Saturday, July 31, 2010
Dragon Tattoo
I saw the Swedish film tonight, made from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (our June Book Chat book), and I thought it was better than the book. The story was clearer, the casting was excellent, and the dialogue was sparse enough that it was easy to read the subtitles without missing the video. No reason to believe Hollywood will do any better, and good reason to believe they'll screw it up. Check it out if you can.
Book Chat 29
Book Chat 29: Suzanne Collins/The Hunger Games
Evil Editor said...Anyone besides me read the second book?
Dave F. said...I didn't read the second book. I'm not anxious to go back to that dystopia.
sylvia said...(I've not read the second book)
fairyhedgehog said...I'm reading book two now. I was very cross at all the loose ends that were left at the end of book one. I hate series books that are more like a serial. Mind you, it didn't stop me borrowing the next book!
Robin S. said...I've only read this first one, but I'm with FH - even in a series, I need closure, book to book.
Evil Editor said...Isn't there closure? The Hunger games end. We know who won. You can't have closure in the society changing, or there'd be no series.
sylvia said...There was closure, true. But it seemed like another book that ended on a note of "And to find out how this works out, you need to get the next one" and I wasn't expecting that. Leviathan did the same, even more blatantly, so perhaps I'm just touchy. I felt it looked like a standalone. Catching Fire (is that right? I've not got it) isn't a sequel, it's Part 2 of the same story.
fairyhedgehog said....Exactly!
Evil Editor said...It doesn't pick up where book 1 left off, time has passed.
fairyhedgehog said....It felt much more unfinished to me than most books do that are a series. You could have had a temporary solution to the Peeta/Gale problem. At the end of book one I was mostly annoyed that the Peeta/Gale thing was up in the air, rather than upset at the darkness of the world. Kat was clearly in love with Gale but not admitting it to herself. I'd have liked a happy reunion with him - but of course that wouldn't fit in with all the events of book 2.
Dave F. said...I was sorry the Peeta/Gale thing wasn't resolved but this story needed some sort of romantic element. Katniss can't be a celibate nun with aspirations of being Joan of Arc. We'd all hate that. She's got a taste of girly-hood and boys will follow.
Rachel said...If it's Peeta vs. Gale, I vote Peeta. He's been onscreen a lot longer and gone through more with/for Kat. My guess is that, in the third book, one of them dies. That'll solve it easily enough.
fairyhedgehog said...I think Rachel is right. Killing off a character is an easy way out in this book. I reckon she'll end up with Gale though because he's her true love (sic).
Evil Editor said...I agree, she should go for Peeta. But women never know what's good for them.
Robin S. said...And HA Sparky - FH and I are here with you, aren't we?!
fairyhedgehog said...I think Katniss has to survive book two, and I'm guessing she's alive at the end of book three.
Dave F. said...According to the public blurb on AMAZON, Book 3 is called Mockingjay. With a title like that, Katniss' personal pin, she better survive.
Robin S. said...Anyway, the world of this book - no way could I take this for 3 books. I'd need to go on anti-depressants.
sylvia said...I enjoyed it though - I think that's what makes it frustrating :D
fairyhedgehog said...I'm enjoying the second one less. It's just as fast a read but I'm finding it more depressing. I think the excitement overcame the depression in the first book.
Dave F. said...And it is ghoulish: "The arenas are historic sites, preserved after the game. Popular destinations for Capitol residents to visit, to vacation. Go for a month, rewatch the games, tour the catacombs, visit the sites where the deaths too place. You can even take part in reenactments. They say the food is excellent." At least when Schwarzenegger did THE RUNNING MAN they paid homage to the dead contestants in the movie. This story turns the arenas into vacation play spots. It's not like Gettysburg (about 150 miles away from where I live) where even when the re-enacters do their thing, it is a memorial to a just cause. The arenas in The Hunger Game memorialize an invented competition for keeping the population mollified.
sylvia said...I think that was part of the point - it's a form of gladiators and people really are ghoulish when given permission. Add to that the competitive aspects of the districts and I saw this as pretty believable.
fairyhedgehog said...Dave, I think we're meant to be horrified. The Capitol treats it like Big Brother but to the contestants it's genuinely life or death - and mostly death.
Robin S. said...Also it pisses me off, seeing people in a captured lifestyle and having to fight to the death. Makes me want to lead an insurrection to wipe those assholes who planned this thing - OUT. Capitol, schmapitol.
sylvia said...The entire scenario was depressing but I don't know, that aspect didn't bother me so much. I thought the world-building she did was really clever. I never felt like someone was sitting me down and explaining how things worked, it was all done with context.
Dave F. said...It's well written. Collins is a good writer and the "world" is well-built and fleshed-out. I just think it's too dark. I would have trouble reading this with a kid and having to explain the occurrences. Perhaps that's just me. I suspect so. I wanted this to be an adult story and I think that what book 2 and 3 do is to take the story into the political realm and reveal the corruption and rot in the society that is only hinted at in the first book.
fairyhedgehog said...Like you, Dave, I wouldn't want to read this with a kid. I enjoyed it though and I'm getting the sense that you hated it?
Evil Editor said...Book 2 starts out depressing, and the twist revealed in chapter 12 makes it interesting and by the end hopefulness has crept in.
Robin S. said...You're right, Sylvia. The world-building really was well done. I believed it enough that it pissed me off. People really are ghoulish and disgusting when they are let loose to show it. I totally believed in the monstrous things I read in The Road, because of that. The Road is one of my top 10 all-time favorite novels. Resonant doesn't even begin to explain how I feel about it. This one - not really in the same league. A passing fancy kind of thing.
sylvia said...The Road is an example of a book that is too depressing for me to cope with reading a second book set in the same world. I finished it in the middle of the night and just cried. I'm looking forward to reading book 2 of this series though, I just felt a little bit tricked at the end of book 1.
Robin S. said...Agree. The Road had to be a standalone. I couldn't have 'gone there' again! This novel really isn't my scene, but I read it because I'm working on expanding my reading horizions with EE's Chats. I see no POINT, no end game to it, nothing that stays with me, other than 'ewww', to be honest. I think that means that a little more emotional/directional 'closure', for lack of a better word here, would have helped.
Dave F. said...Although I have watched the first of each at the insistence of friends, I will not watch the sequels of the SAW or HOSTEL movies. Nor do I seek out those blood-splatterific stories that so populate the "B" movie rolls. I usually don't/won't read much vampire and wolf because of the blood. I don't watch the Law and Order: Special Crimes Unit because it's all slasher crime or worse, child abuse. I'm a little weird that way. I'm not a fan of bloody films. I do like a good, solid tear-jerking family movie in the old sense of great story and good dialogue, etc... All three books might do that but at this point, I've got three other novels started and they are holding my interest. I don't want to invest time in this sad, sad, world. And that's just me.
fairyhedgehog said...It didn't feel like a kid's story to me, despite the young protagonists and the ease of reading. It felt like an adult's book, simply written.
sylvia said...My son read this at 14 (I think? certainly it was a while ago) and read book 2 this year. He didn't seem too traumatised but I think the combination of that and Doctorow's "Big Brother" seeded his current interest in dystopian fiction.
fairyhedgehog said...My kids are grown up so I was only thinking of my own enjoyment as I read it.
Evil Editor said...There's a more adult version of this story (that Collins, it has been suggested, may have borrowed from) called Battle Royale. By a Japanese author, been made into a film.
Rachel said...movie: FYI, the movie is due out 2011. Enough people were interested that Suzanne Collins was able to attach herself to the deal, and she's adapting the script. Apparently she's done some TV work before, which should help. One of the issues, I've heard (besides who's playing Kat), is making sure that the big screen doesn't follow the Hunger Games in the way the media in the book does. They've got to translate the distaste for that sensationalism into a movie that, while in some ways is sensational for that reason, does not condone it. Anyway, I'm planning on memorizing its release date and seeing in theaters ASAP. The only other movies I've done that for are Narnia and Despicable Me.
sylvia said...To be honest, while reading it I thought - this is clearly going to get filmed. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that it was written with a screenplay in mind.
sylvia said...Ah hah: Battle Royale (Gollancz S.F.): Amazon.co.uk: Koushun Takami: Books although it does have one review saying the translation is awful :(
Rachel said...The first time I read this, I kind of expected what would happen to Rue, but it didn't really diminish the story. I figured that, if Kat's the good guy, she's got to get through killing people as innocently as possible. She can't kill in cold blood and still be our hero, so that left accident (Foxface), defence (Glimmer and the girl from 4), mercy (Cato), and justified/revenge (the boy from 1). Rue was different, though. For Kat to survive the Games, Rue had to die. Basically, that's the only way it could happen without hurting Kat in the reader's eyes.
fairyhedgehog said...Yes, Rue's death was inevitable. I still found it touching, though.
And it was clever that she got Kat out of killing Peeta altogether.
fairyhedgehog said...I don't want to give out spoilers, but I think that the second book is hinting that more major changes might occur in this world. I hope I'm reading it right. (I'm on chapter 18). EE you've probably got more idea as you've finished book 2.
Evil Editor said...Yes, FH, if at the end of book 1 you have no inkling that the districts are moving toward rebellion, that all they need is some figurehead leader to get behind, then I can see how this book would seem to be just a story set in a bleak and hopeless world. I'm hanging in there.
Robin S. said...A move toward rebellion, even a thought toward a move toward rebellion, in this one, would've made it worth the read for me. At the end of reading this one, I just felt hopeless and sad. And, as Sylvia mentioned, I felt like t was a screenplay - a fleshed-out screenplay.
Dave F. said...There are hints at rebels in the first book. I'm not sure if it is strong enough. I struggle with that when I write, How much twist can you provide with an ending before you anger the reader? How much do you foreshadow the final act.
