Sunday, November 09, 2008

Elevator Pitch 9

One of the things I love about Tokyo is how you can step out of a tiny elevator into a wonderful little restaurant, full of interesting people and good food: the true heart of the city hides several stories up in some anonymous grey building.

And it was in one such place, that I happened to notice Evil Editor just a few tables away. I couldn’t believe my luck! I must have been staring, because he met my gaze a couple of times, but I could not bring myself to interrupt his meal. However, later, as he headed toward the exit, I knew my chance was slipping away, and I hurried to meet him.

“Hold on!” I grabbed the door just before it slid shut.

He took a step back as I entered the confined space. I must have been a sight: sweating from my sprint across the restaurant and panting like an overheated puppy. “So glad I caught you here,” I said. “I saw you there and I’ve been just dying to meet you. I’ve got something here I’d like to show you. It’s my fantasy.”

He cleared his throat.

“I know, I know. It’s not your usual thing, right? But it doesn’t hurt to try something different -- experiment a little. At least take a look -- I think you’ll like what you see. It might be a bit long; but I just know you could do something wonderful with it.”

I realized we weren’t moving.

“You did want to go down, right?”

He coughed.

I reached for the control panel, a mess of hieroglyphics, and hit the bottom button. There was a gush of running water as cold wetness enveloped my foot. I looked down. Shit. “This, uh, this isn’t the elevator, then?” Evil shook his head.

I slid the door open and backed away, but not before he had managed to piss on my other shoe.

--ril

10 comments:

Sarah Laurenson said...

LOL

Oh my! Um. Oh my! So perfectly ril!

Dave F. said...

And he had a WIDE STANCE, too.
Oh how embarrassing, what delightful humiliation and ruined shoes, too.

sylvia said...

Oh no! I spat red wine everywhere, dammit. We need a warning at the TOP of the post to tell us when it's ril's, please.

WouldBe said...

Good one, ril. I think that's why you don't a fellow the time of day in those situations, too.

Robin S. said...

It might be a bit long; but I just know you could do something wonderful with it.”

HA!!!! Seriously. God, this is so damn good, I can't even...it's just. Damn. (this is my version of speechless.)

Anonymous said...

“You did want to go down, right?”

Truly a phrase that should never be uttered in a men's room! Very cool, ril!

Meri

talpianna said...

MAHvelous, dahling!

batgirl said...

I don't see how any red-blooded editor could turn that down. Sure beats the old 'sliding the manuscript under the stall door' tactic.
-Barbara

Whirlochre said...

This crept up on me very slowly, then suddenly whipped down my trousers and spanked my bare botty. Very funny.

ChrisEldin said...

LOL!! Ril, I love the twist!
I love the Tokyo bit....it was nice to read.