tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post117552198988963222..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 307Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175711653663607412007-04-04T14:34:00.000-04:002007-04-04T14:34:00.000-04:00Dang, EE, it doesn't get said enough. You are one ...Dang, EE, it doesn't get said enough. You are one clever dude/person/entity. <BR/><BR/>[The more I see of romance, the more I heart my cat.]<BR/><BR/>I agree with pjd, particularly about the query's resemblance to brainstorming notes. That's what mine look like, anyhow. It seems as if a lot of submitters don't even try to write a good query; they just want EE to write one for them. Only guessing.<BR/><BR/>~pulpAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175656505506840422007-04-03T23:15:00.000-04:002007-04-03T23:15:00.000-04:00I have got to get me a cat!Author, the language an...I have <I>got</I> to get me a cat!<BR/><BR/>Author, the language and style of this query reads more like an older middle grade novel rather than a YA. That the romance is a bit center stage, though, throws it into YA territory, as does the word count. <BR/><BR/>If your story sounds anything like this query, it will be too unsophisticated for a YA crowd and too "romantic" for the middle-grade set. And if an agent or editor can't pigeonhole it ...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175631528752738702007-04-03T16:18:00.000-04:002007-04-03T16:18:00.000-04:00Infiltrating a secret society? That is a pretty s...Infiltrating a secret society? That is a pretty standard plot. I'd want to see a good twist before I would read it (eg. in Secret Society Girl, a girl who wasn't interested in the society is tapped to join as one of the first women in the group, and ends up helping them reform their chauvanistic ways).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175631246130587102007-04-03T16:14:00.000-04:002007-04-03T16:14:00.000-04:00You're kidding: it actually *was* #2? Ouch. Let ...You're kidding: it actually *was* #2? Ouch. Let me guess: the next trilogy will be "I Am Rubber", "You Are Glue", and "Bounces Off Me, Sticks To You"?Reihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17005292189176596201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175626277606128022007-04-03T14:51:00.000-04:002007-04-03T14:51:00.000-04:00Killer revision, EE.Killer revision, EE.pacatruehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04125048243775811714noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175625820781031662007-04-03T14:43:00.000-04:002007-04-03T14:43:00.000-04:00Halfway through this, I stopped reading and starte...Halfway through this, I stopped reading and started skimming just so I could get the context for EE's humor. It's way too long and rambling, and as I read it I thought it sounded less like a sales pitch and more like an author's brainstorming notes. For an example, this entire paragraph:<BR/><BR/><I>In all the secrets Evelyn digs up there is a story, one about secret traditions at the academy that Jack would love to print. Still, she hesitates to write the story. Evelyn likes Scott and while his friends are spoiled, mean, and get away with a lot, it's not like they're hurting anyone. Is it? Is the story really worth driving away Scott, someone she really cares about? When she discovers that the secret The Rose and Thorns have been working to hide involves their responsibility in hurting someone close to her, she knows she can't look away from the truth. Could Scott be more like his friends than Evelyn thought? Can Evelyn put aside her feeling for Scott and write the story she's been trying to avoid?</I><BR/><BR/>Perhaps you <I>meant</I> it to sound like those urgent questions before commercial breaks in old cartoons, but to me it sounded like you just hadn't figured out the plot yet. Maybe it's because the questions aren't terribly compelling.<BR/><BR/>What's at stake for Evelyn besides her high school boyfriend? We all know that Scott will dump her when he goes off to Harvard anyway. And it's just the school newspaper. What's Jack going to do, fire her if she doesn't get the story?<BR/><BR/>I sense that you're driving to a moral dilemma that runs deeper than "HS boyfriend versus HS newspaper," but it does not come through in the query. I don't read YA now that I've passed well out of the "Y" part of life, but I suspect that the YA audience will identify with moral choices between the easy way out and the right thing to do. It seems you've got a story here, but like Evelyn you're afraid to actually write it.PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175622628870524192007-04-03T13:50:00.000-04:002007-04-03T13:50:00.000-04:00Love, love the chart. I think I may have dated the...Love, love the chart. I think I may have dated the fiance's relative a long time ago.<BR/><BR/>And loved the mention of Lorna Doone - "Okay, they didn't actually kill Lorna".<BR/><BR/>The story could be good, but the query meanders. I recognized the style immediately, having written one of these meandering guys myself. <BR/><BR/>RobinAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175618852191436612007-04-03T12:47:00.000-04:002007-04-03T12:47:00.000-04:00love the cat vs boyfriend chart. it's too true.I ...love the cat vs boyfriend chart. it's too true.<BR/><BR/>I couldn't figure the age of these people in your book or the age of readers it's aimed at. You seem to be all over the map, in that regard. Which is not good. The title sounds like grade school kids, especially if you do a trilogy with the titles mentioned. A lot of the behavior and concerns seem to reflect junior high maturity, but driving around is high school.<BR/><BR/>Blabbering about other unpublished manuscripts, especially if unwritten = wasted space, as discussed in numerous Facelifts prior to this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com