tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post1344574914226802515..comments2024-03-18T13:32:44.865-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Synopsis 17Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-36339765017622511892009-07-19T03:54:37.055-04:002009-07-19T03:54:37.055-04:00I don't think he's off the hook; if Imbria...I don't think he's off the hook; if Imbria doesn't like him that way, why does she get her nose out of joint and go off in a huff? Loads of people compartmentalise their lives, and share some aspects with some people and others with others. What makes you think she could care less who conthingy's been shagging?Mother (Re)produces.https://www.blogger.com/profile/07685333905652373606noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-10184600757551006792009-07-19T00:16:16.003-04:002009-07-19T00:16:16.003-04:00So much has already been said about this, and you ...So much has already been said about this, and you know what.....<br /><br /><i>I agree.</i><br /><br />So yeah, uh, can "Volume Zero" -- please. The title could simply be <i>Son of a Legend: The Sablestone</i>. The next could be <i>Son of a Legend: The Abominable Nuptials</i> or whatever. Maybe you can get all your future fans to call the Everstar Saga because of Aerthir (which really is too close to Arthur) Everstar and their upholding the legacy.Xiexiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02265895952183646895noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-29189609893765625762009-07-18T21:12:18.999-04:002009-07-18T21:12:18.999-04:00Son of a Legend: The Sablestone, Volume Zero of th...<i>Son of a Legend: The Sablestone, Volume Zero of the Everstar Saga</i> <br /><br />I don't like anything about that title. It is waaay to long. How about just calling it Sablestone?<br /><br />Conrad is better than Conleth, but the names in your story don't go well together. Conrad sounds Irish, Adarik sounds German, Joannavitch sounds Slovenian, etc.Matthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07681932402948885690noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-50512148310057761352009-07-18T20:03:49.550-04:002009-07-18T20:03:49.550-04:00I'm really annoyed by the back pedaling. There...I'm really annoyed by the back pedaling. There isn't a really good excuse for leaving the story out, other than, you left the whole story out. What did you think you were writing when you put this together?Mamehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04853842158606222286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-60619672171259304622009-07-18T19:54:11.900-04:002009-07-18T19:54:11.900-04:00Shonda comes out of the blue; Imbria's been th...Shonda comes out of the blue; Imbria's been there since the beginning. You gots to put your guns on the mantelpiece if you want to fire them in Act III, son.<br /><br />/Chekhov's corollary150noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-7318408071272902902009-07-18T18:29:15.208-04:002009-07-18T18:29:15.208-04:00Well, your novel may, for all I know, be fresh, vi...Well, your novel may, for all I know, be fresh, vivid and almost unbearably exciting. But the title, and especially the "Volume Zero" bit, says to me, "Yes, folks, I'm going to be churning out sequels for as long as there are schmucks who'll buy them. I'm like Robert Jordan, only more shameless and less dead! Getcher generic extruded fantasy product here! Every volume guaranteed 100% free of any troubling originality!" ... Now, it's just a guess, but I suspect this might not be the message you actually want to send.<br /><br />I can sympathize on the synopsis front; they're a pain and a half to write. But I think we do need to know what makes Conleth the Gruff different from Brak the Barbarian and Thongor of Lemuria and Hadon of Ancient Opar and several hundred others ... It's a crowded field, you've got to stand out from the competition somehow.Steve Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09836762265698458170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-83153103698171597362009-07-18T18:19:23.591-04:002009-07-18T18:19:23.591-04:00If she doesn't like him that way, you're o...If she doesn't like him that way, you're off the hook. Though it might be cool to have an abomination to deal with in future books.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-55395295761988164272009-07-18T18:17:51.460-04:002009-07-18T18:17:51.460-04:00If Imbria isn't human, you really should menti...If Imbria isn't human, you really should mention it, especially because we keep thinking of her as a possible romance._*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-50659590401042811132009-07-18T18:07:00.571-04:002009-07-18T18:07:00.571-04:00Dude, Conan and Valeria. Enough said. Eff the prin...Dude, Conan and Valeria. Enough said. Eff the princess.Mamehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04853842158606222286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-53587717263435579082009-07-18T17:49:57.203-04:002009-07-18T17:49:57.203-04:00You might want to leave Gabriel out; it would prom...You might want to leave Gabriel out; it would prompt my uncle's boss' best friend's roommate to suicide to have such a relationship mentioned.<br /><br />Hey, why are you calling this a prequel? Just say it's book one--better yet, stand-alone with the potential to be a series. Even if there is a time gap of 3000 years or so, who cares? Readers of Redwall and Ender's Game keep reading, even if there are fewer than two characters overlapping in the books.<br /><br />Do you already have the "first" book written or published? You might want to query this and revise the second while you do so.