Dave F. said...I said in another comment thread that I could handle "THE EMERALD FOREST" which has "breasts" in it (lots of breasts) and Bruce Willis' DIE HARD (vulgar language) when my nephews and nieces were teens. I don't have a good reference for this story in my head. It's like the original Grimm's Fairy tales. Years ago I read Rotkapchen (sorry, I can't add the umlauts) in the original German and it's quite bloody. Lots of the original fairy tales are scares -- Hansel and Gretel is a tale of abandonment. Maybe I one needs a different frame of reference when the teen says "What's with this world?" than I have.
sylvia said...Ah, that's an interesting point, Dave. I grew up on the original Grimm's versions, where stepmothers danced in iron shoes on hot coals until they died. My mother likes to tell the story that I read all these without wincing (I think most children have a strong sense of "right and wrong" and enjoy seeing the bad guys get punished, it's only when you shift to shades of grey that they get uncomfortable) but then screamed and cried when she took me to see Disney's Snow White. She had to take me outside to calm down from the forest scene.
Rachel said...I loved the descriptions of Kat's outfits. I'd wear them--though I'd join Kat in being afraid my hair would catch on fire. I liked how descriptions of food played into Kat's personality. Hunger and survival are so integral to her identity that it'd be out of character for her not to notice every detail of what she eats. The results make me hungry.
fairyhedgehog said...It's interesting what Collins chooses to describe and what she doesn't. I don't remember much description of the woods, or the home, but masses about the clothes and the food. Which I was shallow enough to enjoy!
Robin S. said...As Rachel mentioned, FH, the food was integral - so not shallow, but spot on, girl.
fairyhedgehog said...OK, food description not shallow! Good point Robin and Sylvia. Is the clothes description shallow? I enjoyed it and the clothes were very extreme. I liked the way they were so high-tech.
Dave F. said...Collins focuses the story on particular elements -- food, clothing, the hunting elements in the game. She doesn't wander around the landscape. That works in this story. The high tech stuff of the big city serves to highlight the oppression of the districts. Why can't the districts share in the bounty? That's the liberal democrat in me creeping out and waving HI!
sylvia said...I thought it was clear that rebellion was in the air but not ready to come to fruition. I agree with Rachel that the food descriptions were really telling of Kat's viewpoint. Much more effective than telling us that she was used to going hungry. The gadgetry was interesting but almost distracting. I didn't mind it but the story could have been futuristic without quite so much. On the other hand, it's fun to imagine what things will be like.
Evil Editor said...Isn't it about time all the countries of the world settled their disputes with Hunger Games instead of wars?
fairyhedgehog said...So who's going to volunteer to fight to the death? And what do the winners get?
Evil Editor said...Volunteers would be too easy to find. We need to have a reaping.
fairyhedgehog said...Truly, you are an Evil Editor!
Robin S. said...With all of the dumbass reality shows on TV now, and the fascination with people who aren't actually accomplishing anything, I can see where this would be a natural extension of where we'd be if there were a natural disaster of wide-reaching proportions. There's an interesting book- Full Circle - How the Classical World Came Back to Us - that talks about how we are not different from the Romans, etc., except for our technology. And they were certainly a bloodthirsty lot. And in the end, they went for bullshit entertainment as well. Something to think about...Maybe I should move to somewhere very remote.
sylvia said...I definitely took it to be a direct commentary on the modern world, especially reality shows but also the contrast between rich and poor, gossip magazines vs. starving children.
Rachel said...I was a bit confused on the layout of Panem. What I've gathered: the Capital is in the Rockies, leaning toward the west coast; 12 is/was Appalachia; 11 is/was the southern US; and 13 is/was Washington DC. What confuses me is their size. District 12 seems to be small enough that it's one town and the surrounding area and mines, plus the off-limit forest outside the fence. Everything's within walking distance. The Appalachians are a lot bigger than that at the moment, and this small place is providing coal for the nation? I guess what I'm saying is that I see two options: Panem consists of fenced-in districts with lots of empty space between them, or districts border very directly on each other. The first seems more likely, since every district has a town square where everybody has to assemble for the reaping, all within walking distance. That, and there seems to be enough wilderness between places for the Hunger Games to have a new, large arena every time. I could be weird on my economics, but I wonder how places that small can support such a gaudy and technological capital.
fairyhedgehog said...Not being in the US, the geography passed me by completely as well.
sylvia said...I presumed that the districts were separated by wasteland, I think the train journey and the reference to locations for the Hunger Game are what made me visualise it that way. I have to admit, I didn't try to map the geography onto the US.
Evil Editor said...Tech-wise, I found it hard to buy how there seemed to be enough cameras to record everything that happened in the arena. Were the contestants wearing cameras and microphones?
fairyhedgehog said...I was in a "a sufficiently advanced technology appears to be magic" mode, so the logistics of the technology didn't worry me.
Robin S. said...I never worry either, about the tech aspects - tech is magic to me now, so hey, future tech is magic, too.
fairyhedgehog said... *laughs*
Evil Editor said...I don't remember if Haymitch was a major character in book 1, but he is a cool character, at least in book 2.
Dave F. said...Katniss doesn't like Haymitch in book one. She thinks he;s a drunk. I think he's a drunk because he takes care of a kid who dies every year and is trying to assuage his conscience. But we don't see much of him because Katniss doesn't want him around. It's the POV that Collins holds so tight.
sylvia said...Haymitch: "I think he's a drunk because he takes care of a kid who dies every year and is trying to assuage his conscience." That was completely my take on him and I thought it was interesting how that came across despite the fact that Kat doesn't see it that way.
fairyhedgehog said...sylvia, yes Collins is very good at giving a wider picture, while keeping the point of view tight. I expected to hate this, for all the reasons Dave has given, and I'm not sure why I didn't. I think I just got too caught up in it.
Dave F. said...fairyhedgehog, My notes (Yes, I take notes as I read a book. I'm that anal retentive.) are definitely harsher than my statements in the discussion. I did like and enjoy the book.
Evil Editor said...Wouldn't it have made for better TV to choose adults instead of kids for the games?
sylvia said...No, adults would give up too easily. And YA sells better. :D
Robin S. said...I'd have gone for this more if adults were in the game. But then younger readers couldn't have identified with the characters, and it wouldn't have sold as well, I'm guessing.
fairyhedgehog said...So, EE, I'm getting a bit depressed by book two despite enjoying the first one. Is it worth reading to the end?
Evil Editor said...I think if the Hunger Games themselves don't interest you, maybe the series isn't for you. It's sort of like reading a great baseball book, but having no interest in baseball. Once the game starts, you tune out. I'm expecting the series to have a happy ending.
fairyhedgehog said...I'm hoping for a happy ending too. I'll feel desperately cheated if there isn't one.
Sarah Laurenson said...Hey all, Sorry, but I overslept. And I'm rushing off now. But I had to pop in because this was one of those rare books that I could not put down once I started reading it. 3:45am - I finally turned off the light, but only because I had reached the end. I'll be back later to read all the comments.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Success Story
Steve Prosapio reports that his novel Dream War (Face-Lift 127), available as an e-book at Amazon.com, has been flying through the ether ever since it was featured at this sci-fi review site, as people flock to see how many of the book's ideas were stolen by the recently released film, Inception.
New Beginning 771
It was the fault of the wind, but on Xenos it often is. The wind scours Xenos's surface, stirring up the storms of dust, tearing off anything not sealed down, throwing itself against the domed skylights that light the underground cities. It batters the sensors around those hub cities, and the sensors whirl and scream their own storm of warnings into the hub networks. From this seething storm of warnings, the network processors pull their data and send it rapid fire to the exit terminals to show as a simple, coded warning.
That morning, at the south west exit Hub 4, the warnings from the sensors, the three that hadn't been torn off by the wind, showed as a bar of orange on the very edge of the red. The accompanying key flashed "Access by Essential Personnel Only".
An apprentice food technician was not Essential Personnel so Chev Layman swung his bag back onto his shoulder and left the exit room.
In the supply room outside Hub 6, he unloaded the bag, putting the rare spices in the lock-box and the dragonfish in the refrigeration unit. Ramsay came in and said, "What the fuck?"
"It's like a never-ending tornado out there," Chev replied. "Maybe we should bring everyone inside."
"Shit, no," Ramsay said. "Maybe now we'll find out how well the chefs on Hell's Kitchen: Xenos can fucking improvise."
Opening: Xenith.....Continuation: Evil Editor
That morning, at the south west exit Hub 4, the warnings from the sensors, the three that hadn't been torn off by the wind, showed as a bar of orange on the very edge of the red. The accompanying key flashed "Access by Essential Personnel Only".
An apprentice food technician was not Essential Personnel so Chev Layman swung his bag back onto his shoulder and left the exit room.
In the supply room outside Hub 6, he unloaded the bag, putting the rare spices in the lock-box and the dragonfish in the refrigeration unit. Ramsay came in and said, "What the fuck?"
"It's like a never-ending tornado out there," Chev replied. "Maybe we should bring everyone inside."
"Shit, no," Ramsay said. "Maybe now we'll find out how well the chefs on Hell's Kitchen: Xenos can fucking improvise."
Opening: Xenith.....Continuation: Evil Editor
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Face-Lift 802
Guess the Plot
Book of the Baba Yaga
1. Dmitri's family died in the Holocaust. All he has is a battered copy of "The Book of the Baba Yaga" to guide him to his Russian roots. Can Svetlana from the library help him--or is she trying to thwart him?
2. Young Baba was sent by her parents to learn magic with the local witch. But when famine strikes, the witch declares her intent to eat Baba to survive. With the help of another captive, a handsome boy, Baba must use what little magic she's learned to trick the witch and escape before she's turned into brisket.
3. 13-year-old Samantha is invited to attend Dr. Xenon's Olympic archery training facility, which is also the tree-dwelling Baba Yaga's home. Xenon is responsible for making the Olympic medals, using gold he creates from souls in hell. When Sam discovers her friend Jonah, who's been missing two years, is in hell, she heads off to rescue him. Think Dante's Inferno for the middle school crowd.
4. Tessa wants to be Prom Queen but she's short, plump, and homely--until she finds a mysterious book of beauty secrets that really work. The first time she uses it, her complexion clears but her best friend is covered in zits. She tries the spells for glossy hair and a slimmer waist; other friends get bald and fat, confirming that not only do the beauty tips work, each comes with an unexpected bonus.
5. It wasn't enough that David's brother became Oxford's youngest ever linguistics professor, admired for his abstract ravings. Now the little toddler has a book contract. Will David expose his parents' intention to replace the English language with gibberish before publication?
