tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post117449851164788455..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 299Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174529370967868062007-03-21T23:09:00.000-04:002007-03-21T23:09:00.000-04:00Keep in mind that this comment is coming from the ...Keep in mind that this comment is coming from the person who was pegged in the dialogue challenge from a single sentence: "So where'd you pick up your love of football?" or some such.<BR/><BR/>I would SO read this. In a heartbeat. Yes, Mr. Evil does a bang-up job of tidying the plot, but I would have read it even after the first version. The only romance novels I ever read are Regencies, but I absolutely adore them. I have a ton of them, though most are inordinately bad.<BR/><BR/>If you ever need a quick read-thru, ship it my way, kiddo!<BR/><BR/>Now, I'm gonna go watch football and professional wrestling and knock back a few beers to get back my reputation.GutterBallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17943760313844692975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174523761989507722007-03-21T20:36:00.000-04:002007-03-21T20:36:00.000-04:00Now that's what I call a facelift.Now that's what I call a facelift.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174523197587549882007-03-21T21:26:00.000-04:002007-03-21T21:26:00.000-04:00I love the first line. I also knew what bundle of ...I love the first line. I also knew what bundle of silks meant. I think answering the questions and rewriting it tighter will have it ready to go. Post it afterward as a comment on here so we can see, if you don't mind.<BR/><BR/>I like the concept of this. Definitely something I'd pick up.Brendahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17083327647412477394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174520277238237432007-03-21T20:37:00.000-04:002007-03-21T20:37:00.000-04:00This looks like it would be fun to read. I like th...This looks like it would be fun to read. <BR/><BR/>I like the rewrites starting up again, EE. This may come in handy.Robin S.https://www.blogger.com/profile/03258459688300851984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174515333968935412007-03-21T19:15:00.000-04:002007-03-21T19:15:00.000-04:00I agree the query needed a bit of work, but this s...I agree the query needed a bit of work, but this sounds like a lot of fun to me. I'd buy this, absolutely.Staciahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07969399927758009095noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174514381111607722007-03-21T18:59:00.000-04:002007-03-21T18:59:00.000-04:00BTWGuess the Plot # 6 is titled "Men in Black"It's...BTW<BR/>Guess the Plot # 6 is titled "Men in Black"<BR/><BR/>It's like the Romeo and Juliet plot.Dave Fragmentshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17985158361431606939noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174511040127088022007-03-21T18:04:00.000-04:002007-03-21T18:04:00.000-04:00Well, I guessed that the bundle of silk was Evelyn...Well, I guessed that the bundle of silk was Evelyn, but it is a tad obscure :).nonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00415222406280230021noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174511661862252632007-03-21T18:14:00.000-04:002007-03-21T18:14:00.000-04:00"How were the Duke and the Astronomer going to sav..."How were the Duke and the Astronomer going to save the Earth!?"<BR/><BR/>OHHHHH!!!! I wrote the wrong book! How cool would that be? You don't see a historical romance plot like <I>that</I> anywhere. I'm going to have to use it in a future WIP, I think. *rubbing hands together with glee* Nothing like linking my two favorite genres together...Historical Romance meets Sci-Fi. I love it!<BR/><BR/>Sandy :-)Sandra Barkevichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07368033086151441557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174510812525697662007-03-21T18:00:00.000-04:002007-03-21T18:00:00.000-04:00#6 is basically the movie MEN IN BLACK.#6 is basically the movie MEN IN BLACK.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174510390562865322007-03-21T17:53:00.000-04:002007-03-21T17:53:00.000-04:00I agree, Sandra, about GTP #6. In fact when readin...I agree, Sandra, about GTP #6. In fact when reading the real query, I kept trying to match up the comet and the diamond with the invading force from Andromeda. How were the Duke and the Astronomer going to save the Earth!?