Sunday, September 06, 2009

About the Editor 5

‘He’s brilliant, brilliant I tellya.’

‘Yes.’

‘No, I mean it. Brilliant. Real brilliant.’

‘Very good.’

‘But not brilliant like sunlight brilliant or the colours of the rainbow, no way. His is a more cerebral brilliance. Kinda like Einstein, yanno?’

‘Sure.’

‘He’s got this blog, see. It’s like a newspaper column, only it’s online, and he hosts it, and everyone writes in. You can comment, write stories, make up jokes for cartoons. It’s just the craziest thing. And he’s the craziest guy.’

‘Okaaay...’

‘No, seriously. He dresses like he’s walked out of the Nineteenth Century. He’s got a waistcoat, a smoking jacket and those funny little glasses without the things that go behind your ears; kinda like a monacle but there’s two. And his hair’s all old fashioned like a judge’s wig, and he’s got these muttonchops and — oh — a pack of weredingoes and Mrs Varmighan and all kinds of crazy stuff. I tellya, you gotta log on and see it for yourself. It’s www.evileditor.blogspot.com. You can get mugs and T shirts and everything. One time he did this hilarious thing when a bunch of Nigerian guys tried to scam him. It was just. So. Funny. Did I tell you he’s an editor? So he’s really really clever with words. Heh — those guys must have felt so small. But he pulls that kind of wacky stunt all the time. Like I say, people write in, and he lampoons them. It’s real witty stuff. Lemme see, what’s a classic line? Oh yeah — “fucking squirrels”. Can you believe it? Fucking squirrels! Ha ha haaaar. Ain’t that just the funniest thing you ever heard?’

‘I’m sure it’s all very amusing, pal, but do you want me to extract this molar or what?’

--Whirlochre

3 comments:

Dave F. said...

I like this. Kinda not completely crazy but just close enough to strike fear in the hearts of writer's everywhere...

Rick Daley said...

Gets back at the dentist for each time he put a bunch of shit in your mouth and then started asking questions.

Plus, you mentioned weredingoes. That's always worth bonus points.

Anonymous said...

Now that I've read this, I kinda like the feller. Funny.

--Bill H.