6. To read the book of Baba Yaga is to have your eyes opened--quite literally--to every ghoul and spirit visiting our plane. But to survive the experience you must not only finish the book, you must pass it on to the next unsuspecting soul. When Father Gregory happens upon the book he must decide whether to die or damn another to his fate.
Original Version
Dear Agent,
I am seeking representation for my middle reader fantasy, BOOK OF THE BABA YAGA. In this story of alchemy, wealth and mystery, thirteen-year-old Samantha Liffey must cross a forbidden Gate and journey through Hell – literally – to save a friend from losing his soul.
Thirteen-year-old uber-archer Sam [Are you going to tell us her age every time you mention her? She's 13. We got it.] is super excited when she qualifies for top-secret, exclusive Xenith Academy, where the world’s leading young athletes train for the Olympics. [How can a place remain top-secret, if the world’s leading young athletes regularly go there?] From the moment she arrives in the Baba Yaga’s treetop cabin with a talking doll as her guide, she's engulfed in a world like nothing she ever imagined. [I can't tell if you've jumped ahead three chapters or if it's the normal chain of events for someone going to Xenith Academy to be guided to the Baba Yaga's treetop cabin by a talking doll. Also, you might want to identify the Baba Yaga for those who never heard the name. You throw it in like you expect us to know who/what the Baba Yaga is and why Sam is in the Baba Yaga's cabin. What you need is to start that sentence with a transitional phrase that lets us know you haven't switched to a different novel. Something like: But instead of the Academy, her guide whisks her off to the treetop cabin of the evil witch known as . . . the Baba Yaga!] [Or: Arriving on the Academy campus, Sam is taken to her archery instructor, a strict disciplinarian who lives in a tree and is known only by the terror-inducing name . . . Baba Yaga!] [Note that in both cases I left out the part about her guide being a talking doll.] [Although now that I think about it, Baba Yaga does sound like something a talking doll would say.] [Baba Yaga being introduced to Lady Gaga by Lady Gaga's daughter: "Baba Yaga, Mama Gaga. Mama Gaga, Baba Yaga."]
Dr. Xenon, president of the Academy, has a remarkable skill: he makes gold using soul energy, or qi, in the land beyond a forbidden Gate. [If you don't want people going through your Gate, you probably shouldn't keep capitalizing the word "Gate." Human nature dictates that people who would totally ignore a gate will do anything in their power to pass through a Gate.] That’s where Olympic medals come from, [Does qi also make silver and bronze?] and there’s plenty left over to make the Academy extremely wealthy. But Sam’s dreams of Olympic gold begin to crumble when she’s sucked into the search for her childhood friend Jonah, who vanished after sneaking into Dr. Xenon’s laboratory two years ago. [Did Sam know about this all along?] With the help of her friends, she figures out how to get through the Gate, only to discover it leads to Hell. [How can she tell where it leads? Is there a sign? A road paved with good intentions?] Inside, soul eating monsters are on the prowl. They steal qi from anyone brave enough – or stupid enough – to enter. Sam’s journey grows more difficult when Hell turns out to be as psychological as it is physical. [Drop that sentence or give a specific example.] Even Sam’s own sister turns out to be a far different person than the girl Sam thought she knew. [Where did that come from? What's her sister doing in this top-secret place?] Sam must find a way to rescue Jonah [Did she happen to bring her bow and arrows when she went through the Gate?] without losing those she loves, all the while struggling to accept painful truths about herself and her family. [Sis and family haven't even been in the query, and now they're brought in like they're of vital importance. Get rid of them.]
Loosely based on Dante’s Inferno and Slavic mythology, BOOK OF THE BABA YAGA is complete at 63,000 words. I would be delighted to send you a partial or a full manuscript should you be interested.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Notes
First of all, the opening paragraph is a waste of space. There's nothing in it that you don't repeat later on. Get rid of it.
The International Olympic Committee is extremely touchy about things like claiming their medals are forged in hell. Maybe Sam should be looking into the World Junior Archery Championships.
It sounds like the main plot is rescuing Jonah. If Sam accepted the invitation to the Academy knowing that Jonah vanished from it two years earlier, and hoping to solve the mystery, make that clear early on.
What was Jonah doing in Xenon's lab two years ago? The place is top-secret. Was he an aspiring Olympic athlete too? I don't see how a world-class athlete could vanish forever from Xenith Academy, and the place still be top-secret. It should have been in the news for weeks.
Is it called Book of the Baba Yaga because there's an important book involved, or just because it is a book?
Can anyone remember the last time we had a query that wasn't set partially in hell?
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Face-Lift 801
Guess the Plot
Stairway to Hell
1. Evangeline is banished to hell for something she didn't do, as God screws up for the first time ever. There, she is nominated to become the next Satan. Hey, it's better than working at Starbucks.
2. There's a long, dark stairway descending to Hell, and a bright, quick escalator ascending to Heaven. Now a venerable and ravishingly handsome editor is ready to face his eternal reward. But for some reason, these stairs aren't moving.
3. Every day for thirty years Bob Henshaw has climbed the stairs to his desk at McMurty and Sons. Every day, that is, through last Friday, when they laid him off. It's Monday, Bob's climbing the stairs, and he has an AK47.
4. Peter Miff, once a prominent real-estate developer, decides to undertake mankind's greatest project: an escalator to the moon. He soon goes broke, his investors back out and he has three months to complete the project or lose everything. Think Moby Dick but with stairs instead of a whale.
5. Ringo is a frustrated drummer. Labeled “derivative” after attempts to produce his songs “Stairway to Heaven” and “Highway to Hell,” he meets two blokes (John & Paul) who promise stardom. But when they fail to get Spanish guitarist Jorge to change his name and join them, obscurity ensues.
6. The time was long overdue. The fans increasingly demanded it. The producers insisted it could not be done. But one garage band insists on heading the wrong way, on playing the ultimate sequel, on braving the . . . Stairway To Hell.
Original Version
Dear Evil Editor,
Banished from Heaven after her teammate broke a couple rules too many, an ex-stellar angel has had to resign herself to living in Satan's world. [Whattaya mean, her teammate? Are we talking about the Los Angeles Angels? Because I don't think the baseball rules specifically prohibit stuff that would warrant a one-way trip to hell.] She hates it there, [As I understand it, that's pretty much the idea behind hell.] but that doesn't mean she wants to die. [I thought being dead was one of the prerequisites for getting in.] Unfortunately for her, it looks like she won't have much of a say in that.
When fourteen-year-old Evangeline Faure learns that she has only three years until the curse set on all Hell-based angels kills her, [She's currently alive.] she decides to live life at the fullest. [She's currently alive.] That includes admitting that what she feels for a certain war commander isn't just platonic friendship, accepting that the war against Heaven is justified, and dealing with the fact that she has been lied to her whole life. [She's currently alive.] Uh, death. [She's dead? I missed it! You've been talking about her as if she's alive. Has she been dead the whole time?]
But she only understands the true meaning of life and death when her cherished commander is murdered, and suddenly everyone expects her to avenge him. Evangeline has never killed before, unless you count picking four-leaf clovers – which the demons in Hell apparently don't. [I don't see what this clover sentence is adding. No one considers picking clover killing.] So it comes as a surprise to her when she is nominated to become the next Satan, and an even bigger one when the friend who got her into this mess comes back [Comes back to hell? Has he been here before?] and tries to claim the title for himself. Then, as though her life wasn't complicated enough as it was, [She's alive.] the murderer comes after her.
Her life... starts now. [She wasn't alive?] [What does Her life... starts now. mean?]
STAIRWAY TO HELL is a 70,000-word young adult fantasy novel and the first book of a planned series, though it can stand alone.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you,
Notes
It's not clear enough to me. I'd leave out the war commander. Tell us exactly what happened to get Eva banished to hell. Then skip to getting nominated as the next Satan. What are her goals, what's standing between her and her goals, and what does she plan to do about it?
What is hell like? Are those in hell alive? What's the incentive to murder someone if you're both in hell? Give us a taste of the setting.
Q & A 181
So EE, what gives? There seems to be a common litany being chanted among your faithful these days: "Why am I not getting more requests?" These aren't cases where we've ignored your wise and inappropriately appropriate blue remarks, but cases where we've applied ourselves and learned at the feet of the master. The minions have left off eviscerating our ideas and words and started high-fiving us. And, most gloriously, we've received the coveted "This isn't total dreck" response from the master himself.
We've sent our well-groomed queries confidently into the world -- and yet they are met with rejection after rejection after rejection. Granted, our work may fall apart somewhere after the first few pages and be utter drivel, but no one will ever know because no one asks to see more. Are we missing the secret handshake or the right connections, or is publishing as we know it already in its death throes and no one has bothered to tell us? Are agents secretly packing up their desks in anticipation? Is it time we all rush over to Amazon and upload our novels there before the rest of the author-wannabes all catch on?
Help us, Obi-Wan EE; you're our only hope.
Then you're in trouble.
Sometimes I consider bidding on an agent in the Brenda Novak auction. Surely any agent would want to represent Evil Editor, with his platform that guarantees dozens of sales of anything he writes, especially his latest project, a collection of his favorite writing exercises, namely the ones written by him.
But as I scroll through the numerous auction options I realize that most of the agents look like they're twenty-five-year-old part-time real estate agents. And I think, When I was that age, I was an idiot. Ten years later I was smarter, but looking back now, I was still an idiot. And if I, the smartest person I know, wasn't smart enough to realize I was an idiot, why would I want to put my career in the hands of one of these agents?
Perhaps the best way to handle this is to start our own literary agency. We could call it the Evil Editor Literary Agency if you want, but people are predisposed to expect rejection from EE, so I propose that we call it the Hannah Rogers Literary Agency. I've chosen a photo of our fictional figurehead from my files:
Note that she looks mature, business-like, easy to get along with. Kind and sweet, yet sharp. She looks like she's just read your query letter and is phoning you to offer representation. Or maybe she's phoning to read you the terms of that six-figure contract a publisher just faxed her.
