tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post117492803907375703..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 302Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175119131324414022007-03-28T18:58:00.000-04:002007-03-28T18:58:00.000-04:00Thanks for all of the comments, folks. Everytime ...Thanks for all of the comments, folks. Everytime I try to write it so it's not a mini-synopsis, someone tells me that I haven't given enough of the plot or enough specifics. I just can't seem to find the right balance.<BR/><BR/>I guess I basically suck at this, because when I read mine and then compare it to ones which Evil Editor or Miss Snark just loved, I don't see much difference.<BR/><BR/>But, I'll keep trying.<BR/><BR/>Thanks again.<BR/><BR/>KerryKerryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02395858745672167603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175022831103048922007-03-27T16:13:00.000-04:002007-03-27T16:13:00.000-04:00Give us a reason to giveasweetgoddamn about your p...Give us a reason to giveasweetgoddamn about your protagonist.<BR/>Here, he sounds decidedly unattractive.Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175010973771827802007-03-27T12:56:00.000-04:002007-03-27T12:56:00.000-04:00Wesley was a dweeb. He should've been banished to ...Wesley was a dweeb. He should've been banished to the black hole of nothingness.Blogless Trollhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03983848259551488867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1175010332887453732007-03-27T12:45:00.000-04:002007-03-27T12:45:00.000-04:00Sorry, author, but I'm just not getting it from th...Sorry, author, but I'm just not getting it from this query. Aside from the "OK, so what's different" factor (which is key not just to time travel stories, but ANY story these days), I'm not even getting a clue from the query for what's the same.<BR/><BR/>Can Roy dial his way to whatever year/civilization he wants? Is he cast willy-nilly through time, happening to wind up in just the right places and times to witness history's greatest events like in "Time Tunnel"? Or does he arrive literally a day late and a dollar short - the day after the signing of the Declaration of Independence, a week after Atlantis went under?<BR/><BR/>Is Roy a self-centered SOB and Ann is right about him all along? If so, use THAT as a defining trait for him rather than that he's retired and bored. Is Roy profiting from his time jaunts? Is The Traveler the "new friend" in your last paragraph? How/why is he a friend? If he's a friend, is there an antagonist in this story? What's the conflict? Are there consequences to keeping or returning the time cylinder? <BR/><BR/>The answers to these questions are the things that need to be in your query as attention-getters. The stuff you have in your query now isn't exciting as written. Tighten up what's there considerably and then throw in some good specifics about the plot.<BR/><BR/>Oh, great, EE. After years of therapy trying to forget there WAS a Wes on ST:TNG, YOU have to bring him up. I was ever indebted to the Traveler. Now it's back to therapy ...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174999688698435102007-03-27T09:48:00.000-04:002007-03-27T09:48:00.000-04:00All right, yes, the cylinder, time travel, etc., h...All right, yes, the cylinder, time travel, etc., have been done, but what hasn't already been done before? <BR/><BR/>I really think it depends on who's telling the story, their approach to it, and how well it's told. <BR/><BR/>I might leave Emily out of the query, as EE mentioned, and include in the query the unique approach of your version of this story. I have no idea you should do this - and I'm not going to pretend I do, or to zap you, author, because you have more work to do. <BR/><BR/>Good luck.Robin S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03258459688300851984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174968015213402802007-03-27T01:00:00.000-04:002007-03-27T01:00:00.000-04:00Wesley Crusher was sighted at that great San Franc...Wesley Crusher was sighted at that great San Francisco eatery - the Squat and Gobble. <BR/><BR/>http://www.squatandgobble.com/Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174964491067466142007-03-27T00:01:00.000-04:002007-03-27T00:01:00.000-04:00Or is it The Traveler from the original Ghostbuste...Or is it The Traveler from the original <I>Ghostbusters</I> movie? That was a fun one. Nimble li'l minx, in't she?<BR/><BR/>As for the query, I've heard that time travel stories are a hard sell, so your query will have to pack that much more punch. It will have to have some kind of spark, not just be a mini-synopsis.<BR/><BR/>Take whatever is different about your book and put that into the query. If you have a quick-paced tone, make your query follow. If you're pithy, crack a few sarcastic jokes. If there's something special about your type of time travel, bring that out. You'll have to shine among a thousand diamonds, kiddo, so you'd better polish up.<BR/><BR/>Yikes. I ought to delete that last.GutterBallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17943760313844692975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174961074858988822007-03-26T23:04:00.000-04:002007-03-26T23:04:00.000-04:00Yay, Sharper Image.I want one of those light beam ...Yay, Sharper Image.<BR/><BR/>I want one of those light beam focusing things. I just know I could find all sorts of uses for one of them. Especially in the dark.<BR/><BR/>I think EE hit the point very succinctly: the heart seems to be missing from this query. We've got a set up but not really much about what actually happens and why. Need a little more to go on.<BR/><BR/>EE, did you have to google for that Star Trek site, or was it right there in your favorites?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174948299946500182007-03-26T19:31:00.000-04:002007-03-26T19:31:00.000-04:00"I've said it before and I'll say it again: when y..."I've said it before and I'll say it again: when your spouse is terminally ill, common courtesy demands that you suspend all time travel experimentation".<BR/><BR/>I haven't had time to think about the query letter, but I laughed out loud at this, which I don't do all that often to most things that are supposed to be funny.Robin S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03258459688300851984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174944078480979192007-03-26T18:21:00.000-04:002007-03-26T18:21:00.000-04:00This query has what the psychiatric folk call "fla...This query has what the psychiatric folk call "flat affect". Facts are given in sequence, but emotional content seems to be missing. Is that the tone of the book? If so, you might want to add the occasional joke and unbearable pathos, or something...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com