tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post117574827136489550..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 309Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-62695931186170070262010-06-24T12:07:12.659-04:002010-06-24T12:07:12.659-04:00I know this face-lift is three years old, but I...I know this face-lift is three years old, but I'm still going to post my comments. <br /><br />What kind of mill is it? As EE said, if it's a grain mill then poisoning the irrigation systems is moronic. (Plus, Utah--even northern Utah--is a desert. Good luck harnessing constant water flow except in the springtime, when milling grain seems least likely. Utah water is snow runoff. You can't force water flow when there's not water to be had). <br /><br />If it's a sawmill, the Evil Miller will run into problems, as Utah--even northern Utah--is a desert; he'd have better luck finding trees in, say, Canada.<br /><br />If it's a mill that generates power, the Evil Miller should consider setting up an account with the power company. Even Utah has electricity nowadays. <br /><br />So unless Evil Miller is avoiding the electric company for some reason (say, he needs a TON of electricity so he can restore to life a bunch of dairy cows in Logan, UT, thereby creating an army of ZOMBIE COWS), harnessing the power of water spirits and risking a poisoned water supply makes little sense.42https://www.blogger.com/profile/05513358619829408698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1176058853281340112007-04-08T15:00:00.000-04:002007-04-08T15:00:00.000-04:00Vember, clearly, is the opposite of November.Vember, clearly, is the opposite of November.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175887982664532832007-04-06T15:33:00.000-04:002007-04-06T15:33:00.000-04:00I assumed Vember was the name of the mill.I agree ...I assumed Vember was the name of the mill.<BR/>I agree with EE - the query doesn't seem to say what the story is about. Is it about just stopping the construction of the mill, or maybe convincing the mill operator to make it environmentally sound? Or is it about Preston forcing people to stop sulking and take control of their lives?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175883587471082212007-04-06T14:19:00.000-04:002007-04-06T14:19:00.000-04:00Hmm, actually there's quite a lot of debate about ...Hmm, actually there's quite a lot of debate about what's YA vs. what's middle grade. There is really not a clear definition -- probably because preteens and teenagers are all over the map in both their interests and their reading level.<BR/>However, I'm not sure this is helpful information to the author of the query.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175877753973351372007-04-06T12:42:00.000-04:002007-04-06T12:42:00.000-04:00The issue I see being debated about YA is generall...The issue I see being debated about YA is generally around what is YA and what is Adult, not about what's YA and what's upper Middle Grade. If the story and language are sophisticated enough, you can have communicative ravens (note the author doesn't say the raven actually talks), fairies, or just about anything else and still call it YA.<BR/><BR/>However, the style and language of this query plants the story firmly in MG territory. Especially if Preston is 12 or 13 years old, which I'm guessing he must be since he "needs" the help of his mom and dad to solve the situation. This sentence, especially, sets the language expectation level for the novel:<BR/><BR/><I>They have a lot of power over their river, and he wants to use it to make water flow more quickly through his mill.</I><BR/><BR/>If the novel is written at a more sophisticated level, then the author needs to up the tone of the query to match. <BR/><BR/>I'm not following the poisoning thing either. Moving water, except in flood-type situations, is usually better aerated and filtered. Controlling water, whether through damming or locks, is generally a concern not because of resultant water purity, but because of what it does to surrounding habitats: either depriving areas of needed water or flooding bog areas and destroying the plants and animals that need that kind of habitat to survive. Increasing the speed of water already flowing in a river? I don't get the poisoning effect. <BR/><BR/>With a little modification, I can see this story idea working at the MG level. With a lot of modification to include more of the exciting plot details (they're there, right?) and tightening to include a lot of EE's rewrite, I can see this query working.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175859221623019392007-04-06T07:33:00.000-04:002007-04-06T07:33:00.000-04:00Weighing in on the "young adult" issue: no one in ...Weighing in on the "young adult" issue: no one in the publishing world is quite sure what "young adult" means, either -- the definition is always being debated. And fantasy YA could certainly include talking crows and water spirits. Fairies seem to be hot right now, believe it or not.<BR/>-mbAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175832354821228442007-04-06T00:05:00.000-04:002007-04-06T00:05:00.000-04:00I cannot believe that Evil Editor, master of the a...I cannot believe that Evil Editor, <I>master</I> of the anagram and palindrome, has not yet figured out the meaning of Vember!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175823375953255872007-04-05T21:36:00.000-04:002007-04-05T21:36:00.000-04:00This sounds like it could be an interesting story....This sounds like it could be an interesting story. I wish you good luck with your query rewrite, to bring that story out.<BR/><BR/>And I really would like to know what vember means. Is it simply a last name or a place name, or does it mean something more?Robin S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03258459688300851984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175813065663471042007-04-05T18:44:00.000-04:002007-04-05T18:44:00.000-04:00This is very young adult. The query letter is a bi...This is very young adult. The query letter is a bit sparse but it the story is there, then it is very commercial. <BR/><BR/>It reminds me of the story "Sprited Away" that came out of Japan a few years ago. Or in the same line, "Howl's Moving Castle" for the magical side of it. BOTH of these stories are about young people who have to find their true selves and help other people out of big jams.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175811286185347452007-04-05T18:14:00.000-04:002007-04-05T18:14:00.000-04:00"depression-addled" is, well, offensive. Just "de..."depression-addled" is, well, offensive. Just "depressed" will do.nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175803885036056502007-04-05T16:11:00.000-04:002007-04-05T16:11:00.000-04:00Hanging out with a talking crow, a dog, and water ...Hanging out with a talking crow, a dog, and water spirits doesn't sound quite right for "young adult" types, unless he's also got a girlfriend you forgot to mention. Little kids yearn to talk to animals. Young adults are more interested in dating.<BR/><BR/>I didn't see how the water spirits are connected to the pollution. That whole part of the plot was sort of a bewildering twist.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175800073270217052007-04-05T15:07:00.000-04:002007-04-05T15:07:00.000-04:00If there weren't any river spirits around he could...If there weren't any river spirits around he could buy a couple of big diesel engines to ramp up productivity. More pollution bang for your buck. Screw water power.<BR/><BR/>Also, trapping whiny disembodied entities doesn't sound very cost effective, 'cause you'd have to design a device to catch them, fabricate a prototype, test and retest until an acceptable level of efficiency was achieved, etc. You'd have to hire and train somebody to use it because you wouldn't want to hang around the mill all day, and with such experimental technology employed in your day to day operations your workman's comp premium would be through the roof. <BR/><BR/>And how can you submit that query and not tell us what a vember is?Blogless Trollhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03983848259551488867noreply@blogger.com