Now, we need a few minions to volunteer to read query letters and decide whether to request manuscripts. And others who'll be in charge of reading the requested manuscripts. Eventually, once we agree on our first winner, we'll submit it to publishers, who will give it serious consideration because it came from the Hannah Rogers Literary Agency. Each of us will get fifteen percent.
I have other photos of Hannah, in each of which she's on the phone negotiating higher advances. Someone should put together a Hannah Rogers Literary Agency website. It'll need a bio page, so submit any info you think should be on that page as a comment.
We've sent our well-groomed queries confidently into the world -- and yet they are met with rejection after rejection after rejection. Granted, our work may fall apart somewhere after the first few pages and be utter drivel, but no one will ever know because no one asks to see more. Are we missing the secret handshake or the right connections, or is publishing as we know it already in its death throes and no one has bothered to tell us? Are agents secretly packing up their desks in anticipation? Is it time we all rush over to Amazon and upload our novels there before the rest of the author-wannabes all catch on?
Help us, Obi-Wan EE; you're our only hope.
Then you're in trouble.
Sometimes I consider bidding on an agent in the Brenda Novak auction. Surely any agent would want to represent Evil Editor, with his platform that guarantees dozens of sales of anything he writes, especially his latest project, a collection of his favorite writing exercises, namely the ones written by him.
But as I scroll through the numerous auction options I realize that most of the agents look like they're twenty-five-year-old part-time real estate agents. And I think, When I was that age, I was an idiot. Ten years later I was smarter, but looking back now, I was still an idiot. And if I, the smartest person I know, wasn't smart enough to realize I was an idiot, why would I want to put my career in the hands of one of these agents?
Perhaps the best way to handle this is to start our own literary agency. We could call it the Evil Editor Literary Agency if you want, but people are predisposed to expect rejection from EE, so I propose that we call it the Hannah Rogers Literary Agency. I've chosen a photo of our fictional figurehead from my files:
Note that she looks mature, business-like, easy to get along with. Kind and sweet, yet sharp. She looks like she's just read your query letter and is phoning you to offer representation. Or maybe she's phoning to read you the terms of that six-figure contract a publisher just faxed her.
Now, we need a few minions to volunteer to read query letters and decide whether to request manuscripts. And others who'll be in charge of reading the requested manuscripts. Eventually, once we agree on our first winner, we'll submit it to publishers, who will give it serious consideration because it came from the Hannah Rogers Literary Agency. Each of us will get fifteen percent.
I have other photos of Hannah, in each of which she's on the phone negotiating higher advances. Someone should put together a Hannah Rogers Literary Agency website. It'll need a bio page, so submit any info you think should be on that page as a comment.
Monday, July 26, 2010
New Beginning 770
The war ended when the sky exploded like a month of sunrises, turning from blues and yellows to violets and poisonous greens. A second sun shone before the blast wave hit, bending the trees, shaking the ground.
His instruments glitched as the magnetics swirled outward from the imploding FTL drive. Sammy shut down, disconnected his power cell and curled his armor around him like an old-earth armadillo. Life or death, regardless, he'd know in a few minutes. The shadow of Tobald the Warrior intruded.
"You want to meet Death, Tobald?" Sammy asked.
"You will meet Death before I do, earthman."
"Death just appeared in your sky and he's going to reach down and take you and me both," Sammy eyed the giant lizard. Tobald pulled the trigger. The gun sputtered and burnt his hand.
"What sort of earth magic is this?"
"Not magic, science. Your rockets destroyed the battleship's shell but the heart of the battleship, the FTL, is imploding. When you burn the heart of a sky warrior, it burns the sky."
"And so you curl up to die."
“Technically,” Sammy said, “I'm curling up to live. Feel free to meet the blast wave head-on like a warrior, though. I'm sure your ancestors will be impressed.”
Tobald turned away, staring up at the neon stormcloud of the exploding warship. “Your Death-magic is puny. I feel nothing.”
“What you're not feeling is neutron radiation. Give it a minute.” Sammy found the seldom-used manual control switch inside his left gauntlet. He clicked it two positions down, thought about the sequence he'd memorized years ago in boot camp, then moved it one more notch. He raised his arm.
Tobald's laughter was a guttural clacking. “Typical earthman warfare. Noise and light. You have no--”
To his credit, Tobald didn't cry out when the synthetic neutronium round from the slugthrower on Sammy's left forearm punched through his chitin armor. The bipedal lizard stumbled forward with a grunt, falling through a cloud of his own blood as he toppled into the knee-high alien sward.
Sammy strained up onto his feet, fighting the sluggish artificial musculature of his armor that was only just starting to come back to life after the EMP burst. The slugger was an effective antipersonnel weapon in a pinch, but with his suit's electronic fire control suite knocked offline by the battleship's electromagnetic death throes, it was only good for one shot against a close, stationary target--a tribal warrior who turned his back on a live threat and looked up at pretty lights in the the sky, for instance.
“Been nice talking to you, Tobald,” Sammy said to the still form in the flattened grass. “But where I come from, we call that a Close Encounter of the Twenty Millimeter Kind.”
Opening: Dave F......Continuation: Sean
His instruments glitched as the magnetics swirled outward from the imploding FTL drive. Sammy shut down, disconnected his power cell and curled his armor around him like an old-earth armadillo. Life or death, regardless, he'd know in a few minutes. The shadow of Tobald the Warrior intruded.
"You want to meet Death, Tobald?" Sammy asked.
"You will meet Death before I do, earthman."
"Death just appeared in your sky and he's going to reach down and take you and me both," Sammy eyed the giant lizard. Tobald pulled the trigger. The gun sputtered and burnt his hand.
"What sort of earth magic is this?"
"Not magic, science. Your rockets destroyed the battleship's shell but the heart of the battleship, the FTL, is imploding. When you burn the heart of a sky warrior, it burns the sky."
"And so you curl up to die."
“Technically,” Sammy said, “I'm curling up to live. Feel free to meet the blast wave head-on like a warrior, though. I'm sure your ancestors will be impressed.”
Tobald turned away, staring up at the neon stormcloud of the exploding warship. “Your Death-magic is puny. I feel nothing.”
“What you're not feeling is neutron radiation. Give it a minute.” Sammy found the seldom-used manual control switch inside his left gauntlet. He clicked it two positions down, thought about the sequence he'd memorized years ago in boot camp, then moved it one more notch. He raised his arm.
Tobald's laughter was a guttural clacking. “Typical earthman warfare. Noise and light. You have no--”
To his credit, Tobald didn't cry out when the synthetic neutronium round from the slugthrower on Sammy's left forearm punched through his chitin armor. The bipedal lizard stumbled forward with a grunt, falling through a cloud of his own blood as he toppled into the knee-high alien sward.
Sammy strained up onto his feet, fighting the sluggish artificial musculature of his armor that was only just starting to come back to life after the EMP burst. The slugger was an effective antipersonnel weapon in a pinch, but with his suit's electronic fire control suite knocked offline by the battleship's electromagnetic death throes, it was only good for one shot against a close, stationary target--a tribal warrior who turned his back on a live threat and looked up at pretty lights in the the sky, for instance.
“Been nice talking to you, Tobald,” Sammy said to the still form in the flattened grass. “But where I come from, we call that a Close Encounter of the Twenty Millimeter Kind.”
Opening: Dave F......Continuation: Sean
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Grand Opening 6
It was a wrong number that started it, the telephone ringing three times in the dead of night, and the voice on the other end asking for someone he was not. A semi-conscious EE and a drunk-as-a-skunk homeboy searching, in the dark, for a meeting of minds.
"Yo Joe?"
"Ain't no Joe. I gotta cuppa Joe but ain't no Joe."
"Is dis da Pizza Place?"
"We're out of anchovies."
"No anchovies? Even Gitmo got anchovies. What kid of black ops you running there Joe."
"I told ya, ain't no Joe here."
"I knows dis is Joe's place. Cindy gave me da number.
"Cindy who knew?" EE chuckled.
"Not Cindy NewHoo, Cindy Louise Frattaratti from da Bronx. You know, the one with the big tits and orange hair."
"Never met her. Never met him. Ain't no Joe.
{Click}{Hangup}{Snuggle under cover for two minutes.}{Phone rings}
"Yo Joe?"
"Ain't no Joe. I gotta cuppa Joe but ain't no Joe. Coffee bad for Joe. Coffee give Joe Jitters and runs. Joe say go!"
"Well then, No-Joe, I'll take dat pizza without anchovies if you got pepperoni. Two if you can cook'em fast. But if ya don't got pepperoni, I ain't buying nothing... Alphonse and I got da munchies. It's our medicinal marijuana."
"There's no pizza. There never was pizza." The light from the phone's keypad lit up a half-eaten Chinese takeout container.
"Tell Joe dat Moe wants pizza and what Moe wants, Moe gets."
"How about leftover Moo Goo Gai Pan?"
"What's dat?"
"Pizza substitute. Tastes like chicken."
"Good. Gimme two. Hey Man, Cindy just walked in."
"Cindy who?" EE asked, rolling onto his side and pulling the sheet over his head.
"Cindy with da big tits. She say Joe coming wit pizza. Boy, you guys deliver fast! We goin'ta boogaloo tonight."
{Click}{Dial tone}{Hangup}
--Dave F. (First sentence: Paul Auster, City of Glass)
"Yo Joe?"
"Ain't no Joe. I gotta cuppa Joe but ain't no Joe."
"Is dis da Pizza Place?"
"We're out of anchovies."
"No anchovies? Even Gitmo got anchovies. What kid of black ops you running there Joe."
"I told ya, ain't no Joe here."
"I knows dis is Joe's place. Cindy gave me da number.
"Cindy who knew?" EE chuckled.
"Not Cindy NewHoo, Cindy Louise Frattaratti from da Bronx. You know, the one with the big tits and orange hair."
"Never met her. Never met him. Ain't no Joe.
{Click}{Hangup}{Snuggle under cover for two minutes.}{Phone rings}
"Yo Joe?"
"Ain't no Joe. I gotta cuppa Joe but ain't no Joe. Coffee bad for Joe. Coffee give Joe Jitters and runs. Joe say go!"
