer? If he wants to help the killer would he involve the police? There's a lot of evidence that time in jail, doesn't help criminals. Something like 70% are repeat offenders. Lots of people come out worse than they came in. Psychologists know this. On the other hand, if he wants the catch the killer, why is that so? <br /><br />Why is this Psychologist so willing to break protocol? (he's not just breaking police protocol here and he's risking his license to stop-save a killer). What motivates him to risk his practice? What motivates the detective to help? Most women I know won't risk their promotion because a guy they know said "pretty please". She needs a big reason.<br /><br />What motivates the killer to seek out the psychologist? Is it because he's the best in his field or did he do something to her?Me, Myself and a Rubik'S Cubehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02181594915587473760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-31691867794080605872009-06-16T06:09:07.853-04:002009-06-16T06:09:07.853-04:00Police here in the UK have caught criminals throug...Police here in the UK have caught criminals through DNA on their register that is similar to that found at a crime scene; they investigated family members.<br /><br />But yeah, the DNA is not Morten's; it's familial.nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-74443441439687357602009-06-15T21:44:00.634-04:002009-06-15T21:44:00.634-04:00I'm confused about the DNA evidence. It's ...I'm confused about the DNA evidence. It's Morten's DNA, but it's female? Therefore they determine it's his niece?<br /><br />I thought (from my extensive study in crime and science fiction novels) that DNA was individual. If you tested the DNA of two people, you could determine whether they were related. But if you found DNA at a crime scene, it would point to one person, not to a family of persons.<br /><br />It's like this. If the DNA is Morten's, then it's not his niece's DNA so it can't be female. If the DNA is <i>not</i> Morten's, but is similar, then the phrase "But he is already in jail" makes no sense because they <i>know</i> it's not Morten already, just someone with similar DNA.Adam Heinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02225813532455467868noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-74254826436593207292009-06-15T21:08:25.287-04:002009-06-15T21:08:25.287-04:00Nothing here gives me confidence that Ian is going...Nothing here gives me confidence that Ian is going on anything but a hunch. At least tell us why he's so sure when he can't find any evidence, he can't support his case using the official rules, and no other professionals think he might be right.150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-58005096108556407892009-06-15T19:10:42.319-04:002009-06-15T19:10:42.319-04:00It starts to ramble near the end. That, and it doe...It starts to ramble near the end. That, and it doesn't sound logical, especially with Ian.<br /><br />Ok, it isn't Alex. Good, I guess.<br /><br />I always thought "team" was singular, but you keep using the plural verb tense.<br /><br />"Literally?" I don't want to know._*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-58046534270579805432009-06-15T16:21:09.711-04:002009-06-15T16:21:09.711-04:00I have problems with "Literally." The me...I have problems with "Literally." The meaning is unclear (what does personal fulfillment mean 'literally'?), and I don't see why the motivation for killing during sex makes killing during sex more or less sinister - the lover still ends up dead. <br />Also, the use of 'more sinister' seems off. Less justified, maybe? I get that the non-sex deaths are supposed to be more cool and justice-dealing, but your reader might feel that makes them _more_ sinister, not less. <br /><br />Just to be confusing, I'd suggest opening the synopsis with the incident you used to open the query. Oh, heck, just swap the openings. It'll be good.batgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15143310557906978680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-62748741820354381472009-06-15T16:02:19.009-04:002009-06-15T16:02:19.009-04:00I found both of these a bit dry. I'd like to s...I found both of these a bit dry. I'd like to see a little passion in the query and the synopsis.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-58983675688944860092009-06-15T12:33:52.934-04:002009-06-15T12:33:52.934-04:00So Alex isn't the killer. I'm glad Evil Ed...So Alex isn't the killer. I'm glad Evil Editor's gambling feature isn't up and running yet.<br /><br />I liked the first paragraph of the synopsis more than the query. Maybe you should open the query with that one?Matthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07681932402948885690noreply@blogger.com