<BR/><BR/>I also know now why I am not a hero in a romance novel - despite my rugged yet almost angelic good looks, brooding manner, and small duchy in western Scotland. As I remember, when my wife and I met, we were actually exceedingly nice to each other. Almost kinder and more forgiving of each other than to other people. Where's the romance in that? We needed to be yelling, fighting, and unable to comprehend what the other was thinking. Now, that's love.<BR/><BR/>Ouch, my tongue was so firmly in cheek that I just punched a hole. Where's that seamstress from GTP #2?<BR/><BR/>BTW, I think the plot sounds great.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174509993651214072007-03-21T17:46:00.000-04:002007-03-21T17:46:00.000-04:00Once again a superb rewrite, EE, though I wish you...Once again a superb rewrite, EE, though I wish you had retained the phrase "unruly attraction." For some reason, that caught me as a real character-illustrating phrase in contrast to the mild mannered astronomer we started with. (Googling the phrase "unruly attraction" comes up with only four hits, and the first is Sandy's page. Why anyone would Google "unruly attraction," however, escapes me.)PJDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05028687955957107957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174509925352143112007-03-21T17:45:00.000-04:002007-03-21T17:45:00.000-04:00It sounds like you have a lot of interesting thing...It sounds like you have a lot of interesting things in the book and the query was hard to focus because you wanted to talk about all the subplots.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174508605435275622007-03-21T17:23:00.000-04:002007-03-21T17:23:00.000-04:00I forgot to mention my favorite GTP. They were al...I forgot to mention my favorite GTP. They were all good, but my favorite was GTP#6. It sounds like something right up my alley.<BR/><BR/>Sandy :-)Sandra Barkevichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07368033086151441557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174505401796804402007-03-21T16:30:00.000-04:002007-03-21T16:30:00.000-04:00Perhaps "penetrate" his whatever?Perhaps "penetrate" his whatever?Evil Editorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174504856453822022007-03-21T16:20:00.000-04:002007-03-21T16:20:00.000-04:00Nice fix, EE. Very instructive. The word "wheedle"...Nice fix, EE. Very instructive. <BR/><BR/>The word "wheedle" is incorrect here, or at least awkward. <BR/><BR/>American Heritage Dictionary (4th ed.) gives as a third meaning, "to use flattery or cajolery to achieve one's ends." It's used with an object as its, um, object, as in, "a swindler who wheedled my life savings out of me." <BR/><BR/>So perhaps this isn't strictly wrong, but it reads wrong.<BR/><BR/>Words are important.<BR/><BR/>I like the astronomical theme a lot.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174504617175878912007-03-21T16:16:00.000-04:002007-03-21T16:16:00.000-04:00It's a mystery wrapped in a puzzle inside an enigm...It's a mystery wrapped in a puzzle inside an enigma. I don't get it. I would focus on the MC and lay out the plot from her POV. Forget how uncomfortable the dude is and what the underlying myth is. If an agent can't figure out what the story is, the rest won't matter.Blogless Trollhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03983848259551488867noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1174504387553854262007-03-21T16:13:00.000-04:002007-03-21T16:13:00.000-04:00EE,The Silkworm...ROFLMAO!You have hit the nail on...EE,<BR/><BR/>The Silkworm...ROFLMAO!<BR/><BR/>You have hit the nail on the head with all of your comments. I knew there was something about this query. I just couldn't put my finger on it. I actually love the revised version. THANK YOU, EE!!!! I bow to your expertise.<BR/><BR/>In answer to a couple of your questions, the "bundle of silk" is Evelyn running from her would-be abductor. She collides with Alistair--Um, she's wearing a silk gown...I'm dropping that line. LOL.<BR/><BR/>There were a few female astronomers in London and surrounding areas back then. However, I don't know that they had a society. I created it for the purposes of this story and all of the females involved are not your typical Victorian Lady.<BR/><BR/>I'm very excited to rework this query and see what response I get. Thank you again!<BR/><BR/>Sandy :-)Sandra Barkevichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07368033086151441557noreply@blogger.com