"Well then, No-Joe, I'll take dat pizza without anchovies if you got pepperoni. Two if you can cook'em fast. But if ya don't got pepperoni, I ain't buying nothing... Alphonse and I got da munchies. It's our medicinal marijuana."
"There's no pizza. There never was pizza." The light from the phone's keypad lit up a half-eaten Chinese takeout container.
"Tell Joe dat Moe wants pizza and what Moe wants, Moe gets."
"How about leftover Moo Goo Gai Pan?"
"What's dat?"
"Pizza substitute. Tastes like chicken."
"Good. Gimme two. Hey Man, Cindy just walked in."
"Cindy who?" EE asked, rolling onto his side and pulling the sheet over his head.
"Cindy with da big tits. She say Joe coming wit pizza. Boy, you guys deliver fast! We goin'ta boogaloo tonight."
{Click}{Dial tone}{Hangup}
--Dave F. (First sentence: Paul Auster, City of Glass)
Grand Opening 5
It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.
Mrs V glanced up from her desk. It was the day she had both hoped and feared would come, the day that prophets said would come, the day everything changed and the end of the world drew nigh.
Today was the day that Evil Editor accepted everything that crossed his desk.
--Khazar-khum (first sentence: George Orwell, 1984)
Mrs V glanced up from her desk. It was the day she had both hoped and feared would come, the day that prophets said would come, the day everything changed and the end of the world drew nigh.
Today was the day that Evil Editor accepted everything that crossed his desk.
--Khazar-khum (first sentence: George Orwell, 1984)
Grand Opening 4
Dr. Weiss, at forty, knew that her life had been ruined by literature. Literally. Or least the man who embodied literature. Evil Editor was the next psychiatric patient on her schedule, and he was one neurotic, dissatisfied, grumpy sonuvabitch. She hoped he hadn't read through any of that-- what had he called it... "slush pile" since their last session.
If she heard another whiny sniffle about dangling participles, Dr. Weiss would commit herself to an institution. She didn't even know what the hell a dangling participle was, and truth be told she didn't give a damn. Sitting in her leather arm chair, the intercom announced EE's arrival.
--Angie (First sentence: Anita Brookner, The Debut)
If she heard another whiny sniffle about dangling participles, Dr. Weiss would commit herself to an institution. She didn't even know what the hell a dangling participle was, and truth be told she didn't give a damn. Sitting in her leather arm chair, the intercom announced EE's arrival.
--Angie (First sentence: Anita Brookner, The Debut)
Grand Opening 3
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. But there’s more to it than the fortune. How did he get the fortune? Mafia? Well, that narrows the sort of wife he’ll want. Government? Well, can you see sweet Bessie Lou next door matched with Bill Clinton?
Actually, bad example. Moving on, it also depends on the particular qualities of a man. There’s no match for the Joker quite like Harley Quinn. And for people like Hilary and Bill—well, sometimes people just deserve each other.
How the man in question wishes to spend his fortune is another consideration. Will his money make his wife arm candy? Will he tour the world? Will he handmake panpipes and spend his life’s savings on craft fair entry fees?
Take yourself, for instance. Your fortune is in books. That means your match needs to be literary—an agent, perhaps, or at least someone who can place, “To be or not to be,” and “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
And your personality? That depends on whether you want someone to be your complement, or someone with a similar… robustness. So, strike out everyone who isn’t a doormat or a drill sergeant.
As for how you’d like to spend your money—well, sir, I’d suggest the girl who came in here last week and tried to buy peacock feathers and a paper mache kit, but I’m afraid she misquoted Macbeth.
Taking all this information into consideration, and accounting for your particular… habits, I’ve devised a list of possible matches. I think you’ll be delighted to know that each of the five is quite beautiful. The list is as… what’s that? Oh, rats, we’re out of word—
--_*rachel*_ (first sentence: Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice)
Actually, bad example. Moving on, it also depends on the particular qualities of a man. There’s no match for the Joker quite like Harley Quinn. And for people like Hilary and Bill—well, sometimes people just deserve each other.
How the man in question wishes to spend his fortune is another consideration. Will his money make his wife arm candy? Will he tour the world? Will he handmake panpipes and spend his life’s savings on craft fair entry fees?
Take yourself, for instance. Your fortune is in books. That means your match needs to be literary—an agent, perhaps, or at least someone who can place, “To be or not to be,” and “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
And your personality? That depends on whether you want someone to be your complement, or someone with a similar… robustness. So, strike out everyone who isn’t a doormat or a drill sergeant.
As for how you’d like to spend your money—well, sir, I’d suggest the girl who came in here last week and tried to buy peacock feathers and a paper mache kit, but I’m afraid she misquoted Macbeth.
Taking all this information into consideration, and accounting for your particular… habits, I’ve devised a list of possible matches. I think you’ll be delighted to know that each of the five is quite beautiful. The list is as… what’s that? Oh, rats, we’re out of word—
--_*rachel*_ (first sentence: Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice)
Grand Opening 2
I am an invisible man. Damn, I'm so excited!
Yesterday, I got my cloak of invisibility in the mail from an eBay bid. It's an amazing piece of technology and not a bad fit either. At this very moment, unbeknownst to Evil Editor, CEO of Evil Publishers, I'm hidden in his fancy, schmancy Park Avenue office.
"J.B, stop sending me this garbage! I've got mountains of it already."
He's not nearly as good-looking as I expected him to be. Someone should tell him to get that big wart removed.
"I told you, I want saints gone bad. That's the next trend."
I may be invisible, but I'm not noiseless. I have to be very quiet as I walk around his office. While he's not looking, I'll spread around copies of my novel Polygeddon: The Day the Earthquake, Tornado, and Tsunami Struck. After I leave, everywhere he'll turn in his office, he'll see my masterpiece—or disasterpiece, as I like to call it. St. Kendra can go to hell.
"I don't care what your Aunt Joycie likes, I said saints!"
He sure has a lot of bowling trophies. Then again, it makes sense with the wart.
"Who, the blonde? She needs a boob job. That's non-negotiable."
I'm sure I can find fifteen spots to leave my novel.
"Boob job. Boob, like you!"
Damn, what just whacked my arm?
"Watch it."
Who said that? What just brushed my other arm?
"Sorry."
Another voice. What is this?
"Get to the end of the line, jerk."
Another voice! And what pushed me? What's going on here?
"Wait a minute, JB…Hey, will you invisible assholes keep it down? I'm trying to work…Go on, JB. You know, I can't take a leak without this invisible human slush pile on my ass."
eBay sucks sometimes.
—Vivian Davenport (First sentence: Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man)
Yesterday, I got my cloak of invisibility in the mail from an eBay bid. It's an amazing piece of technology and not a bad fit either. At this very moment, unbeknownst to Evil Editor, CEO of Evil Publishers, I'm hidden in his fancy, schmancy Park Avenue office.
"J.B, stop sending me this garbage! I've got mountains of it already."
He's not nearly as good-looking as I expected him to be. Someone should tell him to get that big wart removed.
"I told you, I want saints gone bad. That's the next trend."
I may be invisible, but I'm not noiseless. I have to be very quiet as I walk around his office. While he's not looking, I'll spread around copies of my novel Polygeddon: The Day the Earthquake, Tornado, and Tsunami Struck. After I leave, everywhere he'll turn in his office, he'll see my masterpiece—or disasterpiece, as I like to call it. St. Kendra can go to hell.
"I don't care what your Aunt Joycie likes, I said saints!"
He sure has a lot of bowling trophies. Then again, it makes sense with the wart.
"Who, the blonde? She needs a boob job. That's non-negotiable."
I'm sure I can find fifteen spots to leave my novel.
"Boob job. Boob, like you!"
Damn, what just whacked my arm?
"Watch it."
Who said that? What just brushed my other arm?
"Sorry."
Another voice. What is this?
"Get to the end of the line, jerk."
Another voice! And what pushed me? What's going on here?
"Wait a minute, JB…Hey, will you invisible assholes keep it down? I'm trying to work…Go on, JB. You know, I can't take a leak without this invisible human slush pile on my ass."
eBay sucks sometimes.
—Vivian Davenport (First sentence: Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man)
Grand Opening 1
It was the day my grandmother exploded. And yet, surprisingly, it was not the explosion itself, nor even the way her liver hit the ceiling and stuck, hanging over the mashed potatoes like the sword of Damocles, leaking blood like pan drippings from a rare rump roast, that made the day memorable to me. Nor was it the fact that all of the potatoes got eaten anyway (more as a tribute to grandma, who had prepared them, than as a testament to their flavor, which was a bit more salty and coppery than usual), for when a person's last act on this Earth (previous to exploding) is the mashing of potatoes, it would be, we all agreed, highly ungracious not to empty the bowl and give a hearty belch.
No, what made the day memorable occurred several hours earlier when Mrs. V. offered me a bite of the mini bundt cake she bought at Galliano's bakery, which was so delicious I immediately sent her back out in a driving rainstorm to purchase four more of the delicacies, and consumed them all during my afternoon break. Delicious.
--Evil Editor (First sentence: Iain M. Banks, The Crow Road)
No, what made the day memorable occurred several hours earlier when Mrs. V. offered me a bite of the mini bundt cake she bought at Galliano's bakery, which was so delicious I immediately sent her back out in a driving rainstorm to purchase four more of the delicacies, and consumed them all during my afternoon break. Delicious.
--Evil Editor (First sentence: Iain M. Banks, The Crow Road)
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Face-Lift 800!!
Guess the Plot
Redemption
1. It's the same old Prodigal Son story, only this time the hero is gay and seeking acceptance from his black redneck family and it's about as naked a play for Literary Merit as you can make.
2. It says buy 1 tin of sardines, get 111 free. Don't give her any lip about misprints. Even if Ethel has to get her bumbling hitman grandson to whack everyone at Rite-Mart, she is going to redeem this coupon!
3. Holy visions appearing in the sky. Miraculous cures. Global warming eliminated. Turns out, Satan's teenage daughter is going through a rebellious phase. But when her good deeds actually earn her a ticket to the Pearly Gates, can she win the cute angel's heart before Heaven changes its mind?
