Dear Sir,
Thank you for your interest but regretfully I must inform you that I will not be providing you with my phone number at this time. Of course one must be aggressive in today's competitive dating market and I do appreciate the initiative you showed in approaching me, your determined refusal to take a hint, and that extra effort you put in by following me out of the cafe into the nearby bookstore. However as I mentioned – repeatedly – there is a current occupant in the position of Significant Other and therefore I am not entertaining any offers at this time, not even your kind suggestion that we "just be friends."
Nonetheless, allow me to wish you the best of luck in your future dating endeavors. Hopefully the next girl will not lose you by doubling back and sneaking out through the music department.
Sincerely,
--Sarah from Hawthorne
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7 comments:
Ah, such a smooth, elegantly-phrased way of saying "#&*@ off"!
"I do appreciate the initiative you showed in approaching me, your determined refusal to take a hint"
Classic.
Doubling back - good stuff.
Ducking through the music department... That's like picking up girls in Victoria's Secret. creepy, creey
Note to self: remember to watch music department door next time...
I love your phrasing, especially
there is a current occupant in the position of Significant Other and therefore I am not entertaining any offers at this time, not even your kind suggestion that we "just be friends."
Very nicely done. I can't pick out one sentence because for me it was the way the whole letter held together that worked so well.
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