What can I say about a man who reached the very pinnacle of his profession and then decided to quit snake handling and become an editor? And, three months later, decided to quit editing and become a full-time blogger? Only one thing: I'm not dead, idiots.
And by "not dead," I don't mean like zombies, vampires, Jesus, and everyone who ever died on Lost.
I know what you're thinking. If you're alive, who's that in the casket? Hey, did anyone bother to flip him over, get his wallet and check his ID?
Okay, mystery solved. It's some guy named Pepi Prosciutto. He doesn't even have muttonchops, you idiots. Go home.