4. Bane is destined to become a demon. Rayleigh owns the world's only sanctuary-from-demons zone. They meet and fall in love. But can either of them survive in the other's world? Can Bane join his soul mate by finding . . . Redemption?
5. When Harry was 17, his girlfriend fell off a bridge and drowned because he didn't know how to swim and couldn't save her. Now a professional lifeguard, he spends his days soothing his haunted conscience, making sure it never happens to anyone else. But what will happen when his new girlfriend convinces him to try skydiving?
6. Crooked stock trader Perry Jones is being haunted by a word: Redemption. Billboards, magazines, websites, he sees it everywhere, and treats it as a series of disturbing deja vus--until wee critters with red eyes and pitchforks start dogging him, and his Monday morning cappuccino has 'Redemption' written in the foam.
Original Version
Dear Evil Editor,
Reighlyn Anderson accepts the necessary dangers of loving Bane Thomas, even if with his cursed soul, he can’t promise her eternity. [The main problem with loving this guy is that even if it works out, he'll still be the Bane of her existence. Ba dum ching.]
When Bane Thomas learns of an Armistice Zone, [Once you've told us a character's first and last names, there's no need to use both again.] [Although in this case it does convince us that his name really is Bane Thomas and not Thomas Bane.] an area of land where Demons and The Fallen can do no harm, he knows it’s his one chance to protect his family. [This Zone better be the size of Asia, because there's gonna be six billion people trying to squeeze into it.] [Can you really trust demons to stay out of some arbitrarily designated zone? I'm sure when the idea of the Zone was proposed, the demons wouldn't have agreed unless . . .
Human Negotiator: Look, things aren't working out, we need a special zone where you guys aren't allowed to torment us.
Demon Negotiator: Yeah, right, the minute we agree to this zone, you'll all flock into it, and then who are we supposed to torment, cows?
Human Negotiator: Okay, okay, we'll keep the zone secret. Only I will know where it is.
Demon Negotiator: Fine, where will it be?
Human Negotiator: It'll be the area surrounding my property.]
While pursuing the land, he encounters a problem: Miss Reighlyn Anderson. In hopes of persuading her to sell, [To sell the Armistice Zone? She owns it?] Bane becomes the financial backer to her Crisis Center for Domestic Violence. While working with her he learns two things: selling is not in her vocabulary, and she’s undoubtedly penetrated his emotional wall of defense. [Can you come up with a less-clinical way of saying he's smitten?]
Unaware that her financial backer is also the despised developer after her land, Reighlyn soon realizes she’s falling for Bane, but determines there is something different about him after witnessing things beyond her explanation. [Like what?] Then, after revealing his special abilities during a crisis, [What special abilities? What crisis?] Bane’s compelled [Compelled by whom?] to tell her portions of his secret. [Which is that his soul is cursed? What portion of that does he tell her?] Soon after, Reighlyn struggles with the discovery that Bane’s not only her financial backer, but much more: the developer after her land, and to her surprise, a direct descendant of The Watchers, cursed to become what he despises most: a demon. [If you put this part about becoming a demon up front, this paragraph will be down to: Unaware that her financial backer is also the developer after her land, Reighlyn soon realizes she’s falling for Bane. Soon after, Reighlyn struggles with the discovery that Bane’s not only her financial backer, but the developer after her land. At this point you realize that's a lot of wordy repetition and just delete it.]
They accept the necessary risks to be together, [Odd that I can so easily accept the existence of Watchers and Demons and a demon-free zone, but I find it hard to accept that a woman who discovers that the guy she's fallen for has been hiding the fact that he's the despised developer who's been trying to get her property wouldn't toss him out on his ass.] but Bane fears he’s put her in more danger than he once believed possible when a punished demon arrives. [Are they together on her land, the Armistice Zone? If so, they're safe, right? If not, they're TSTL anyway.] Desperate to prevent his own sentencing, the demon attempts to create a gift for Satan. A gift of pure hate dwelling within Bane; hate so overwhelming he’ll beg to die, thus permitting Satan to capture him into servitude.
[Demon: Desperate to prevent my sentencing, I offer you the gift of a new servant: Bane Thomas.
Satan: Another servant? I got a billion servants already. I got a servant who massages my ass. I got a servant who wipes my ass. I got a servant who waxes my ass. Hell, my ass has more servants than the queen of England. You wanna give me a gift, find me some ice cream that doesn't melt in two seconds in this dump.]
The problem is, the demon plans on using Reighlyn’s death as the currency in which to purchase this gift. [I had a feeling some form of capitalism was the chosen economic system in hell.] Which leaves Bane on a race against time to rescue the one person he never thought could exist: his soul mate.
Redemption is a complete 93,000-word paranormal romance. I’d like to thank you for your time and your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Notes
Redemption is a popular title. Amazon lists over a half dozen books called Redemption. It was also the title of the books in Face-Lifts 690 and 643.
Who are the "family" Bane wants to protect by moving to the Zone? His parents and siblings? They're all descendants of the Watchers, right? Is he trying to protect them from himself? From demon hunters?
Is Bane the only person who knows Rayleigh's land is the Armistice Zone?
There's too much information here. Bane is destined to become a demon. Trying to buy the magical land where demons are benign, he falls in love with the landowner, Rayleigh. She loves him too, but when she sees him flying through the air with a glowing pitchfork she demands an explanation. (Romantic conflict.) He explains that he will become a demon unless he can live on her land. They move in together. (Conflict seemingly resolved.) Just when it looks like they'll live happily ever after, a demon shows up planning to kill Rayleigh to get in good with Satan. (Major obstacle that threatens happiness and expands word count by 20,000.) Focus on the romantic conflict and the obstacles. Leave out what's not essential to that.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Face-Lift 799
Guess the Plot
The Rain Legacy
1. Wet ground. Dirty cars. Floods. Weeds. And that unmistakable scent of ozone. But on the other hand: Fertile crops. Cool temperatures. A luscious array of flowers. And the billion-dollar umbrella industry. Want to read the book?
2. Lynette is only thirteen, and her father's been murdered and she doesn't know how to swing a sword, while the villain she faces has an army and 600 years of experience killing people and plundering kingdoms, but it's up to Lynette to save the world, and . . . Hey, it could be worse. Could be raining.
3. Emily watched her father, super villain Thundero, fail at a hundred different schemes to take over Sioux City with his rain-controlling powers. Now she's inherited his powers and his loser reputation. But she's setting her sights on a bigger prize: the Gobi desert.
4. What good is it, being the one true descendant of the last real rain dancer when you promised your mother you would never use your powers under any circumstances? Especially when every farmer in the Midwest pledges money, and their daughters, to break the twenty-year drought over their fields? Harry Red-Wolf is finding out.
5. The constant rain in the Lake District is supposedly orographic precipitation...but Henry knows it's really an ancient legacy from a misguided desert tribesman. As he races to destroy the legacy and save his sun-dried tomato business, can he outsmart the meteorologists, who don't want to return to work?
6. May Jean Whistler longs to leave her tiny Wyoming town, but ancient law says her family's presence is the only thing that guarantees the ranchers rainfall each year. Then a stranger rolls into town on a thunderstorm and says he can free her--for a price.
Original Version
Overlord of Evil Editing,
Nothing good has ever come of Lynette always breaking her continent’s rules-- until she eavesdrops on a conversation regarding a plot to murder her family. [Eavesdropping on a conversation about your family being murdered is against the rules of the continent?] [It seems to me that if there were rules that applied to entire continents they would have to be really general. I mean, if the French tried to make a rule that everyone in Europe had to speak French, the Italians would have a fit. So Europe's only rule would be No Americans allowed, unless you're here to spend lots of money or to save our asses.] [Actually, that would be the only rule of every continent. Except that Australia has some rule about not stealing kangaroos.] It may be too late for her dead father, [If you're gonna murder a family, it's easier if you choose one in which the father's already dead.] but it’s not too late for Lynette. She takes her sister and a sword, and steals away to escape the same fate.
But Lynette can’t run forever. Due to her ancestry, Lynette must take up the hero’s mantle and defend the Goddess Arydne’s land. Never mind she’s thirteen. Never mind she doesn’t know how to swing a sword. Never mind the murderer is a high-standing nobleman, or he’s got the royal army backing him. And never mind he has six hundred years of experience, because Lynette's going to bring a higher power into play- and get revenge while she’s at it.
[Lynette vs. army: Army wins.
Lynette + goddess vs. army: Army loses.
Goddess vs. army while Lynette goes to the mall: ????
In short, what does Lynette bring to the table?]
If the Goddess expects miracles from Lynette, the expectation goes both ways.
THE RAIN LEGACY is a 40,000-word middle grade fantasy novel. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Notes
You've set up the situation. I want more about the plot than Lynette calls on the goddess for aid. Does the army have a chance of defeating the goddess? If so, does Lynette have any skills that could turn the tide? What's the plan Lynette + goddess hatch to defeat megalomaniac + army? What could cause them to lose? How do they plan to overcome this stumbling block?
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
New Beginning 768
I woke up naked.
But that was only half my problem.
I was laying naked outside, in a corn field, freezing. I could feel the cold, hard ground beneath me; my body felt as though every bone in it had been broken, at least twice. The taste of blood in my mouth nearly rivaled all my physical pains, but my brain was going through its own form of torture trying to remember why I was outside, without a stitch on in the middle of November in northern Illinois.
I cracked my eyes open. My breath came out in frosty clouds as I strove to pull cold air into my lungs as if for the first time after waking up from being pronounced dead. Above me, I could see the crisp midnight-blue sky, stars glittering coldly, like indifferent specks, making me feel more alien than I had ever felt my entire twenty-one years. I knew what had happened—the reason for all this—but I couldn't remember what I had been doing for the last several hours. I knew time had passed because the stars were in a different configuration above me. And I didn't see the moon, full and bright, as I knew it had been when the transformation came over me.
I was experiencing a terrible death and rebirth and I was in my birthday suit. Death by cliche and rebirth from that terrible knowledge. How could I have fallen into the trap that I had set for myself? I had bitten my tongue and made it bleed when I should have bitten my fingernails because those guardians of the fingers that hit the keys, should've suffered for producing those awful phrases we've heard a million times before. I was naked, exposed on the site forever following a dark and stormy night that would stay with me and my cliches forever. Bare naked with my shame.