<br /><br />And check out my link to The Rejecter; it really is helpful._*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-51909691550383578622009-07-18T17:42:54.215-04:002009-07-18T17:42:54.215-04:00But suppose she doesn't have feelings for him?...But suppose she doesn't have feelings for him? And also suppose (since Imbira is nonhuman, a detail left out of the synopsis) that their union would create a cross-species abomination (an issue not supposed to be dealt with until Volume One)?<br /><br />You can see how them getting together would create complications. Your opinion?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04468375791995188590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-72317764801436936102009-07-18T17:36:39.909-04:002009-07-18T17:36:39.909-04:00Volume Zero...well. We at GUD called our first is...Volume Zero...well. We at GUD called our first issue Issue #0 because our editor-in-chief is such a huge computer geek, and we've been stuck with the confusion that causes ever since (first issue is #0, #1 is our second issue, #3 is actually the fourth issue, and so on. Even the editors make (embarrassing) mistakes.<br /><br />I wouldn't go there if I were you.nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-12989446774214026172009-07-18T17:32:53.347-04:002009-07-18T17:32:53.347-04:00The entire genre of romance, the best-selling genr...The entire genre of romance, the best-selling genre of all, is built on the cliche of hero getting together with heroine in the end. It's what readers want. Of course, if the hero is too stupid to realize he'd be better off with his lifelong friend, he probably doesn't deserve her.Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-5094144971929247752009-07-18T17:19:30.767-04:002009-07-18T17:19:30.767-04:00Ohhhh...So thats why people expect Conleth to marr...Ohhhh...So thats why people expect Conleth to marry Imbria. Yeah... Hmmm. Alright, I just scuk at writing these synopses things. I'm going to tear it to pieces and start over. And yeah, the title is a bit (waaaaaaaaaay too) long. I'm gonna do something about that.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04468375791995188590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-60208867418999942652009-07-18T17:00:34.490-04:002009-07-18T17:00:34.490-04:00And no, while there is humor throughout, this is n...And no, while there is humor throughout, this is not satire.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04468375791995188590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-52581087568428549602009-07-18T16:57:12.132-04:002009-07-18T16:57:12.132-04:00This synopsis is actually Horribly abbreviated. In...This synopsis is actually Horribly abbreviated. In my abbreviation, I left out some crucial details. Like the multiple things they do along the way, the depth of Conleth's discontent, and the fact that Tafar is his brother and Gabriel (who they meet at the end) is Conleth's father's best friend. And there actually are (very good) reasons why the "convenient" things happened. They just didnt fit in the word count restriction. This is a case where I suppose condensing the plot does not do justice to how complex it really is. Also, this book is a prequel not full developed yet. XD<br /><br />However, your criticism IS valid. I'd just like to know what the problem with Volume Zero is and why Conleth should marry Imbria (which would seem a little cliche to me) instead of Shonda.<br /><br />Also, the names all have an imagined ethnicity, which did not make it into the condensation. My fault I suppose. But I may change Conleth. Perhaps a name like Conrad will be more reader-friendly.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04468375791995188590noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-55788996711207299492009-07-18T13:25:52.477-04:002009-07-18T13:25:52.477-04:00I keep reading Adarik as Aardvark. Just throwing ...I keep reading Adarik as Aardvark. Just throwing that out there. <br /><br />Imbria seems to be like Eponine in Les Mis, watching Marius and Cosette fall in love and willing to sacrifice herself anyway. <br /><br />I think the story sounds okay, except the title.whoevernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-35308421261681281092009-07-18T11:36:01.798-04:002009-07-18T11:36:01.798-04:00It's almost a cliche, the hero being in love w...It's almost a cliche, the hero being in love with a hot, perfect girl and ignoring his lovely childhood friend until he comes to his senses, but it's a cliche because people like it. That's why people here think Conleth should marry Imbria; she's been faithful all along, while Shonda's been off in some palace, being pampered._*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-36563908286456632082009-07-18T11:19:20.985-04:002009-07-18T11:19:20.985-04:00Author, I recommend you check out The Rejecter'...Author, I recommend you check out The Rejecter's recent post on synopsises; it should help some. As she says, "Publishing will provide you with plenty of chances to stress out over real and imagined crises. The synopsis doesn't have to be one of them." Basically, provide the basic plot and don't mess up too much. <br /><br />http://rejecter.blogspot.com/2009/06/infamous-synopsis.html_*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-37172482565775721702009-07-18T09:29:45.418-04:002009-07-18T09:29:45.418-04:00Author, I feel for your synopsis woes. I find the...Author, I feel for your synopsis woes. I find them difficult, myself. <br /><br />Without adding to the negativity, I must agree with most of the comments. The plot comes across as garbled.<br /><br />If you stick with the main plot, at least at first, perhaps you can put together a clearer sounding synopsis.writtenwyrddhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02280711822302493122noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-41816722338094286322009-07-18T00:21:08.975-04:002009-07-18T00:21:08.975-04:00I almost stopped reading at thata long, long title...I almost stopped reading at thata long, long title.