tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post116734122127534091..comments2024-03-26T18:28:06.391-04:00Comments on Evil Editor: Face-Lift 253Evil Editorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03879826770199639420noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-14362248155821025482007-04-28T05:08:00.000-04:002007-04-28T05:08:00.000-04:00The John Wayne Parrot quote had me laughing aloud....The John Wayne Parrot quote had me laughing aloud.<BR/><BR/>I liked the first line (and I accepted the right/wrong pun and that "white" would be explained at some point) and then felt the rest of the query didn't deliver what it promised. I want to hear about the girl, the parrot and the kung fu mystery.<BR/><BR/>The second sentence is basically a repeat of the first without the parrot. Then we start to go somewhere (grandfather asks) to be stalled by school matters (we have ancient secrets and kung fu: who cares about boys!) and a long list of questions that I can't answer. By the time I hit the end of that list, I stopped caring.<BR/><BR/>I started the query thinking it was going to be about a kick-ass girl solving a family mystery. I ended it feeling it was an angsty teenage girl worried about not looking stupid in front of the popular crowd. The latter just doesn't interest me -- and I'm not sure that's what your story is about. It sounds like you have a killer main plot line -- I'd avoid the dilution of that with standard social trauma gaining as more space in your query as the parrot and the kung fu.Sylviahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05925593802209715440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1167637885608592132007-01-01T02:51:00.000-05:002007-01-01T02:51:00.000-05:00#2 gives me hilarious images. Poor parrot. For t...#2 gives me hilarious images. Poor parrot. <BR/><BR/>For the author of the query: <BR/>You headline it with 'ancient kung fu mystery' and yet you barely mention this again. If you want to keep that first paragraph, I'd like to see at least a clue or two more about the kung fu mystery.<BR/><BR/>You've got a great voice here, BTW, sounds perfect for the type of story. It's fun and lively.<BR/><BR/>I agree with EE to cut those extra questions.<BR/><BR/>I'm confused about the line "the White girl in the Wong family". Apparently everyone in the crapometer got it but me. Okay, so Wong can mean 'white' in Chinese. But 'jade' is green. So then she'd be the green girl in the white family. <BR/><BR/>That was my first thought. But since it made no sense, I looked in the dictionary and realised that some jade can be white. So in that case she can legitimately be the white girl, but now she's the white girl in the white family, which would seem to be a rather pointless thing to say. Unless Wong can also mean 'purple' or some other colour - but then you have a confusion amongst some readers as to which colour you mean Wong to be in this instance. <BR/><BR/>So the only other thing I can think you're saying is that she has white skin. But white skin amongst Chinese is common, so no one would assume that people called 'Wong' wouldn't be white, therefore this seems the most unlikely explanation. Even if she is white-skinned in comparison to her family, what does that have to do with anything else that occurs in the query? It doesn't seem relevant, but is distracting. <BR/><BR/>Unless everyone in the crapometer was just laughing at the rhyming slang of 'right' and 'wrong', but if that's all it is, I don't think the line is necessary in your query (since I doubt I'd be the only one trying to read some meaning into it and failing).<BR/><BR/>As I said, everyone in the Crapometer seemed to understand it except me, so perhaps I'm just missing some cultural clue that everyone else knows. Feel free to slap me down for dumbness.Angus Weekshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09802204733236506105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1167489327247932762006-12-30T09:35:00.000-05:002006-12-30T09:35:00.000-05:00I love the line 'White girl in the Wong family.' I...I love the line 'White girl in the Wong family.' I'm not sure I love the title, though. It brings my mind to that spoof kung-fu moving...something-something Enter the Fist, and then all I see are cows doing the Matrix moves.Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12026082753433141520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1167421956555089042006-12-29T14:52:00.000-05:002006-12-29T14:52:00.000-05:00Hercule Parrot...oh dear... (giggle snort)And eco-...Hercule Parrot...oh dear... (giggle snort)<BR/><BR/>And eco-mentor/erect romeo...so, having a slow day, are you, EE?<BR/><BR/>Sounds like a fun book, but EE won this round.<BR/><BR/>word ver: zucpuo. Don't ask.Marissa Doylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11248406475808085694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1167408116870099122006-12-29T11:01:00.000-05:002006-12-29T11:01:00.000-05:00EE, you've outdone yourself. I was practically ro...EE, you've outdone yourself. I was practically rolling on the floor...especially about Hercule Parrot! ;-)<BR/><BR/>This sounds like a lot of fun, but I would cut out the last two questions in that paragraph of questions.<BR/><BR/>And #2 was an absolute blast! :-)<BR/><BR/>Good luck with it!<BR/><BR/>~JerseyGirlNancy Beckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06214579721075450777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1167406058352559082006-12-29T10:27:00.000-05:002006-12-29T10:27:00.000-05:00American Society of Students for Ecological Schola...<I>American Society of Students for Ecological Scholarship</I><BR/><BR/>Bwahah! Hawaiian punch out the nose already this morning! The John Wayne parrot speech also killed me. Beautiful.<BR/><BR/>This is probably a really cute young adult novel. Good luck with it. I'd probably get it for my eldest niece, though the silly kung fu overtones would probably more appeal to my nephew.<BR/><BR/>Heck, I'd probably read it just to find out if her grandpa really is a kung fu master. After all, my favorite song of all time is <I>Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting</I>.GutterBallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17943760313844692975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1167404992672013142006-12-29T10:09:00.000-05:002006-12-29T10:09:00.000-05:00Another fine example of EE's comedic genius.I like...Another fine example of EE's comedic genius.<BR/><BR/>I like the author's style and i think the story is original and interesting. I would at least give this one a try. -JTCAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26791026.post-1167394036467674352006-12-29T07:07:00.000-05:002006-12-29T07:07:00.000-05:00Yeah, yeah.All that EE says.But I love it.Yeah, yeah.<BR/>All that EE says.<BR/>But I love it.Bernitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05264585685253812090noreply@blogger.com