Opening: Lorelei Bell.....Continuation: Anon.
But that was only half my problem.
I was laying naked outside, in a corn field, freezing. I could feel the cold, hard ground beneath me; my body felt as though every bone in it had been broken, at least twice. The taste of blood in my mouth nearly rivaled all my physical pains, but my brain was going through its own form of torture trying to remember why I was outside, without a stitch on in the middle of November in northern Illinois.
I cracked my eyes open. My breath came out in frosty clouds as I strove to pull cold air into my lungs as if for the first time after waking up from being pronounced dead. Above me, I could see the crisp midnight-blue sky, stars glittering coldly, like indifferent specks, making me feel more alien than I had ever felt my entire twenty-one years. I knew what had happened—the reason for all this—but I couldn't remember what I had been doing for the last several hours. I knew time had passed because the stars were in a different configuration above me. And I didn't see the moon, full and bright, as I knew it had been when the transformation came over me.
I was experiencing a terrible death and rebirth and I was in my birthday suit. Death by cliche and rebirth from that terrible knowledge. How could I have fallen into the trap that I had set for myself? I had bitten my tongue and made it bleed when I should have bitten my fingernails because those guardians of the fingers that hit the keys, should've suffered for producing those awful phrases we've heard a million times before. I was naked, exposed on the site forever following a dark and stormy night that would stay with me and my cliches forever. Bare naked with my shame.
Opening: Lorelei Bell.....Continuation: Anon.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Face-Lift 798
Guess the Plot
Elizadeath
1. When Death takes a holiday, he leaves his scythe in a safe place behind the dresser. But Elizabeth, the put-upon perfectionist cleaning lady, finds it and goes on a "holiday" of her own. Can Death get his job back?
2. Elizabeth is having one lousy fifteenth birthday, mostly because of the hitman who killed her. Now she's awakened in the morgue, and the hitman wants to turn her from the living dead to the dead dead. It's beginning to look like she won't make it to her senior prom.
3. Thirteen years after the night Eliza found both her parents murdered, she's come back to her home town to witness the execution of the murderer. But when she contacts her dead parents via ouija board and they claim to have been killed by someone else, Eliza suddenly finds herself fighting for the freedom of the convicted killer.
4. Countless biographers have recounted the life and times of Queen Elizabeth. I'm the one you want to pay attention to, however. Only I maintain the proper history of the vampire herself, who, in the proper circles, was known only as Elizadeath. But as I translate the records from vampiri to English my own life becomes threatened.
5. Elizadeath is sick of her classmates’ cruel jokes—-her parents’ dyslexia is no laughing matter. But when new kids Warren, Fammy and Penelopestilence move in next door, Elizadeath finally makes some friends. As all hell breaks loose, will Elizadeath choose to save her repentant classmates from their impending doom?
6. As soon as they turn 18, sisters Elizadeath, Ebola Gay, and Eleamorgue plot to revenge themselves on their parents for giving them such morbid names by legally changing them to Daisy, Buttercup, and Rosebud...until one of them notices that with a last name like von Fatal, they're still screwed. Hasty marriages to guys named Smith, Johnson, and Baker ensue.
Original Version
Dear Evil Editor,
Waking up in the morgue is just the icing on the cake. [Icing on cake is a good thing. The idea is that cake is good and icing makes it even better. For instance, if Evil Editor buys your manuscript, you're thrilled even if he pays you nothing, and if he offers you a seven-figure advance, that's the icing on the cake. Your situation is a bad thing topped off by one more bad thing. Sort of like:
Of course, you probably don't want to say, Waking up in the morgue is just the sudden downpour on the body snatching excursion, but you could call it the final indignity.] Elizabeth is having a rough day. [First she uses the wrong cliche, and then--the final indignity--Evil Editor mocks her query.] It’s certainly not how she envisioned her fifteenth birthday would end. She wishes she could comfort her grieving parents, but she can’t speak…yet. She would run away from the hitmen sent to dispose of her, if her legs could move. And she would tell her boyfriend everything was okay, [but she can't speak...yet.] if she hadn’t died two hours ago. Or did she?
Welcome to the strange new world of Elizabeth Davis. If she thought she had self-esteem issues before, becoming the living dead isn’t going to help. Rigor mortis, dull hair, and cloudy eyes are NOT cute. She’s not sure why this is happening, she doesn’t know who is after her or why, and she can’t BELIEVE how pale she’s become- “it’s so gross”.
Follow Elizabeth on her mysterious journey to find out what happened to her, [I've got a better idea. Tell us what happened to her.] how she can get her life back and whether she’ll ever make it to senior prom- if you can stand the smell. [Senior prom? Isn't she a little young to be thinking about that?] ELIZADEATH is a middle grade novel standing at approximately 38,000 words. Sample pages available upon request. I hope to hear from you soon.
Notes
It's good to put some voice into the query, but some of the voice is falling flat. "It's so gross," for instance, and "If you can stand the smell." The phrases immediately preceding these have the voice you want, so just drop these.
Once you've done that, the "Welcome..." paragraph isn't bad. The opening paragraph would be better if it were examples of how Liz is having a rough day. Something like:
Elizabeth is having a rough fifteenth birthday. First her boyfriend calls to say he can't make her party, then her mom pukes on the cake right in front of Liz's friends, and then the final indignity: she gets murdered by a hitman.
I wouldn't mind a few sentences about what happens after she wakes up in the morgue: Being dead is inconvenient, but Liz is determined it won't keep her from making it to the prom. First she'll have to deal with the hitman, though. He was hired to turn her into a corpse, not a zombie, and he's still on the job.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Historical Pitch Session 3
Good morning, sir. And my I say, you look quite dashing in your--
Cut to the chase. What's the title?
Dracula.
Christ.
It's the name of the key character.
Who is he? Or she?
He's a vampire.
A what?
He's an undead man who drinks human blood by sucking it from people's throats.
Whattaya mean, "undead"? Is he alive?
Not exactly.
Then he's dead. I get it, you figured no one would read a book about a dead guy so you call him undead. Clever. And I say "clever" in the hope that you recognize sarcasm when you hear it.
Dracula can turn into a bat, has no reflection in mirrors, can only be killed by a stake through his heart, hates garlic--
I love garlic. Ever eaten at Carambas?
No.
Look pal, not to rain on your parade, but I'm looking for memorable characters with staying power. The kind that endure though the ages. Not some gimmicky super villain who'll be forgotten by this time tomorrow. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
--Evil Editor
Cut to the chase. What's the title?
Dracula.
Christ.
It's the name of the key character.
Who is he? Or she?
He's a vampire.
A what?
He's an undead man who drinks human blood by sucking it from people's throats.
Whattaya mean, "undead"? Is he alive?
Not exactly.
Then he's dead. I get it, you figured no one would read a book about a dead guy so you call him undead. Clever. And I say "clever" in the hope that you recognize sarcasm when you hear it.
Dracula can turn into a bat, has no reflection in mirrors, can only be killed by a stake through his heart, hates garlic--
I love garlic. Ever eaten at Carambas?
No.
Look pal, not to rain on your parade, but I'm looking for memorable characters with staying power. The kind that endure though the ages. Not some gimmicky super villain who'll be forgotten by this time tomorrow. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
--Evil Editor
Historical Pitch Session 2
Rory Jakalya pitchman for the Late-Night Products stood in front of EE's desk. "I propose a tale of the future told by those who lived through it. Some day in the future, historians will report what today seems inconsequential and on an equally inconsequential day and in the future -- say fifty, one hundred or more years -- the event will reach such proportions that sphincters will tighten like steel vices, hard enough to make diamonds."
"That a little vague," EE said.
"Readers are used to novels beginning with big events; murders, car wrecks, breaking ups. Stuff like that. But in reality, history is never that obvious, that certain."
"True, most historical novels begin with a significant historical event."
"A man is born like any other man. Usually, the father leaves or the mother dies. Heroes are always born poor, disadvantaged orphans. What beginning could be more banal, more prosaic? Years later, we find the child become man become leader. Babies are held up for him to kiss, men defer to his judgment and a nation marches to war. His scion will be the one to devastate the world with fearsome weapons."
"So what's your pitch?"
"I propose the following: You finance my life, my son's life and his son's life and I'll make sure that we research a famous figure who fits the bill. Then my grandkid, who we will make sure is a great writer, can write a bestselling history with my son's and my notes. Think of it as a long-term investment for your grandchildren."
"That's one of the most original pitches that I've ever heard."
"Well, will you do it? Huh? Huh?"
"I can only trade you some investment property in Brooklyn," EE smiled and twiddled his muttonchops.
"It's a deal." Rory extended his hand.
--Dave F.
"That a little vague," EE said.
"Readers are used to novels beginning with big events; murders, car wrecks, breaking ups. Stuff like that. But in reality, history is never that obvious, that certain."
"True, most historical novels begin with a significant historical event."
"A man is born like any other man. Usually, the father leaves or the mother dies. Heroes are always born poor, disadvantaged orphans. What beginning could be more banal, more prosaic? Years later, we find the child become man become leader. Babies are held up for him to kiss, men defer to his judgment and a nation marches to war. His scion will be the one to devastate the world with fearsome weapons."
"So what's your pitch?"
"I propose the following: You finance my life, my son's life and his son's life and I'll make sure that we research a famous figure who fits the bill. Then my grandkid, who we will make sure is a great writer, can write a bestselling history with my son's and my notes. Think of it as a long-term investment for your grandchildren."
"That's one of the most original pitches that I've ever heard."
"Well, will you do it? Huh? Huh?"
"I can only trade you some investment property in Brooklyn," EE smiled and twiddled his muttonchops.
"It's a deal." Rory extended his hand.
--Dave F.
Historical Pitch Session 1
September 19, 1911
“greet pleasure with hopefulstares upon stairsyourstairs.”
The man smiled and took off his hat.
“What in the hell was that?” asked evil editor.
“e e we see mirrored initials uponeachothers. eye.”
“Good Lord, not another poet. Mister... Cummings is it?”
“Is are they are ring true.”