<br /><br />Later, I wished I had.<br /><br />Coincidentally, I have recently been preparing notes for leading a discussion on synopses with my local writers' group. The simplest piece of wisdom I have thus far garnered is that synopsis is all about plot. Forget the character development and focus on what is happening.<br /><br />Some relevant points about plot, which this submitter might take into account on the rewrite:<br /><br />“Typically, the plot of a good novel begins by introducing a sympathetic character wrestling with a thorny problem.” (HOW TO NOT WRITE A NOVEL: 200 classic mistakes and how to avoid them, by Howard Mittelmark and Sandra Newman. Collins, 2008)<br /><br />(do I need to explain how this applies to this synopsis?)<br /><br />“Plot is the things characters do, feel, think, or say, that make a difference to what comes afterward.” (PLOT, by Ansen Dibell, pub Writers Digest Books 1988).<br /><br />MAKES A DIFFERENCE TO WHAT COMES AFTERWARD.<br /><br />That's the key to a good synopsis right there. Use only the points - whether character's motivation or decision or action - that push the story most directly toward the conclusion.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13515099806598255483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-9546255999260553982009-07-18T00:10:03.341-04:002009-07-18T00:10:03.341-04:00Wow, the Minions are in fine form today. Bit of a ...Wow, the Minions are in fine form today. Bit of a shellacking there, author. I won't pile on, but I have to agree with many of the comments about where to start, characterization, and the names. Making me read with a lithp is annoying, so for me, Conleth must be changed.<br /><br />Ah, Dave, it seems your mind clicks over to porn without much provocation, but just out of curiousity, what kind of names do they use in savory porn?<br /><br />Author, chin up, I'm sure the story makes more sense than the synopsis, so good luck with your rewrite.<br /><br />Oh yeah, and I'm in the camp that says Imbria must die, or else Conleth has to marry her instead of the queen.Stick and Movenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-78686209611752623362009-07-17T18:04:55.761-04:002009-07-17T18:04:55.761-04:00Yes, I too cracked up over the Egging of the House...Yes, I too cracked up over the Egging of the House remark. Actually, many words in blue denoted humor.<br /><br />Conleth could be Cuspedor<br /><br />Lord Adarik could be Baron Dyck<br /><br />Imbria could be Ammnesia<br /><br />MeriAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-5537282171035058302009-07-17T17:51:35.830-04:002009-07-17T17:51:35.830-04:00The Knights Tesslar name must go. Don't call ...The Knights Tesslar name must go. Don't call the rabbit a smerp. <br /><br />If this is some medieval romance featuring a thinly disguised bunch of Knights Templar, you can just call them Knights Templar. Otherwise, choose a name, garb, etc that won't accidentally misinform by making them seem to be a thinly disguised bunch of Knights Templar.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-4072094028178512522009-07-17T15:57:08.002-04:002009-07-17T15:57:08.002-04:00That’s actually your title? You’ve got to be kiddi...That’s actually your title? You’ve got to be kidding me.<br /><br />Nothing more than mercenary work sounds better than no more.<br /><br />It might sound more believable and suspensful if you say, where they should be safe, instead of where they will be.<br /><br />What if you described Lord Adarik as a noble banquet-crasher? The disturbing the banquet clause doesn’t fit in grammatically. Quick fix: who is.<br /><br />Zorren punishing them for that would make more sense if Zorren just wants the troublemakers out of his hair and in someone else’s. Also, I didn’t get at first that the them being punished included Adarik.<br /><br />I don’t like the at odds with sentence; it sounds a bit clicheed. I know what you mean, but the phrasing feels wrong.<br /><br />I assumed Imbria was a girl. It’s not always a given, but western names ending with things like –ia, -a, -andra, -elle, -ie, etc. are girl’s names. Paul and Paula. Jack and Jackie. Daniel and Danielle. It’s not a rule, but it’s common.<br /><br />Rewrite that last sentence to say something like: Imbria, feeling that Conleth didn’t trust her enough to tell her about Shonda, abandons the group. The placement of the feeling phrase in relation to the verb makes it sound like the abandoning is grouped with the mistrusting, when it’s really the main verb of the sentence.<br /><br />Where did Adarik and Shonda disappear to while Conleth heads off again?<br /><br />Your point with Imbria is that she was mad, but she cared enough to sneak after him, just in case?<br /><br />Funny with the egg, EE!<br /><br />I don’t like Joannavitch as a name. 1: It’s so much longer than the others mentioned that it sticks out. 2: Joanna is a real name; the others are all made-up. 3: There’s just something about the feel of it; it doesn’t flow like the other names do.<br /><br />I almost suspected the turnaround with Adarik, but it feels a bit like aliens in chapter 14.<br /><br />I’m not sure you need to tell so much of the ending. Maybe you could end with: plunging _list_of_names_ into a final battle with the forces of evil. Just go ahead and drop the knights sentence, anyway. I realize now that it’s a synopsis, not a query—I should pay more attention to the headings—but it still feels random.<br /><br />I didn’t ming the name Conleth; I thought it sounded vaguely Gaelic.<br /><br />I like this; I’d read it. I’m generally iffy reading stuff about demons (I’m picky with my fantasy), but if you got me reading that far, I’d continue.<br /><br />C and C. Ellen was part of it, so I'd say she saw it happening._*rachel*_https://www.blogger.com/profile/03293167107180931700noreply@blogger.com