Sunday, November 09, 2008

Elevator Pitch 9

One of the things I love about Tokyo is how you can step out of a tiny elevator into a wonderful little restaurant, full of interesting people and good food: the true heart of the city hides several stories up in some anonymous grey building.

And it was in one such place, that I happened to notice Evil Editor just a few tables away. I couldn’t believe my luck! I must have been staring, because he met my gaze a couple of times, but I could not bring myself to interrupt his meal. However, later, as he headed toward the exit, I knew my chance was slipping away, and I hurried to meet him.

“Hold on!” I grabbed the door just before it slid shut.

He took a step back as I entered the confined space. I must have been a sight: sweating from my sprint across the restaurant and panting like an overheated puppy. “So glad I caught you here,” I said. “I saw you there and I’ve been just dying to meet you. I’ve got something here I’d like to show you. It’s my fantasy.”

He cleared his throat.

“I know, I know. It’s not your usual thing, right? But it doesn’t hurt to try something different -- experiment a little. At least take a look -- I think you’ll like what you see. It might be a bit long; but I just know you could do something wonderful with it.”

I realized we weren’t moving.

“You did want to go down, right?”

He coughed.

I reached for the control panel, a mess of hieroglyphics, and hit the bottom button. There was a gush of running water as cold wetness enveloped my foot. I looked down. Shit. “This, uh, this isn’t the elevator, then?” Evil shook his head.

I slid the door open and backed away, but not before he had managed to piss on my other shoe.



Sarah Laurenson said...


Oh my! Um. Oh my! So perfectly ril!

Dave F. said...

And he had a WIDE STANCE, too.
Oh how embarrassing, what delightful humiliation and ruined shoes, too.

sylvia said...

Oh no! I spat red wine everywhere, dammit. We need a warning at the TOP of the post to tell us when it's ril's, please.

WouldBe said...

Good one, ril. I think that's why you don't a fellow the time of day in those situations, too.

Robin S. said...

It might be a bit long; but I just know you could do something wonderful with it.”

HA!!!! Seriously. God, this is so damn good, I can't's just. Damn. (this is my version of speechless.)

Anonymous said...

“You did want to go down, right?”

Truly a phrase that should never be uttered in a men's room! Very cool, ril!


talpianna said...

MAHvelous, dahling!

batgirl said...

I don't see how any red-blooded editor could turn that down. Sure beats the old 'sliding the manuscript under the stall door' tactic.

Whirlochre said...

This crept up on me very slowly, then suddenly whipped down my trousers and spanked my bare botty. Very funny.

ChrisEldin said...

LOL!! Ril, I love the twist!
I love the Tokyo was nice to read.