“Well thank you for...” EE smirked. “for coming. But I thought you were from Harvard’s Business School. I’m sorry mr. cummings, but I’m going to have to insist you get the H. ee LL out of here.”
the poet smiled and putonhishat. with that, he left.
--Stephen Prosapio
“greet pleasure with hopefulstares upon stairsyourstairs.”
The man smiled and took off his hat.
“What in the hell was that?” asked evil editor.
“e e we see mirrored initials uponeachothers. eye.”
“Good Lord, not another poet. Mister... Cummings is it?”
“Is are they are ring true.”
“Well thank you for...” EE smirked. “for coming. But I thought you were from Harvard’s Business School. I’m sorry mr. cummings, but I’m going to have to insist you get the H. ee LL out of here.”
the poet smiled and putonhishat. with that, he left.
--Stephen Prosapio
Book Chat 28
Book Chat 28 Stieg Larrson/ The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Dave F. said...The book is well represented in the press. It seems to be "THE" popular book. I have the second but I haven't read it yet. I just didn't get the time to plow through it yet. I sort of liked the first.
Robin S. said...I've noticed everyone reading this book, and gifts of this book being given to people at the office, etc. It went viral. Would love to know how to get a toehold on that process. Do you have to die after writing a novel to do that?
Evil Editor said...I'm not sure why it's so popular. I liked it enough to read the second one, but does it have a special quality other good mysteries don't have?
Dave F. said...It has all the elements of a good mystery: a wronged hero (At least we are told he is wronged for slandering a corporate head), a quirky heroine with computer skills, and lots of bizarre sex.
Evil Editor said...Everyone on the island was a possible suspect and there were forty or fifty people there. I didn't feel I was getting to know any of them well enough to care whodunnit.
Robin S. said...Agree with EE. This novel is well-written, and the 'conversations' in it are well done, don't feel stilted, etc. BUT - P D James kicks this guy's butt. I think it's down to the viral thing. And a good title. And him being dead. It does feel distanced on the people. I wondered if that was simply cultural.
Dave F. said...It's a fairly complex book. The opening chapter of the pressed flower picture is satisfied along with the second plot of the libel conviction. I thought there would be more connection between Vanger Inc and Wennerstrom from years back. The connection was tenous to vaporous. I found it interesting that the original title in Swedish meant "Men who hate women" and that makes me wonder if some of the extreme misogyny meant the book was more a screed on misogyny than murder mystery. It might be that the mystery was just a vehicle and the secondary plot. Let's hold a seance and ask the author. Anyone got a Swedish Ouija board?
Robin S. said...Dave, that's really interesting on the title. I had no idea -but it fits.
Evil Editor said...As some of us haven't read The Girl Who Played with Fire, I won't provide any spoilers. But I will say that while Blomqvist was the main main character of Tattoo, Salander is the main main character of Fire. And she's a more interesting character. I liked Fire a lot more. It's also more thriller than mystery, while tattoo is more mystery than thriller, though they both have strong elements of both.
Dave F. said...No one has to look at any of this. I'm just posting it for people to read after the discussion. The Internet is filled with stuff about "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" and the other three novels. Yes, there are two definite books and the fourth is possible. The fourth novel was 3/4's finished when Stieg Larssen died and someone who might be involved with the author and his notes and outline and the the court fights about Larssen's estate might be finishing it.
Steig Larsson Unpublished Work Discovered After Death
By MALIN RISING
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/08/steig-larsson-unpublished_n_604290.html
There's a New York Time's article:
A Scandinavian Hit Sets Publishers Seeking More
By JULIE BOSMAN, June 15, 2010
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/16/books/16noir.html?ref=books
There is an amazingly funny satire in The New Yorker:
The Girl Who Fixed the Umlaut
by NORA EPHRON in The New Yorker Magazine, July 5, 2010
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2010/07/05/100705sh_shouts_ephron
There's a tour in Stockholm of the non-existent locations that might have been in the novel:
Stockholm tour for 'Dragon Tattoo' fans: Readers of late Stieg Larsson get lost looking for quaint town of Hedestad
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38205073/ns/travel-destination_travel/
And last on my list is the Swedish Movie Adaptation of the novel, which is long at 2 hr 30 minutes and has English subtitles. And please note that several reviews are negative because of the explicit sex and murder scenes.
Blu Ray: http://www.amazon.com/Girl-Dragon-Tattoo-Blu-ray/dp/B003T6LIBM/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1279425737&sr=8-2
DVD: http://www.amazon.com/Girl-Dragon-Tattoo-Michael-Nyqvist/dp/B003FBNJ4U/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1279425737&sr=8-1
Evil Editor said...Explicit sex? Where do I get a copy?
Robin S. said...Cool for the article links - thanks, Dave. And, EE, you've had some damn good sex scenes done on this blog, as I recall...
Evil Editor said...The street signs in Sweden must be about six feet wide to hold some of those street names.
Dave F. said...Hedestad doesn't exist. So the streets might not exist either.
Evil Editor said...Book 2 has long street names too, and it's set in Stockholm.
Dave F. said...That's a big dump but most of it is background and ephemera...I think that success might be described as having NORA EPHRON write a parody of your book. AS for "dragon tattoo" I think the two stories aren't as well entwined as they might have been and that's what leaves us looking for more.
Evil Editor said...I was highly disappointed after all the conjecture about how the dead/missing woman got off the island to find she was in a car trunk. I was expecting it to be something ingenious.
Dave F. said...I thought that was too normal (leaving town in a trunk). It's logical and very simple, considering that simple works in most real life situations. However, in a novel one wants an escape worthy of James Bond movies *who started out in novels)...Gee that's a circular car chase argument. Exciting for exciting's sake. The thought did cross my mind that Harriet couldn't have hidden that many years without being discovered. And then I remember a visiting scientist I met at work (Bruce Proudfoot if you can believe that name) from Australia and how amazingly anarchic and independent of all government rules he was. Only in Australia would be the answer.
Robin S. said...Yep - not saying this is badly written. It isn't. But I am saying it doesn't seem to merit the 27 million or so copies sold. Maybe it's all about the sex and the misogyny. Reading about sanitary pads rammed down throats and suffocating tortured female victims. That kinda thing. Thank God I have more than one explicit sex scene in my novel.
Dave F. said...There are critics who compare the basement scenes to "Silence of the Lambs" and I think that's a little overdone. I would like to have seen Wennerstrom connected to that bit of killing. That, I think is the missing plot connection. An old two family skeleton of serial murders inspired by Nazi beliefs. Disturbing to even type that stuff.
Evil Editor said...Serial killers are fascinating. And plentiful if you can believe Criminal Minds. Maybe it's that you never think of serial killers living in Sweden. If I were a serial killer in Sweden I'd always be saying, it's too cold; I'll kill someone tomorrow.
Dave F. said...There was enough in the book that seems "otherwordly" and foreign to me. I was satisfied with that element of the book.
Robin S. said...I like the otherworldliness of the book. Agree with that. Like I said, not a bad read- well-written, etc. But I do think the 'darkness' of the subject and the death of the author, etc., lends itself to a certain mystique.
Dave F. said...Steve Allen (The comedian) once published a record under the "name" of a dead black piano player and the record was so successful that he had to admit what he did so he could publish the second album of piano jazz. Dead poets and writers have that mystique.
Evil Editor said...I liked it better than the other mysteries we've done.
Robin S. said...Yeah- it's head and shoulders above, for instance, the mystery about the newspaper murder. No argument there.
Dave F. said...I don't know if I would agree about being the best but it is a satisfying mystery. I enjoyed it.
Dave F. said...I did not buy the Swedish movie -- BTW. There is a US production company interested but no script and no actors. Just speculation.
Robin S. said...I wouldn't have bought this book for myself without it being on the Chat, so glad you had it on the list, EE, so I could see what the fuss was all about.
Evil Editor said...Anyway, if you haven't bought and read The Girl Who Played With Fire, do. Especially if you find Lisbeth Salander an intriguing character.
Dave F. said...I've read too much about it in the press and I don't care if you spoil it but you might be the only one here who read "Played With Fire".
Robin S. said...I haven't read the second one.
Evil Editor said...The third book is out, but possibly only in hardback.
Dave F. said...I'd rather have paperback. I got so many books laying around...
Evil Editor said...It's interesting to have a mystery series in which the stars are a publisher and a computer hacking woman. Usually if it's a series it's a detective or a lawyer or at least an amateur sleuth.
Dave F. said...A very non-standard mystery duo. How exciting can book publishing get? I mean unless you are Kitty Kelly or that woman who tried to publish OJ's "maybe I did something in a dream" book...
Robin S. said...Yeah, we've seen hackers in movies, etc., but the combo of publisher and hacker is interesting.
Evil Editor said...I think we've said all we had to say. I'm sure Sylvia will add her comments at the end, as will anyone else who cares to. I'm expecting Sylvia to show up in a few minutes and say that she thought it was now 10 AM eastern.
sylvia said...GAH I'm an hour out after all that?
sylvia said...Catching up now - I was worried everyone was going to say they really loved it. I thought it was OK but not mind-boggling. I am somewhat relieved to see that you guys had the same impression.
sylvia said...Well, you were absolutely right that I was not able to tell time. Sorry, I totally messed that up. A few more quick comments having read the rest: I did wonder if part of the excitement about the book was because it was Scandanavian, so viewpoint and minor details are quite different from what we might be used to with US/UK releases. We've read some translations before but I don't think "most people" who stick to the best seller list have? So there's an undercurrent there that feels fresh and different. I thought the story was good enough but I agree, it did feel distanced. I liked Blomqvist but he seemed like he was going to turn out OK regardless. Salander's life was scary and I respected her for remaining in control, but I didn't like her. As a result, I wasn't too invested in the story. I liked the tone and the overall darkness though and I will finish Played with Fire now.
fairyhedgehog said...I read "The Girl Who Played With Fire" first and enjoyed it more, but I think part of my enjoyment of this one was finding out things that had been referred to in the second book. I think of all of them, book two was my favourite. I think EE's comments about Salandar being the most interesting character are spot on. I did enjoy the hacking aspect, and the way that her past had affected her.
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